support my recovery journey

hi i’m Nour.

I have been recovering from “cumulative trauma” other known as “grief overload” experiencing a “delayed response” is one of many symptoms. It can take months or even years for the full impact of trauma to surface. The sudden anxiety, depression, and difficulty concentrating may impact the brain or the body. in my case, i have rationalized my trauma to death. but my body is now reaping the effects. 3 years ago i went through 3 tragic experiences at once. up until last week i was told i was stuck in survival mode for so long, that my body began suffering. i’ve seen many therapists that don’t feel they can tackle the complexity of my situation. i tried talk therapy, holistic, and EMDR, which was not completed due to my therpist suggesting it would be unethical for her to continue treatment at the quick decline my weight is at. My mother and father have helped as much as they could in the beginning with little they had. but I’m afraid my dependence and health has declined drastically. I completed my certification as a medical assistant. I worked hard and have been exhausting myself with every job available. side gigs, living in fight or flight mode, being a full time nanny city to city. while jumping from therapist to therapist with the hope of gaining healthier coping skills or some sort of relief from complex-ptsd. this unfortunately has led to starvation and severe malnutrition resulting in weight loss. I am at a point where I have to admit I need some help. Everything I have tried has only validated that I can not do this alone, and it’s ok to ask for help. A recent mental health setback left me with unresolved physiological symptoms that has slowed down my months of progress.

I’m seeking community support while I get back on my feet and put my certification to work helping others. To rebuild a solid foundation so I can share my story with those who feel there is no hope. I have been financially struggling for too long, knowing i’m capable of achieving every project and platform I have worked on for years. Unfortunately the jobs and gigs I have been open to the past couple years, have not been equivalent to the amount of time, effort and dedication I have put my mind through. In order to achieve small day to day tasks, any donation will help be regain my strength in more ways than one.

At the moment, i’m asking for help NOT to live lavishly, but to cover a few essentials that will give me space to eat, work, be able to take care of myself with basic day to day situations. my medical certification was a rewarding, intensive process that i am so proud of completing. I only feel it is useful to use it to help others only after I help myself first. A first step toward repaying loved ones who carried me when I couldn’t stand alone. you taught me so much about selfless acts of friendship and kindness i never experienced.

Your donation helps me:

• Maintain safe small studio while I live independently without unpredictable, housing situations under my name and become self reliant. Instead of constantly looking for a place to drag my suitcase

• show up to a job as a medical assistant who is healthy and knows the struggle of mental and physical health.

• Begin repaying loved ones who carried me through a hard time

My goal is $4,000 — enough to secure these basics, settle a little of what I owe, and clear the path to supporting others. on my physical well being and start my life with integrity and repay the kindness I have been shown

Every gift, large or small, isn’t just keeping me afloat; it’s an investment in someone determined to pass that help forward, through my medical work, community support, and showing up for those who don’t realize that there is help when you least expect it.

I know many are facing their own challenges. If you’re not in a place to give, sharing this page or sending encouragement means just as much!

Thank you for being part of the circle that’s helping me start a life based off of hard work, resilience, and support I never knew would show up the way it has. I hope we all can give this kindness and repay it to someone who’s in need. I am ambivalent about showing certain images at this time due to its sensitivity. that being said, I will gladly post and keep everyone updated during this journey once I I’m able to show some positive images and results.

I am so grateful for anyone who took the time to read this. Love you all.