- N
- D
Hi friends,
As many of you know my life began a major personal and professional transformation at the end of 2019. I have worked tirelessly to rebuild and regain some consistency and stability. However, one of the outcomes has been that my Children’s mother and I split up over a year ago. We have been trying to keep it queer and make it work for us all to live together, but ultimately our home is just too small and the feelings too big.
A friend came through with a new house for me to rent starting Sept 1, and I’m in the process of securing that place and setting it up to function well for me and my babies, who will be with me at least 50% of the time.
To that end, I need resources to make this transition as minimally impactful and traumatic for my children, who survived removal from birth parents and the foster system with deep scars of abandonment, rejection, and inconsistency. They are strong survivors who are being supported by both their parents, some close friends, their therapists, and a radical queer framing of family and relationship transition.
I need help to make our new space safe and secure for us. Their first night with me will also be their first day of school. The emotions are big and real with the Angel-Hudson’s.
Aliya is 9, in 4th grade, she really likes a good joke, and is still struggling with reading
Lark is 8, in 3rd grade, a creative maker of all things miniature, and deeply struggling with trans-racial adoption.
Felix is 6, in 1st grade, a master at Nintendo and trolling his siblings, and can math in his head better than you
Hazel is 5, in Kindergarten, cries to get her way, and can copy almost any picture she sees
I own my own business working as an Exteriors Contractor- I get to make people’s outdoor spaces beautiful. I’m usually working 6 days a week for many hours and will be adjusting to a late start in my day to get these Kids off to school- maybe an old fashioned carpool is in order. I miss nonprofit work and hope to return one day.
Ultimately folks who are able to donate money to this fundraiser will be helping in the most direct and impactful way as I’m facing very steep moving costs, deposit and rent, and I need to buy beds and other bedroom items for my kids so they have a place to sleep and call their own.
In addition to cash help some of you may be interested in donating other goods- this new home is small, the kids will be sharing rooms and I can only accept items that will fit the space in order to really make it work for us. Here’s a list of a few items that would help make this transition work:
- 4 lightly used or new twin mattresses
- 1 lightly used or new king size mattress and/or bed frame
- small vertical dressers
- twin bedding
- musical instruments
- I will have limited access to the family mini van and my truck only seats 3 car seats in the back and so my 9yo has to ride in the front, not the safest choice. I’m looking for an SUV with a third row or a passenger van
I want to acknowledge that I am not the hardest hit, or even the most desperate of folks from whom you may get requests for help. And I sincerely hope you will support those folks- especially BLACK TRANS WOMEN. I benefit from a tremendous amount of privilege and still, the wealth in our communities is absurdly unequal, making it nearly impossible for someone like me to have ever built a a safety net. I needed it when I lost my job, I needed it for 2 years through a pandemic, and I need it now more than ever. I want to give my children the best new start I possibly can in a home made for them, by me, and their community. No doubt you remember a time when life handed you transition after transition so much that you could barely tread water- but you did- and maybe someone helped you out, I need that to be you if you have capacity. And if you don’t, that’s okay, I’m always open to free gestures of friendship. Thank you sincerely from the depths of my heart for showing up for me right now. The photo at the top is us on their adoption day in 2018.
In struggle and solidarity,
Ben
As many of you know my life began a major personal and professional transformation at the end of 2019. I have worked tirelessly to rebuild and regain some consistency and stability. However, one of the outcomes has been that my Children’s mother and I split up over a year ago. We have been trying to keep it queer and make it work for us all to live together, but ultimately our home is just too small and the feelings too big.
A friend came through with a new house for me to rent starting Sept 1, and I’m in the process of securing that place and setting it up to function well for me and my babies, who will be with me at least 50% of the time.
To that end, I need resources to make this transition as minimally impactful and traumatic for my children, who survived removal from birth parents and the foster system with deep scars of abandonment, rejection, and inconsistency. They are strong survivors who are being supported by both their parents, some close friends, their therapists, and a radical queer framing of family and relationship transition.
I need help to make our new space safe and secure for us. Their first night with me will also be their first day of school. The emotions are big and real with the Angel-Hudson’s.
Aliya is 9, in 4th grade, she really likes a good joke, and is still struggling with reading
Lark is 8, in 3rd grade, a creative maker of all things miniature, and deeply struggling with trans-racial adoption.
Felix is 6, in 1st grade, a master at Nintendo and trolling his siblings, and can math in his head better than you
Hazel is 5, in Kindergarten, cries to get her way, and can copy almost any picture she sees
I own my own business working as an Exteriors Contractor- I get to make people’s outdoor spaces beautiful. I’m usually working 6 days a week for many hours and will be adjusting to a late start in my day to get these Kids off to school- maybe an old fashioned carpool is in order. I miss nonprofit work and hope to return one day.
Ultimately folks who are able to donate money to this fundraiser will be helping in the most direct and impactful way as I’m facing very steep moving costs, deposit and rent, and I need to buy beds and other bedroom items for my kids so they have a place to sleep and call their own.
In addition to cash help some of you may be interested in donating other goods- this new home is small, the kids will be sharing rooms and I can only accept items that will fit the space in order to really make it work for us. Here’s a list of a few items that would help make this transition work:
- 4 lightly used or new twin mattresses
- 1 lightly used or new king size mattress and/or bed frame
- small vertical dressers
- twin bedding
- musical instruments
- I will have limited access to the family mini van and my truck only seats 3 car seats in the back and so my 9yo has to ride in the front, not the safest choice. I’m looking for an SUV with a third row or a passenger van
I want to acknowledge that I am not the hardest hit, or even the most desperate of folks from whom you may get requests for help. And I sincerely hope you will support those folks- especially BLACK TRANS WOMEN. I benefit from a tremendous amount of privilege and still, the wealth in our communities is absurdly unequal, making it nearly impossible for someone like me to have ever built a a safety net. I needed it when I lost my job, I needed it for 2 years through a pandemic, and I need it now more than ever. I want to give my children the best new start I possibly can in a home made for them, by me, and their community. No doubt you remember a time when life handed you transition after transition so much that you could barely tread water- but you did- and maybe someone helped you out, I need that to be you if you have capacity. And if you don’t, that’s okay, I’m always open to free gestures of friendship. Thank you sincerely from the depths of my heart for showing up for me right now. The photo at the top is us on their adoption day in 2018.
In struggle and solidarity,
Ben