Please Assist With Funeral Costs

Barry Pepper Sr

November 4th, 1954 - November 17th, 2024 (70 Years Old)

https://blairandson.com/tribute/details/6515/Barry-Pepper/obituary.html#tribute-start

Hi my name is Krystal and I'm the youngest of two children. I can't believe I'm seeking help, but here I am doing that. Please read my father's story and see if it hits your heart strings in order to donate. If you can't donate, please share! We are in desperate times with no help from any place other than possibly the CPP Death Benefit. (Social services won't assist because he made more than 733.00 a month, even though he was still well below the poverty line, he made too much)

Our father was a long haul trucker during the time when he wasn't forced into retirement due to health reasons. Trucking was his dream but a heart attack cut things short for him, including a car accident. Fast forward to the later years since I want to captivate your attention to what he went through at the end of his life.

Dad had end stage COPD after working years in a mine during his younger years when my brother and I were very young. Due to him working in the mines, he developed Black Lung on top of COPD. Although back then, COPD I don't believe was a thing. (I could be wrong)

Not only did he work in the mines and trucking, but he was a painter for vehicles, mechanic, carpenter and more. He was truly a man who worked with his hands and a Jack of all trades. He took pride in all of his work.

Now I'll jump to the hard part to write:

The beginning of this year, Dad kept having to go to the ER via ambulance due to his lungs not working properly. His O2 levels would drop into the 70's, or low 80's. (For a COPD patient the norm is between 88-94) As soon as he was put on oxygen his numbers would climb back up into the healthy range, and the hospital would discharge him right away without investigating things further as they'd deem his visit as a COPD exasperation. It was frustrating as no ER Dr would be willing (or able as they'd claim) to put Dad on O2 at home. He had several appointments with his respirologist who would turn down the use of O2, (his family Dr also would turn it down even tough there were ambulance trips to the ER usually twice a month, at least) and also push aside the concerns that his inhalers were doing absolutely nothing to help. (That should have been a red flag there for a physician I would think) So the strongest person I know and love did what he did best, pushed through as best as he could until September 8th came.

Dad went to the ER in an ambulance again and my brother went with him. While there, Dad's ER Dr ended up being his old family Dr from 21 years before. That's when he was heard, and validated that something was wrong. The Dr did extensive tests, and LISTENED to Dad when he said 'something is wrong'. That's when cancer was discovered on Sept 10th in several areas in his lungs. Our world crumbled at our feet but Dad remained the pilar of strength and said two simple words: That's okay.

Now I will jump to important dates:

October 3rd - Dad was supposed to have an EBUS but it was too dangerous and we were told Dad would not survive this procedure. A new date would be made with a different type of procedure.

October 13th - Dad was again, deemed unstable and would not survive this type of biopsy either. (A needle that would go into his lungs from between his ribs)

November 13th - This was the last attempt at a biopsy for Dad and the Tumour Board in Ottawa decided that it was worth a shot as long as Dad agreed. However the chances of survivability were not great but Dad said 'let's do it!'

November 14th - Dad's palliative care team (one nurse and a regional nurse) came by our home to discuss his options and what they actually meant. They wanted to be sure that Dad was making an educated decision based on actual facts.

That's when we were told that the type of cancer Dad has is terminal (technically we didn't get the opportunity to discover the type because no biopsy was performed but based on the repeat x rays, CT scans, and PET scans the cancer was very aggressive), the likelihood that Dad would survive the biopsy was slim, and they believed we should take the time as a family and spend as much time together as we could would be the best bet. (The trip to the city was 2 hours long and they also couldn't see Dad making that trip either)

November 16th (late night, nearly midnight) - A nurse popped in to refill syringes so we (my daughter and I) could continue giving Dad his pain medication. She was wonderful in everything she said and did. Dad was extremely restless and in pain. I asked her how long he'd be like this and she said she didn't think he'd make it through another night. Our hearts broke, but yet we couldn't handle where we were at because he was suffering.

November 17th - That morning, my daughter Karley, bless her heart and soul, was with her Grandfather when he took his last breath, in her arms. Dad was terrified to be along when he passed, and between Karley and I, we made sure he would never be alone. I'll forever be indebted to Karley for what she did for my Daddy.

Now we are a family grieving the loss of an incredible man. Selfless, humble, hilarious, wonderful, loving, and more. Everyone who met him, loved him. He was soft and gracious. Kind hearted and logical.

The last two weeks of his life was filled with uncontrolled pain and restlessness. He screams 'help me' and 'I want to go home'. He feared he'd be alone in a nursing home and no matter what we said to him, he believed he wasn't home with his kids and grandkids.

Dad's wishes were for him to be held at Blair and Sons in Smiths Falls, ON. Cremated but with a wake and funeral. However due to our own financial struggles (ODSP recipient and a student) we have no money to really put towards his funeral costs, Renfrew County (where he lived with me) won't help because of the mentioned 733.00 threshold, if he paid into CPP he will be eligible for the CPP Death Benefit and other than that, we're screwed.

Family and friends keep asking when the services will be, and to be quite blunt: We don't know and won't know until we get some financial help from somewhere. I'm embarrassed and ashamed for asking for help but I don't know what else to do.

Please help in any way you can by sharing this page or donating what you can. Every cent helps!

** If you'd like to donate in other ways please let me know. I'm on Facebook under Krystal Pepper. **

** Also, Dad didn't have life insurance.