My Tour De 4 Fundraiser to Fight Cancer

I’m doing the Tour De 4 ‘Blue’ Route 37.9 cycle on 7th September as part of Sir Chris Hoy’s vision to demonstrate that being diagnosed with cancer doesn’t define the limits of what’s possible. BE CAREFUl. If you decide to donate, many thanks but be aware that GoFundMe sneakily adds a 'tip' which wasn't obvious to me, defaults to 17.5% (sic) and goes to them. Hmm. Charity begins at home? I've added details at the end of my story on how to change the tip to £0.

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2017, almost exactly 8 years ago. I’ve been one of the lucky ones. Unlike Sir Chris, mine was diagnosed early. I went down the normal therapy route of GP appointment, finger-up-the-bum, GP referral, hospital appointments - peeing into a bucket, staple gun up the bum for a biopsy, MRI scan, CT scan, bone scan, hormone treatment and radiotherapy. I can’t lie – the ‘bum’ episodes leave you with little dignity. It wasn’t actually a staple gun but it had the same effect. While the Consultant was showing off the new diagnostic ‘toy’ to his Consultant chum and ooh-ing and aah-ing at its wonders, the main nurse was trying not to laugh, and the student nurse was trying to find somewhere comfortable to lie in the cramped room, all the while my bum was at a 45-degree angle and I was praying for Scotland. Why am I telling you all this? Guys - if you have symptoms, go and get checked. What’s losing a little bit of dignity compared to saving your life? Ladies – if your partner has symptoms, nag him till he gets checked.

My treatment has been successful. I keep active and still play various sports. Sadly, the treatment hasn't improved any of them. I'm just as bad as I was before I was diagnosed. I’m not a cyclist though. I can definitely manage the 0.9 of a mile, the other 37 I’m not so sure about. The training has been hard, especially on the aforementioned ‘bum’.

I’m doing the cycle with a friend who, like me, was diagnosed with albeit a different type of cancer, but, like me, his treatment has been successful. We’re not going to race the route. Getting round is the goal with a lot of blethering, mainly from him, and a coffee break or two on the way. (I’ve not told him yet about the bar-steward of a hill out of Strathblane - that should hopefully give me some peace from his blethering for at least 15 minutes.)

As well as being diagnosed early, I’ve been extremely lucky to have been supported by dedicated and superbly competent people and I can't thank them enough. I mention only a few but there were many – Dr Baughn, Dollar Health; Maureen Hamill, Urlogy high heid-yin FVRH (sadly now retired); Anne Wilson & Linzi Bryce, both Dollar Health who together must have been sick of the sight of me once a month for what seemed an eternity; the staff at Beatsons who made me rich with pure gold implants and those who guided the radiotherapy missiles for seven weeks; and Maggies for their support when all seemed doom and gloom. Finally, special thanks to my wife Anne – who nagged me till I arranged a GP appointment.

How to change the GoFundMe tip. Please select the link to 'Add a custom tip' and set it to £0 or move the 'slider' to the left till it shows £0.00 or whatever you deem appropriate. Without the GoFundMe platform, the processing of donations would be onerous but sneakily setting the tip to 17.5% in the hope donors may not notice? Come on, what a rip-off and a disgrace! If I'm going to work by butt off (there's that 'bum' reference again), I want all your hard-earned donations to go to charity. Aye they can tak' the loon oot o' Aberdeen but not the other way round.