Several years ago, my daughter went to her dads for the summer while I moved, and she never came back home. My ex decided he wanted her to live with him and took me to court. We lived several hours apart at the time. I could not afford a lawyer and was assigned one through Legal Aid, this lawyer was no where near equipped to deal with this matter. The judge determined my daughter would live with her dad.

I've made it my primary goal to be with my daughter again and spend as much time with her as I can. Since then, I've moved to be closer to my my daughter, and I have tried to be there for her, she is now 13 years old, as much as possible. My ex has smashed my daughter’s phone with a hammer in front of her. His wife has taken recordings of my daughter and sent them to her friends to make fun of her. This is not a good environment for her. I have also recently learnt that I have to ask my ex's permission to have extra time with my daughter, including picking her up from school, and taking her out for hot chocolate, due to the order my lawyer agreed to.

I’ve brought up 50/50 to my ex before and he does not agree. My daughter has asked to have 50/50, and he says no, his reason to her is because the courts said so. My only course of action is through my lawyer, who has so kindly reduced his work fee for me, and has previously allowed me to make monthly payment installments to him and I am hoping this is the case again. He has so far drafted two letters to my ex on my behalf, my ex still declines. The next steps are to bring my lawyer into this entirely to deal with my ex directly.

In this process, I have learnt that my previous lawyer agreed to a final order without properly advising me what was happening and what this meant legally. It means exactly what it sounds like, this order is final and there will be no changes unless we prove a change is needed, so now we fight uphill. I am expecting to do a Views of the Child report which is where a certain kind of counsellor has a one on one conversation with my daughter to determine what she wants on our daughter’s behalf, which can be used in court. I expect this to cost at least $2,000, plus legal fees and potentially plus the cost of court depending if we get that far.

The original amount of $10,000 will go towards legal fees as my lawyer and I try to work things out as amicably as possible before things escalate, as well as the Views of the Child report. I am humbled to ask for help, but I will do anything for my baby girl.