Moving Forward: A Family's Urgent Need

Hey all. First of all, thank you for being here and even taking the time to hear my cry for help. Please know that this is so unlike me to put myself, or my children, out here like this for our own personal needs.

Whew... So here we go,

Long story short, my family needs to move. I’ve lived in my home for 11 years. As my children have gotten older, and began working, and I advanced in my career; the net income of our household has increased and I am no longer within the income guidelines, (per my management company) to continue having all of my children on my lease because we exceed income guidelines. (It is income-based.)

I haven’t received housing assistance, public aid, food stamps, or any government assistance in years, outside of living in my home, which is HUD funded. However, I have always been a single mother and managed to make ends meet the best way I could, with what I could, for me and my children.

I have 3 biological children of my own and as many of you know, I adopted my 11-year-old nephew when he was 4 too. That being said, I have always taken care of 4 children alone and have sacrificed, made mistakes, mismanaged, overplayed my part, and overextended myself into an extreme deficit. My selfless (and careless ignorance in my earlier years) and my heart have landed me in the position I am today.

Without blame or shame to anyone, the reality of my situation is that I have raised 4 children, fed families and communities when I had nothing, and no financial support coming in to replenish or replace what I gave, either. The total amount of child support I received was $127/mo, consistently for 19 years & less than $500/mo ($40k in arrears too) total for 4 children. Other than that, a payment, clothes, shoes, phone calls to my children, or solid relationships as they were/are maturing and growing have been non-existent. If I blame anyone, I blame me. And I can’t take it back, but they do deserve better. Even if it’s now, when I know better.

I’ve housed, fed, clothed, and given myself to true depletion.At this stage of my life, it’s quite embarrassing to be here. Embarrassment won’t stop me from ever trying when it comes to my babies though. I’m desperate because it’s a place that I cannot find peace in because my children are involved.

I’m at an awkward financial stage (on paper) that disqualifies me from receiving help from outside agencies, and I’m too poor to keep doing it on my own, without ever being ahead.

My tax return is even thousands of dollars less than it’s ever been. So do I sacrifice saving for food/groceries as the cost of food is insane, end up homeless, or cramped in a living space where my children feel the effects daily of how expensive it is to live, rather than focus on their dreams and futures, in spite of our hard time.

We (my family)... me and my children need a breakthrough. My babies deserve it.

To move, I would need to have 3x the rent. The average price of rent for the space we need is more than my entire tax return. I will still have monthly bills to pay in the home we live in now, application fees, and the cost of cleaning and moving, and zeroing down bills before we move is impossible to come up with in a month. I need to move and would like to move by April 1st.

My kids need new bedroom furniture, I don’t even have matching dishes, silverware or cookware, my couch is old and broken down from many bodies finding comfort and sleeping on it. My dining room table is broken—we got the bench rigged up…But it’s ours & Im grateful. My van isn’t going to run forever; I’m going to need money for repairs as they are essential and imminent. My windshield has been cracked forever and I choose to buy eggs and groceries, and have laundry soap and household supplies, rather than fix it. But it’s mine and I’m grateful to have a vehicle.

We need a restart. I want to finish my degree, and that’s close to $20k that I can’t even begin to dream about conquering.

Life has been hard and this isn’t the platform, the reason, or the place to tell those stories. Just know as a single Black Mother, I make this shit look easy. And every day is the hardest day of my life. I’m just praying we make it through and doing all I can in each second that I’m awake to receive the blessing of the gift of the day. If I’m breathing, that means there is still hope. I have faith that we will figure it out and get there.

I was hoping to invest and grow my family financially as well as spiritually and emotionally this year. While also being able to Pay off debts, get reliable transportation, secure adequate and comfortable housing, and comfortably blossom us all into the greatest versions of ourselves we have yet to meet. Showing ourselves a new way of life and changed mindset.

But Idk if im suffocating or drowning and I feel stuck. In this moment, hopeless, but Faith in my purpose and that we will make it has never wavered, either way.

While I don’t count my woes over my joys, I also can’t keep denying them. I’m drowning and could really use your help, not for anyone else this time, but for us; me and my children.

I have attempted to share this about 7 times and have recoiled every time. It’s the most uncomfortable space to be in, but I’m swallowing my pride and humbling myself to truly ask for help. If you are in the position to help us with a fresh start, it will forever be appreciated. We will all continue paying it back with love (with or without donations). But we could really stand to feel the love in our moment of need.

Thank you in advance for your considerations.