Moving Asher- finding an autism friendly home!

UPDATE: It is now the year of our Lord 2020 and I am updating and re-sharing this fundraiser because of course so much has changed. We now have a plan and a destination in place for our move and we COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED for this next chapter in our family path. Since we originally launched this GoFundMe so much has changed in our lives, as it has in everyones. COVID took Dave's job, Avery's school and normal social/performative life, and almost 100% of Asher's services and support. However,  through everything that has been difficult, challenging, shocking, or just plain BAD in the last few years we have never wavered in our belief that moving out of Montana is the right choice for Asher and our family. This bizarre year has opened the gates to new opportunities and we have decided to jump off a cliff and GO! We know this is a weird time to do this, and we are committed to doing what is the best thing for our family while being as safe and socially responsible as humanly possible. We also know that we have a lot of eyes on us, a lot of questions about our decisions, and yes, even a lot of criticism and raised eyebrows so far. I wish I could show everyone who so generously contributed to our dream already and everyone who *might* the blood, the sweat, and the tears that we have shed to figure out how to make an amazing life for our son despite his significant obstacles and simultaneously create an amazing life for the rest of our family while we are all adjusting our lives around him. It's a puzzle and it is not easy for one day but it is ALWAYS WORTH IT. 

We are driving away from Bozeman, MT on August 29th, 2020 for our new home in Charleston, South Carolina! Charleston is a city we absolutely love. Since we are taking Avery out of traditional school this semester and since it will clearly be a long time until we feel comfortable approaching a schooling or full-time therapy program for Asher, we were able to think outside the box and consider new places where we could thrive in this "new normal" lifestyle post-COVID.  We picked Charleston for so many reasons including the lower cost of living, the beaches, the warm weather year round, the endless parks, preserves, and historical sites. South Carolina is home to lots of loving family and my "ancestral" home. Charleston gives us access to a major hospital with pediatric neurology, developmental, and behavioral specialists. Not to mention close access to all the doctors and specialists on the eastern seaboard in cities like Charlotte, Atlanta or Philadelphia, Boston, and NYC to the north. Flying in and out will be 100 times easier for us and for family with access to major hub airports. With the proximity to so much we hope to expose Avery to so much theatre, art, culture, and diversity she is missing out on and craving! Charleston itself is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. We won't bore you with a hundred more things in a list but we are proud of our decision and confident in the relief we will experience there. 

FYI:  Besides money, we also accept kind words of encouragement, support, prayers, spells, and cheers. 

Since we did not meet our goal in its entirety, and since it is only approximately one third of the money it takes to actually move, we are putting it out there one more time ! Every little bit helps! And once this is done I feel like I can actually send out the thank you notes and gifts I have been hoarding for like... 18 months?! RELEASE ME! lol ;) 

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Friends and Family!

     If you're not inclined to read the long winded version below, my family is raising money so that we can move Asher out of Montana. We have found that as lovely as this state it, Asher is not receiving adequate support and care here.  We cannot afford to accomplish this on our own. This is the best thing we can do for our child who struggles to give him a chance at his BEST life. It would mean a lot to us if you would  read our story, consider donating, and share our campaign! 


     Our precious son, our sunshine Asher Levon is 5 years old and has high-needs, non-verbal autism. Ash already faces a heavy load of daily challenges and obstacles in his life. He struggles to gain basic communication skills and currently has no verbal language and very limited alternative language. Ash has self-harming tendencies and aggressive behaviors as well as sensory processing disorder. He suffers from co-morbid conditions like extreme food sensitivities and painful gastro-intestinal problems.
     
     We have known from the very beginning, even before his official diagnosis years ago, that Asher's challenges would require an aggressive amount of  interventions. Asher needs somewhere between 25-40 hours a week of services such as speech therapy, behavioral therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy. He especially needs them NOW in his early life to give him the best possible chance at developing the communication and coping skills he will need for his best life. Please read about the importance of early intervention here. 


    We are asking our community for support right now because we need to make a move this year. We have discovered in our time here that Montana is not a great place to raise a child with special needs and we want to move while we are still in his best developmental window. We simply cannot afford to make this transition without asking for help. The $5,000 we are trying to raise is one half of what we project moving will cost. 
   
      We know and appreciate that Montana is a beautiful, clean, safe, and majestic part of this country. We love the community here who have rallied behind us in what has been a challenging few years. However, Montana falls in the BOTTOM 5 of states as far as access to developmental disability services. Montana is the ONLY state in the US that will not educate a special needs child past the age of 18. Support that should be a given for a child like Asher is limited, financially inaccessible, and unreliable. Ashers' team is made up of excellent, trusted professional therapists, doctors, and social workers who have ALL confirmed for me that the level of help Asher needs is not available here.
     
     We have seen support programs and financial waivers disappear after being defunded by the state. We have been offered things like respite care, which is trained, professional caregivers providing relief for your family for a day, a night, or even a weekend on a regular basis. Then we quickly found out that there is no one available in this entire part of the state to provide it. Respite care is an important example because finding qualified babysitting or childcare for a kid with Ashers' unique needs is very complicated. Also, respite is a significant and impactful service that I know is common and available to families in other states. The last blow in a long line was him being kicked off of his insurance all together, leaving us scrambling to make sure he has the support and help he requires. The financial implications of all of this are severe. I quit my job years ago to care for Asher full time and as a family of four with significant needs on a single, modest income we are not in a financial position to pay out of pocket for his treatments, ever. The complications of dealing with "the system" here in Montana are many and too intricate to fit in the limited space given.

     I want to briefly speak to the impact on us, Ashers' family. We love Asher intensely and unconditionally. We all make sacrifices for his well-being and we do it gladly. But to deny the strain and stress that his high support lifestyle has put on our mental health and day to day lives would be silly and leave the picture incomplete. Every aspect of our family life is altered. This stress changes and weighs on our marriage as well as our bond with our oldest child, Avery. We all need relief. The effect of moving to a place where Ashers' life is easier would radiate out into his whole family. I need to be my best self as his mother to give him the profound level of care he needs daily. Dad needs to be his best self to provide for our family. Avery deserves to have the adequate support and attention of her parents to blossom into her best self. We look at moving as a way to provide for each of us, not just Asher. We know there is no magic bullet to make this lifestyle easy but it does NOT have to be as hard as it is here.


     There are other states and cities where policies are in place to protect and support kids like Asher. We will do anything for our son and we strongly believe the first step in his BEST life is taking him to an autism-friendly place where he has access to all the help he needs. There are other factors like the extreme weather, which keeps Asher inside and quite literally bouncing off the walls for six to seven months a year. There is limited access to the specialized medical care he needs (or may need) like neurology and psychiatry. There is only one pediatric neurologist in the whole state and there are no pediatric psychiatric inpatient treatment facilities within two hours from us now. As Asher grows and we face some of his hardest, most dangerous behaviors we need to be closer to those services for his safety and ours. 

          We plan to move to a place with the most open and generous policies regarding autism services specifically. We are keeping our options open within the parameters that meet our needs. Some places we are considering are California, Oregon, and Washington which all rank very high as far as access to autism services. Individual cities like Austin, Philadelphia, Davis, and Atlanta also show up high on the list for meeting the needs of families like ours. We will be considering factors like weather, community, and proximity to a major airport because we'd like to enjoy more visits to and from our family and friends. Flying in and out of an isolated place like Bozeman is prohibitively expensive for us as well as most of our family. This further isolates us and leaves us with less assistance. Within our carefully set out parameters, the place where Dave can find a great new job will be the place we find our home. We have been thinking about this and researching it for a long time. We will be happy to keep anyone who is interested up to date on our plans and changes as they happen.
     
     I have no doubt that this is the right choice for my son and for my family. I have no doubt that we can guarantee him a better quality of life outside of Montana. I have come to this conclusion through my own experience with him and with the system as well as with the input of invested, caring professionals. I have no doubt that we need HELP to accomplish this as we are financially trapped. If you are reading this, you are already someone who supports and cares about our family. I do not expect or feel entitled to anyone's generosity but if you find that room in your wallet as well as your heart, we would be forever grateful. Any money received will be used for moving expenses like a truck, transportation, and accommodations,  as well as the costs of settling into a new community such as a security deposit, job search expenses, and paycheck gaps. It is not easy to ask for help in the culture we live in. From the fierce love and passion we have for Asher's best interest, we are ready to reach out now. Thank you so much! Dave, Sarah, Avery, and Asher <3

P.S. If you have ANY questions about Asher, his needs, or our plans, do not hesitate to ask. I am as open and transparent in our experience as I can be.