Help to heal invincible Neil

On the 1st August 2023, after a very wet 3 day camping trip with friends in Wales our lives instantly changed forever. Whilst packing up the camping equipment alone (me and the kids were happily sat in the café waiting for him to finish – Neil does NOT appreciate our help!), Neil suffered a seizure and was found by other campers who called for help. The staff on site and an off-duty doctor on holiday there herself, were amazing, keeping Neil safe, preventing him from swallowing his tongue, preventing further injury and helping maintain some privacy and dignity during the long wait for the ambulance. After initially thinking all was clear and he’d just been unlucky we were given the devastating news a mass had been found on his brain.

Further scans and blood tests were completed, and surgery was quickly scheduled for two weeks later to remove the tumour. Neil was admitted to the high dependency ward and had surgery, which he sailed through being discharged two days later (when the anaesthetist woke him and asked if he knew his name his response was “I am Neil Taylor and I am invincible!”). However, biopsy confirmed the worse – brain cancer. We had been warned there was a strong possibility of this, however hearing the news was unimaginable. The following weeks were a living nightmare, which has slowly and sadly become routine, everyday life.

The gruelling standard treatment has begun, Neil travelling to Birmingham every weekday for 6 weeks radiotherapy, whilst also undertaking Chemotherapy: this will continue for 6 months. The side effects have started to kick in and have been pretty brutal and at some points scary. Neil's quality of life has seriously deteriorated from the happy, carefree person he was three months ago: he currently can’t manage activities with the children, instead we have to go out as a three, the kids often asking why dad isn’t with us.

Family, friends and both our workplaces have been truly incredible throughout, helping in every way they can; from childcare, driving Neil to appointments, messages of concern and comfort, meet ups for a day of ‘normal’ life and numerous accommodations at work. Everyone’s support will never be forgotten.

Neil's positivity has shone through, throughout – he has never doubted he will not be with us for years to come and is determined to be there to support Lil, Elliot, and Connie.

Neil's daughter Lil is going through something a child should never have to go through. She has been fantastic, supporting her dad at every opportunity including multiple hospital visits, staying at home with Neil so I can go to work and looking after her brother and sister so I can take Neil to appointments.

Elliot and Connie have a basic understanding of why dad had to spend lots of time in hospital but do not understand the magnitude of the situation (at the moment they don’t need to know more). Elliot is 8 and has been through a lot himself, with late identification of profound deafness and then having major surgery when he was almost 3. We then, as a hearing family had to navigate a whole new, unexpected world of deafness which sees us constantly needing to advocate for Elliot to always ensure the best for him. Both him and Connie (5, our little feral, feisty beast ) are truly amazing children and we are desperate for Neil to be there to support them as they grow up and help them meet their full potential.

Through research and recommendation by a very good friend (who is also a doctor), we had hoped to visit a clinic in Mexico www.hope4cancer.com who are carrying out amazing work to help cancer patients. We have had numerous phone consolations with the clinic and have spoken to previous patients: outcomes for these patients have been extremely positive, despite some of them being diagnosed with incurable cancers. However, at the moment we are unable to obtain travel insurance so we have a plan B (see the update!). After much deliberation, and the feeling we have no other options (the NHS are amazing but are also extremely limited in what they can offer beyond the standard level of care), we feel these are the best treatments for Neil to try to achieve his goal: to continue to bring his children up & be there for his beautiful wife until he is very old, greyer and wrinkled.

My children do not know the full extent of the diagnosis (we have not used the word ‘Cancer’ yet or talked about possible prognosis) and I would like to keep it this way so if you could please be respectful and careful when talking about Neil and his cancer, I would greatly appreciate this.

Ally (the loving wife)