Alright y’all, my life has officially hit rock bottom.

McLaren’s in the shop. The Excursion gets about 6 miles per gallon if I’m lucky. And the Dodge 3500 ? It’s a dually… looks great hauling air, not so great when I’m trying to squeeze into a Starbucks drive-thru.

Basically, I’m stuck looking like a broke dad at car meets, getting clowned by kids in Nissan Altimas. Can’t do it anymore.

So here’s the deal: I’m starting this GoFundMe for the down payment on a Lamborghini Huracán. Not asking for the whole thing, just enough to get me in the door so people stop judging me when I valet.

Do the right thing. Help a man in need. Don’t let me show up to another business meeting in a Ford.

No raffles, sweepstakes, giveaways, or promotions are offered in exchange for any donations made to your GoFundMe.