Hi there! If you know Me (Melissa), you know that I’m no stranger to fundraising…FOR OTHERS. Requesting support from you, the reader who I may or may not know, is a courageous act for me. Fears of judgment and disapproval swirl around and slow my typing and I choose to expose my deepest vulnerability to you anyway. “So why do it?” you ask. Courage: being afraid and doing what scares us anyway. I hope our story empowers both you and I as I share our journey of heartbreak to heartBEAT.

We are Melissa (40 in Nov) and Kevin (32 in Nov). Yes, I know, he’s 8 years younger. Thank you to my genetics for landing a stud like him .

If only those genetics were enough on August 19, 2019. After waking up from a deep sleep in sudden excruciating pain, I knew our unplanned pregnancy was no longer bringing me a fairy tale ending. I quickly learned that I was at risk of dying from the #1 cause of maternal death. In the ER, I agreed with intense trepidation after much deliberation, to exploratory surgery. The doctors informed me that if an Ectopic Pregnancy was confirmed, they would also remove my Fallopian Tube. When I woke up, they confirmed not only did I lose our baby, but they removed my tube and I likely wouldn’t ever get pregnant without IVF because my remaining tube didn’t look great. I was depressed and confused.

I’ve worked too hard on myself overcoming the impact of sexual assault, PTSD, and life’s many other challenges to allow myself to sit in a depressed helpless state for long so I set goals for myself to build my confidence again and committed to figuring out what my body could still do. Now almost two years to the day of our loss and two years of daily research, online support groups, $10,000 in doctor’s appointments tests and an additional surgery, I fought like hell to get here, and we finally have a plan that honors my body and our commitment to having a family. Breathe out. That was for me. I paused my writing realizing I was holding my breath as I do often out of anxiety and the constant state of “go” that I’m in.

This is our plan: Doc keeps reminding me of my age and my labs that tell us we need to move quickly if we want this dream to come true. I’m a natural woman. I prefer to avoid medicine and surgery as much as possible, so I’ve been trying countless alternative methods. I’m currently on a strict diet to reduce inflammation, taking supplements, detox and fertility teas, getting acupuncture, using castor oil packs, getting ample sleep and exercise to list a few ways I'm attempting to open my blocked fallopian tube with hydrosalpinx (fluid buildup). So far nothing has worked. I have plans for one last ditch effort for the natural route attending Clear Passage physical therapy in September costing $6,500. If that doesn’t work in a few months, I’ll be starting IVF process in December which will be upwards of $20,000 even with insurance. The physical therapy should help improve the outcome of IVF. Doc wants to remove my tube which delays the process another 3-5 months. Hydrosalpinx can prevent pregnancy or lead to miscarriage, but I’m not ready to have no tubes. If the embryo transfer doesn’t take, then I’ll have the surgery. January 2020 I had surgery to remove a fibroid and my tube and mid surgery Doc decided to leave it. I can’t help but think that there is a reason for it, and I’m meant to fight to keep it which costs more to keep my body intact.

Why support us? We have so much love to give (You should see Kevin with our 4 fur babies). We are under a time crunch for the baby bump and need funds immediately to make it work. Because you support my attempts to be as natural as possible. You’ll forever be a part of our story. Because our future baby might one day grow up to be like momma and be the one fundraising for or donating to you.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

With Love,

Melissa & Kevin