Matt & Lisa are Adopting!

Hello all! 

If you’re reading this, you may be aware that Lisa and I have been trying to start a family and that despite our best efforts, things have not been going well. 

We knew going in that we were a little older and that some underlying medical conditions might make things more complicated. In the beginning, we had some success which, while it ended in miscarriage, gave us hope to dust ourselves off and try again. We did, but those subsequent attempts also ended in heartbreak and more feelings that were not dealt with constructively. So, ultimately, we have decided that this should not be our path. We know our limits. 

We had always considered adoption as a possibility for us. Still, when you’re in the middle of things, it’s like pulling a lever on a slot machine again and again where you have a brief moment of hope, are defeated, and then think to yourself that this next one might be the one that hits the jackpot. Just one more… So I think it took me winding up in the hospital for a week with undiagnosed diabetes for us to have some time to unplug and gain some perspective. Sometimes the universe sends you what you need. 

I cannot point to any one thing that solidified adoption for us; I only know that one night, we were outside watching fireworks, and I said to Lisa, “I think adoption is the right thing for us.” As soon as I said this, everything began to make sense for us and all of the negative feelings we had been dealing with melted away to reveal the kind of comfort that only comes with knowing that you have made the right decision. 

So now we are getting deep into the process. We are filling out the paperwork and meeting with social workers. We are doing it! However, hanging over our heads is the specter of funding the whole process. 

At a minimum, if everything goes right, the cost of adopting in Ohio is $25,000. The first payment was $2,250 to cover application fees and the home study process with the state. 

At the end of the home study period, we will have to pay $4,000 to cover basic agency fees like establishing our profile, which is like internet dating. We create our profile, and we hope that someone likes what they see and wants to get to know more about us. Hopefully, this will lead to them being comfortable with us as parents to their child, and they will choose us. 

Then we wait... 

If and when someone selects us, a payment of $18,750 is due immediately. That payment covers a variety of fees such as legal, counseling for the mother, birthing and living expenses, etcetera. The catch is that if something goes wrong at any point, it’s on us to replenish any money that has been used for the next time. 

So yeah, it’s a lot to consider and a lot to raise in a short time as this wasn’t our initial plan, but here we are. We’re doing our part, we are cutting spending where we can, and I am driving for Lyft/Uber in my free time. There will also be grants we can apply for further down the road, and when the process is finally over, there are tax credits. Ultimately, we are bound and determined to get there one way or another. We were on the fence about even starting this fundraiser, but for this goal, we’re not too proud to do whatever it takes to get to the end. 

So we’ve set a modest-ish goal for this fundraiser. If we don’t hit it, that’s okay. If we raise more, that’s awesome, and maybe I won’t have to break myself (and my car) driving as much and get to see Lisa & my home a little more. Of course, all funds raised will be returned if the whole thing falls apart. 

Do not feel obligated in any way to donate. We know times are tight for many of you. But hey, if you have a few bucks to spare, that would be incredibly appreciated. Everything and anything helps. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your consideration! 

Matt & Lisa