Making Moms

It’s a natural progression; couples meet, fall in love, marry, and then decide if they want to have children. Some may not think twice about having children. And for many, it just happens. Many of those I consider “my people” are parents. And if not, they are aunts and uncles, teachers or coaches - in some form know the joy of children.

But not everyone has an easy journey to parenthood. For my wife and I, there was no just “letting it happen.” That’s the same story for many of my friends in same-sex relationships.

We pour our hearts and our savings accounts into our dreams of being parents. Let me tell you, anyone who has ever had to use a fertility clinic (no matter what type of relationship) knows that it’s expensive.

Through gritted teeth and a hesitant yes, my friends are allowing me to create this account on their behalf. Their hesitancy comes not with their desire to have a baby but with the vulnerability created by having your life (and finances) publicly shared. I get it. I was too prideful to ask for help. My wife and I - we sold cars, saved our change, withdrew retirement money and used every scrap of funds we had to have our boys. Saving is hard enough to do for one round of IVF, let alone two…or three. That’s the story of those I’m writing about. Let me tell you about my friends.

If there’s one thing I know in this world, Charity and Monica are meant to be parents. They love with their whole hearts. They walk with the broken-hearted and play, laugh, and sing with joy. They’ve got the perfect combination of strengths to raise smart, daring, and compassionate children. Charity’s adventurous spirit will be running barefoot with her kids, making messes and giggling until she can’t breathe. Monica’s ability to care for the needs of others will make her the perfect safe haven for her little ones (it doesn’t hurt that she’ll help keep them clean and hygienic after charity’s shenanigans).

Charity and Monica already love their nieces, nephews and any kid they encounter. They walked with me in the darkest moments of parenthood. When Greyden made happy memories, they were there; when he got sick, they drove across the country - they were there. Jumping in puddles, walking just to walk, jumping on the trampoline, singing wheels on the bus 5 million times, giving baths, and pushing meds…they were there. You guys, my baby boy, WAITED for Charity to arrive from Colorado before passing away. I wholeheartedly believe he knew she was coming, and he was waiting to say goodbye….that’s the love they had. Babies NEED parents like Charity and Monica.

Charity and Monica saved their money. They made smart choices. They planned and were responsible. But thus far, the cards haven’t fallen in their favor. The Drs are optimistic and have a great plan for making the third try at IVF the charm. Charity and Monica can try IUI for a lower cost but would love to do IVF with hopes of freezing embryos for future children.

So here’s where my ask comes in. Suppose you read this and can send a few bucks towards their story; great. I have assured them that those who can’t or don’t want to give won’t. But, let’s allow the world who can and want to help to do just that.

If you’ve experienced the rollercoaster of infertility, having a baby with a same-sex partner, adoption or anything of the sort - you know it can be a painful but also beautiful road - a road worth taking.

It’s hard to ask for help, so I’m happy to do it for them. I wish no one had to bear an unbearable financial burden to become parents, but that’s the truth many experience. Please, share Charity and Monica’s story - pass it along to a friend - do what you can to help good people raise more good people.

Who knows, maybe this can take off, and we can use additional funds to help other families. That would bring me so much joy. I know that the power of a community is great. I’ve experienced it first hand - I’d love to share that community with Charity and Monica.

With Gratitude,

Jackie & Beth