Maddie’s Journey to Become Her True Self

Meet Maddie, my clever, creative, and resilient daughter, who turns 18 this December. Maddie is a talented young person with a passion for music, an exceptional mind, and a bright, hopeful heart. But she has faced challenges that most of us could never imagine. Maddie is not only on the autistic spectrum and navigating ADHD; she also battles severe anxiety, depression, and OCD. Throughout her young life, she has shown strength in overcoming so many obstacles—including a terrifying struggle with anorexia that once had her hospitalised and, at one heart breaking point, wanting to give up on life.

Through endless therapy sessions, medication, and unimaginable courage, Maddie has fought hard to regain some control over her eating disorder, which has been in remission for almost two years. But despite her determination, there’s one challenge she can’t face alone: the fight to live as her authentic self. Maddie came out as transgender at just 13 years old and socially transitioned at 14. Since then, her journey has been filled with endless waiting, bureaucratic barriers, and heart-wrenching setbacks—all just to receive the basic healthcare every young person deserves.

Maddie’s life has been marked by waiting—waiting for the NHS Gender Identity Clinic, waiting for understanding, waiting to be seen as who she truly is. She was referred to the Tavistock, the gender identity clinic in the UK for adolescents, over three and a half years ago and still has not had a single consultation. Can you imagine being 14, finally brave enough to say who you are, only to be told you must wait almost five years just to have your first appointment? When she turned 17, Maddie was referred to the adult services, but the waiting list is another two to two and a half years—meaning she won’t get her initial consultation until she is nearly 20, and then she will have to wait again for her seconf appointment, before any real treatment starts. By the time she actually starts treatment with the NHS, Maddie will have been waiting for almost seven years, while the vital years of her adolescence have slipped by in limbo.

Because of these delays and the ever-worsening state of NHS gender services for young people, we made the difficult decision to seek private healthcare when Maddie was 15. We couldn’t stand by and watch her suffer any longer. Without access to gender-affirming care, Maddie’s mental health plummeted, and there were dark days when I feared we might lose her. Private therapy, hormone therapy, and puberty blockers quite literally saved her life. Every day, they have helped her build a future she never believed she could have.

But our fight for Maddie’s right to healthcare has become even more urgent. This summer, a devastating new law made it illegal for pharmacies in the UK to honour prescriptions for puberty blockers for adolescents under 18. Maddie’s treatment, which was keeping her stable and giving her hope, was cut off overnight. We were left scrambling, with nowhere to turn. The NHS offers no alternative, and there is no private health insurance that covers this essential care in the UK.

Despite everything, Maddie has shown a strength I cannot fathom. She’s endured verbal and physical abuse on the streets for simply being herself. She’s faced bullying, loneliness, and isolation, sometimes not leaving the house for months. Due to her struggles she could not access school whilst navigating the pain of being misgendered daily. But through it all, Maddie remains a passionate, loving, and hopeful young woman who just wants to live her life as the person she has always known herself to be.

Now, Maddie’s hope lies in the next step: gender-affirming surgery.

We have been researching options for years and have chosen a highly respected hospital in Bangkok, Thailand, with a globally renowned surgeon. The regulations are strict, and Maddie will need to stay in Thailand for a minimum of four weeks to receive the essential aftercare. She also has to be accompanied by a parent throughout the surgery and aftercare, I will accompany her and support her through it all. We had planned for this. We had saved, scrimped, and budgeted, determined to support Maddie’s dream of starting adulthood as her true self. But life threw us a cruel curveball.

Recently, our house’s drainage system collapsed, and the foundation had to be repaired—a problem we never anticipated. We’ve been forced to use almost all our savings to fix what turned out to be dangerous, substandard work done by previous owners. With this financial blow, Maddie’s surgery—the one thing she’s been holding onto, her light at the end of the tunnel—now seems out of reach.

This crowdfunding campaign is our last, desperate plea. Maddie’s surgery is booked for December 10th—just days after her 18th birthday. We need to raise funds to cover the remaining cost of the surgery, travel expenses, and aftercare. If we can’t, I fear what will happen to her. This isn’t just about physical health; it’s about mental health, survival, and giving Maddie a chance to begin her adult life with dignity, confidence, and the hope she deserves.

I’m asking for your help—not just for the money, but for the chance to give Maddie her future. I’ve watched my daughter fight and suffer in ways no one should ever have to. She’s brave, but she’s exhausted. She’s hopeful, but she’s running out of time.

Your support can be the difference between despair and hope for Maddie.

Every donation, no matter the size will be a huge help and will go directly towards covering the surgery and ensuring Maddie gets the care and support she needs. Your contribution will help ease her anxiety, lift her depression, and give her the chance to finally, after years of waiting, look in the mirror and see the person she has fought so hard to be.

Please, if you can, donate or share Maddie’s story. Together, we can show Maddie that she’s not alone in this battle—that there is a world of people who believe in her, who see her, and who want her to thrive.

Despite everything, Maddie still believes in the kindness of others, your donation is a reminder that she’s not alone in this fight.

Thank you for reading, for caring, and for giving my daughter a chance to live the life she was meant to live.

With gratitude and hope

Maddie’s Mum