Lost everything, we don’t want to lose our lives

I am Samer Al Najjar, 39 years old, a Christian from Gaza. I have three children: Fouad and Esther, twin aged 12, Fouad is the eldest who used to accompany me in every step I took, and Esther, the affectionate girl who cares deeply for her brothers being the only girl at home. The youngest is Fadi, whom I affectionately call the doctor because I see in him a successful doctor in all his actions. I have grown accustomed to meeting my children’s desires alone after my divorce, playing the role of both mother and father simultaneously. I work as an administrator at the Ahli Arab Hospital, where I used to work daily and lead a normal life. I live in a part of my family’s house, being their only son, so I am responsible for two families.

Before the war, I could manage all my affairs logically despite the difficulties and hardships that anyone in this world, especially from Gaza, might face. But after October 7th, the day that almost marked the beginning of an endless nightmare, my life as a hospital employee changed drastically. I was supposed to continue performing my duties amidst the suspension of work for all professions. My shifts increased, sometimes lasting more than 24 continuous hours. Amidst the intense bombing and destruction, I embarked on the adventure of walking long distances between home and the hospital, as transportation means were unavailable. Sometimes I had to take my children to my workplace out of fear of leaving them alone all night.

During my workdays at the hospital, it was bombed twice, and a major massacre occurred, resulting in the death of over 500 people. I was in extreme danger both times as I was very close to the scene.

The beginning of the war was an extremely difficult adventure as we stayed in our house without any life essentials such as electricity, water, internet, etc. Until the moment we received notices to evacuate the area completely and move to the south. We sought refuge in the Holy Family Church as we are Catholics from Gaza, insisting on staying at the church in the northern part of the Strip instead of going south, which was far from our home. Additionally, we had no shelter in those areas.

Until today, we are in the church, in a small room with 15 people, lacking privacy, stability, especially the availability of sufficient food or clean drinking water. The available food is overpriced and expired, forcing us to consume it to avoid hunger, even though it’s expired, just to partially satisfy our hunger.

During the ceasefire in December, I managed to reach home and found that part of it had been destroyed, and the other part had been burned due to incendiary bombs. Our entire house was looted, with its cost exceeding $80,000 over many exhausting years of construction, each detail of which meant a lot to my children, as they were left without any of their valuable or invaluable possessions. This is where their psychological suffering began, forcing me to deal with them in a way that may be extremely difficult. This compelled us to reach the forced decision to leave or rather escape from this country abroad, where I can find a better future for my children because the smell of death can be sensed everywhere in Gaza now, and Gaza can now be described as a ghost city.

After hearing about their friends’ martyrdom and the bombing of their school, my children insisted on the idea of leaving, through intense crying and screaming to survive from the war. Unfortunately, we faced the problem of paying a exorbitant coordination fee to leave through the Rafah crossing, estimated at $5,500 per person to be able to leave and escape the disastrous war. This made me feel with extreme anxiety and psychological pressure as I couldn’t afford to meet my children’s psychological comfort, as this amount is unrealistic for me and my salary, especially after my significant loss in this short period. So, I turned to this website as it’s the first global platform for sharing stories and suffering, reaching out to my cousin Kamil, who resides in America, as I trust him immensely, to help me in attempting of achieving this desire and dream that my small family needs.

In conclusion, obstacles stand in my way, and life closes its doors in the path I walk, but I must control and overcome these challenges. I am certain of that, so I ask for your support for my story, which has been harsh on me, and I offer you warm feelings for your interest in what I write. Finally, goodness continues by eliminating evil with the presence of people and a better world who have the ability to distinguish between good and evil. Thank you.