Words from Londyn’s Mom:

Praise God for a peaceful sleep! After not losing my child, but having to say Goodbye to her earthly body. Oh but just a see you soon to her heavenly body that’s brand new. I just imagined her running through those gates that big oh belly laugh chucking. Sweeping up flowers as she ran through the fields toward Jesus, standing with his arms stretched out to my baby, with the biggest smile on his face. I imagine God saying with so much joy and admiration Well done my precious child, Well done! If I had written Londyn’s leave from this earth I could not have made in any more peaceful and perfect. Sunday night as justin and I carried her to bed, she was talking to God. Now we had are Easter party that morning In which she had wrote a letter on why we were having it early. She was able to sit up and diy about 5 eggs. She didn’t feel great but she was still excited that her daddy was going to hunt eggs for her. My sister had gotten her a new stuffy she had wanted so bad when they had went to the store to surprise her with. She was excited about that. Then she got to hear a lot of I love you’s from her loved ones. We noticed at the party something seemed a little off with her vision but she never complained. Shortly after we returned home we were going through some of our new treasures, both from Easter and from packages she had received. I was holding up one of the new squishmellows she had received, oh how she loved stuffed animals lol! I was holding it right in front of her face and she kept asking me where it was. She said I can’t see it mommy and then that’s when she reached out and touched it. She realized that she had lost her sight and cried just for a minute. Then like Londyn does she came up with something she could still do to get joy or give us joy. This new found thing was to sing everything she said. She would sing I can’t see so if you want me to take my pills you have to give them to me, because I can’t see now mommy in a comical little way. I had to spoon feed her some spaghetti O’s and bread and she would sing something funny through out supper. So now going back to Sunday night after falling to sleep for a little while it was pill time so we had to wake her. She wasn’t happy about having to take them but after singing about her pills, she was able to get everyone of them down, but not without struggling. I honestly didn’t know if we were going to accomplish all of them but she did it. Some time passed and she had drifted off to sleep. We nudged her and ask if she’d be more comfy in her bed and she said yeah. Then as we lay her in her bed she was talking to God like really talking to God. I had never heard her do this and it wasn’t praying it was full blown conversation. She kept saying God just let me see, if I could just see God. Then the rest I couldn’t understand but she just kept on talking. She was so peaceful talking to him like she could see him right in front of her. We thought at first she was asking for her eye sight but could it have been she was wanting to see into Heaven and God was entertaining her between the transition??!! After that she didn’t wake up the rest of the night or even make a peep. Monday morning justin was going to get breakfast. I asked her do you want a gravy biscuit Londyn usually she would have responded to that super quick but nothing was said. She just slept. Of course me wanting to hear and answer asked a few more times until justin says hunny I don’t think she could eat one like this. He left to go pick up breakfast and I ask her if she wanted moved to the couch in which i got a really quick ugh huh. I got her to the couch and covered her with a comfort blanket. This blanket had been prayed over and I truly feel like the night before when we covered her with it, it truly did comfort her. I turned worship music on and just went about. She wasn’t asking to eat or drink she was just peacefully sleeping. I was worried about her being thirsty so I got a syringe and filled it up with tea. I ask her you want some tea? Ugh huh she said. I would give her s squirt and she would say I don’t like it. Then I would say well do you want some more and she said ugh huh lol! I don’t know if she thought since I was giving it in a syringe maybe she thought it was fixing to be medicine??!! But she got us tickled that one last time. After that there was no more words. Hospice had came to visit and we were debating on moving to the hospice house in Tupelo. Y’all the Hospice team had instruction as well as justin and I had been told that this was going to be a very painful death. That the way her tumors was it was going to be hard. This is why Londyn had to have the port placed because it was thought she was going to have to have multiple pain control available. But God. So our precious hospice nurse Grace was telling us that if we wanted to go to the hospice house she had us a lovely room on hold but we probably needed to decide by this morning just so we would beat the pain that was being anticipated. Londyn did not look yesterday at that time like she was passing but she had not been able to take her meds. Early That morning we had asked if she needed Morphine and she had said ugh huh. Then we had given her one more dose just for precaution. She wasn’t in any pain. Her heart sounded good her vitals were all stable, skin perfect. We had decided though we would try to move on up there last night. Just Incase there was a stroke or the pain got unbearable we would have 24/7 watch. Londyn had other plans though. We had the family come in because we knew once we left we would be up there until she gained her wings. While we waited on family we really laid it out for Greyson and he held her hand and had his meltdown which he needed. While he was holding her hand I thought about a mold kit we had been gifted. I asked justin if he thought we could do it before we left with Greyson holding her hand for the last time. He was nervous but we attempted it and I was so happy we did. After that some family came in and loved on her for a little while. We had our bags packed and ready with plenty of clothes because we had no idea how long we’d be gone for. Londyn still just sleeping as peaceful and pain free as she had been all day. Tiwana another one of the precious hospice had dropped some really strong pain meds off earlier that day just Incase we had to use them. We all talked about how peaceful she was. We got Londyn into the back seat of my car said our goodbyes to everyone and headed out to the hospice house. Justin had the radio on and I told him she didn’t want to hear that she wanted mommy to sing to her. So I started singing her favorite 3 night night songs. Every night when I finally would get in the bed after a long day Londyn would say mommy can you come sing me a night night song. So here I’d go singing. When I left her room Greyson would say I need a song too momma. Of coarse so I’d have to go sing to him as well. Memories to cherish. So first I started singing the lullaby I wrote her as a exhausted new momma that had a new born with colic. Londyn Bear, you are my baby girl I love your little curls I love the way you smile Your only little for a little while Then you’ll grow up. Londyn Bear, I love your blue eyes I’m never gonna want to say goodbye Because your my life Londyn Bear. What’s so unique about this song is the last two lines never fully made since to me until last night. We could hear little gargles and breathing had been getting a little less often. Then I sang Rock me momma, justin tagged right in their with me. Then lastly I sung it’s time for little beauties to close there eyes, it’s time for little beauties to close their eyes and say night night, night night. After that song ended justin had started another one that they had wrote together. At this point I couldn’t hear her anymore so I leaned back to check on her and she was there no more. She had ever so peacefully fell to sleep. God answered our prayer. I had said God if your going to take my baby just take her fast and easy. She went more peacefully then I could have ever imagined. Right in the back seat of her mommas car. Where she had fallen to sleep so many times before. So much peace and comfort filled that car. She had won the race. She had no more scars. She had asked us Sunday morning before the Easter party if there really was no more scars in heaven. We said yep baby just like the song the only scars in heaven is on the one who holds you know. She preceded to tell us she knew what song and poked fun at her daddy starting to sing it. Then she said so this scar on my belly I want have it anymore? And we told her know she would have a completely new body with no blemishes and healthy as can be. I know she was excited to get her new body and I imagined her looking for her scars and then not being there. She would delight in that. I will forever be longing to hold my baby again in this life. I will always have that piece of my heart missing but I have so much comfort in knowing where Londyn’s at right now. That’s her eternal home. No more pain, no more tears. I had told her numerous times the last couple weeks now none of us no when Gods going to take us it might be today, tomorrow or years from now. But if you get sick and you see Jesus standing there, you run to him! You make sure you tell him though that he’s going to have to send some angels to watch over momma because I’m going to be so sad if you got to go before me. But if you do get up there first you get everything ready for us because we are coming soon. We are coming soon. From the bottom of my broken heart I just want to give a sincere Thank you all so so much for the years of love she support and prayers. Y’all there was no pain, God heard us and answered our prayers. She is eternally healed and forever in the presence of God. Praise the Lord