We're so glad you're here! Let me tell you a little about our family and what we are trying to do.
I'm Katie. My husband Dan and I met on my 25th birthday and we never looked away. We were married a year later in our hometown, Savannah, Georgia. We talked about the children we wanted from the beginning and after a few years of marriage that talk turned into an active desire.
In January of 2014 I suffered an unexpected medical crisis and underwent emergency surgery to save my life. One of the long term consequences of this was the loss of my ability to conceive children. After I was physically recovered, Dan and I decided to see a fertility specialist and find out our options. We were told that the likelihood of a successful conception was low, but there was still a chance if we had the courage to take it. Three surgeries, two IVF cycles, dozens of procedures, hundreds of shots, and a staggeringly high medical bill later, our deepest prayers were answered. I was pregnant!
My pregnancy was rocky from the beginning, but we were optimistic. We were fighters and, determined to continue beating the odds, we took every precaution. Despite all of our efforts, I knew something was wrong twenty-four weeks into my pregnancy. I called my doctor and was reassured that the symptoms I was experiencing were normal, but she asked that I leave work and come into the office just to be sure. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for the doctor to determine I was undergoing a second unexpected medical crisis. This time my life was not the only life in jeopardy, but there was very little the doctors could do for us. Our son Connor Joseph was born the next morning on January 21, 2016. He spent his life in our arms, experienced nothing but love, and was taken by God shortly after.
We will mourn Connor for the rest of our lives. But with God’s grace and the incredible compassion showed us by our family and friends, Dan and I have healed the worst of our wounds. We refuse to give up on our desire to raise a family and we’re ready to get back into the fight.
Dan and I had already decided to pursue adoption for Connor’s siblings during my pregnancy. The physical, emotional, and financial cost of fertility treatments combined with my high risk medical situation was not something we were willing to do again. Our stance on that remains firm after losing our son. We are well aware of the risks inherent to adoption. It took a great deal of research and soul searching, but ultimately we decided they are risks we are ready and willing to take. Connor made me a mother and Dan a father. He left a love in our hearts that cannot be contented in this world without another child to share it with. We have so much love, more than we knew was possible, to offer any child in need of a family.
Because of that, Dan are I are excited about this new adventure! We are absolutely committed. Shortly after we made the decision to actively pursue adoption, we realized that we would not be able to do so without taking some drastic measures. Domestic adoption costs begin at $25k and can go up to $40k and beyond. We are perfectly capable of supporting ourselves and raising a family, but we aren’t wealthy. It would have taken us five years or more to save up that kind of money, and that’s before we accrued serious medical bill debt due to the prohibitively high cost of IVF and my unique health situation.
Fortunately, the Lingle and Sullivan families are the best around. Their love and support through our efforts to build a family have been vital. They anticipated being grandparents, aunts, and uncles to Connor with joy and excitement. His loss affected us all. When we announced to them that we were going to adopt, they were thrilled and immediately helped us put together a plan.
At the end of July 2016, Dan and I sold a number of our belongings, packed the rest into a storage unit, and moved into the extra bedroom at the Lingle farm. The money we are saving on rent and other household expenses has been split between paying off our medical bills and our adoption fund. Committed to our goal, I got up the nerve to leave a job of seven years with a company that's been good to me this January. I accepted an exciting position with a new company that provides an increase to our income. And in a few months, Dan and I will be leaving the Lingle farm to move into the Sullivan house. We planned to split our time like this from the beginning in an effort not to place too much of a burden on our parents or overstay our welcome. But I think if they had it their way, we would stay forever! How lucky are we?
I’m delighted to announce that all of our efforts have paid off. Last week, we made the final payment on our medical bills! Even better, we are also in a position with our adoption fund savings to seriously pursue the next steps in the process. We are still a little short, however. Any funds raised here will help defray the adoption attorney’s fees, medical expenses for the expectant mother, and travel costs associated with an interstate adoption.
Initially, Dan and I didn’t plan to fundraise. We didn’t feel comfortable asking for money and were uneasy about the public nature of fundraising. Last Christmas the unexpected kindness of certain family members and a few dear friends changed our mind. We were floored and humbled when the Harrell family (Dan’s maternal grandparents) surprised us with a donation to our adoption fund. Within two weeks of this, we opened our mail to discover checks from a couple of close friends. Imagine our surprise! Soon after, a Sullivan family member snuck a generous cash donation into my pocket. I had no words. And I’m not ashamed to tell you that I wept each time, overcome with gratitude for their love and generosity.
This selfless show of love from our parents, family, and friends has helped Dan and I heal and forced us to understand, deep down in our sometimes stubborn souls, that love doesn’t die. It’s like the poet Merrit Malloy said, “Love doesn’t die, people do. So, when all that’s left of me is love, give me away.”
We want to give our love to a child through adoption and are asking you humbly, with immense gratitude, for your help.
If you aren’t in a position where a monetary donation is the best way to show your support, Dan and I will be equally as grateful for your prayers.
