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I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for those who have donated thus far and helped me to reach my goal so quickly. I want to make a note than any donations that are given beyond the goal amount will go toward Mason’s counseling sessions to help him better cope the struggles he is having.
Family and Friends:
It is with a very humble heart that I am coming to you to ask for help. I have wrestled with this for weeks as it just makes me feel ashamed to even be here, but when I set my pride aside, what I am fighting for is Mason and I am not ashamed to do whatever it takes to help him.
Over the last 3 years, I have been in a continuous legal battle with Mason's biological father Joey. When we originally split, I offered him time with Mason where he would just let me know a few weeks in advance of when he’d like to see Mason and I would make it happen. In exchange for this, I would have full custody and he wouldn't have to pay child support. Initially this worked, but then he decided that he wanted to pursue it in court instead. We went to court July 2016. I was awarded full physical custody and Joey was awarded 1 weekend a month visitation and was not allowed to take Mason out of the state of VA. He was also ordered to pay $422 a month in child support plus over $2500 in back child support. I don’t think it was quite what he hoped for but I was grateful it was behind us. However, it didn’t end there.
Joey has consistently missed his visits, more often than not. In 2018, he only exercised 7 of the 12 visits that he was allowed, often times missing it for things like going to a friend’s wedding or "so he could pay child support," that he never paid. The reality is he continually uses Mason as a pawn in order to try and hurt me. He genuinely has no interest in being a dedicated father. Needless to say the inconsistency of this creates a lot of internal stress and chaos for Mason. He hates being passed off to essentially a stranger. But, again, that can be subjective. What isn’t subjective are the facts:
Joey rarely pays child support. If and when he does pay child support, he only pays $50-$100 at a time and more often than not doesn’t pay anything most months. He currently owes Mason over $10,000 in back-child support and the State of Virginia keeps threatening jail time but when push comes to shove they don’t pursue it.
I know that financially I cannot depend on Joey for any help for Mason. Both Mickey and I work full time to make ends meet and provide for our family. I am also in school working on my Masters Degree in hopes of furthering my career opportunities. The few times I have asked Joey for help with a matter (not financial), he refuses and it lands us back in court.
For example:
In 2017, I was pregnant with Bellamy and Justin was offering to take us on a trip to Mexico or Canada before the baby was born. I asked Joey if he would sign off on the passport form because both parents needed to consent. He told me he would not sign because, "it is unfair that Mason can go on vacation, but cannot come to NC." It took me 1.5 years and court approval to obtain a passport for Mason. July 2018 I was registering Mason for preschool because he really wanted to go to school and have friends. His birth certificate was off with his passport and I asked Joey if he could run by the courthouse or DMV and pick up a copy. I told him I would pay for it and also pay for it to be mailed. He told me that he, "didn't have time and it wasn't his problem." These are just two of the countless examples where he refuses to work with me to put Mason first. Everything is a battle, and in turn, this is only hurting Mason.
Mickey and I have been wanting to move out of Roanoke for better work opportunities and to get closer to family. I am unable to do so without Joey’s consent or a court order. Joey was allowed to move back to NC in 2015 to be closer to his family, but now that I am requesting to move to be closer to family, I am being kept in Roanoke where there is little opportunity. In January I took him back to court to ask for this as well as to as the right to make other decisions without Joey’s permission because he won’t ever just simply work with me. I also wanted to discuss visitation because of the stress and anxiety it causes Mason. Much to everyone’s surprise, my attorney decided to play nice and not use the countless texts, emails and notes from Joey showing the patterns of behavior meant to hurt me and not help Mason. In a split second I felteverything shift. The judge who normally oversees our proceedings, and is privy to Joey’s lack of accountability and manipulative ways, did not hear our case. The new judge is an “old school” believer that it is always in the best interest of the child to see both parents. Because he was not presented with the information, he did not take into account the fact Joey only wants to show up for the fun and never puts in the work of paying to support his son. Joey is a known habitual liar, alcoholic, and drug user. He comes so infrequently and spends so little time with Mason that when he does, it creates an enormous amount of stress and anxiety for Mason. The list goes on, but needless to say, we were all shocked when instead of punishing Joey for not doing what the courts already ordered him to do, he instead rewarded him. Joey was granted out of state visitation, meaning he would now be allowed to take Mason for 4, one week visits out of state to be near Joey's family. The judge did order they aren’t allowed around Mason, but how is that policed when there is no over-site. Joey’s family is comprised of convicted drug addicts and criminals. I have fought tooth and nail to keep them out of Mason’s life from day one. Mason has never been away longer than 48 hours from home and has never been to NC. I believe with my whole heart this would be extremely detrimental to his mental and emotional well-being. I have appealed this decision and we have an upcoming court date in April to take this all to the circuit court. Needless to say, I have hired a more cutthroat attorney who specializes in family law and who will fight for the best interest of Mason. But, she is double the cost of my previous attorney and even working full time, it is a stretch. Mickey and I have both taken on a second job to try and cover our every day expenses,as well as attorney costs. I have leaned on family to help me cover the legal fees prior to this, but things are adding up quickly and I need help. All of a which brings me here.
Anything that you are able to give is a great help in retaining my attorney for the appeal hearing and it is greatly appreciated! I hate I even need to ask, but Mason can’t afford for me to lose this round.
Family and Friends:
It is with a very humble heart that I am coming to you to ask for help. I have wrestled with this for weeks as it just makes me feel ashamed to even be here, but when I set my pride aside, what I am fighting for is Mason and I am not ashamed to do whatever it takes to help him.
Over the last 3 years, I have been in a continuous legal battle with Mason's biological father Joey. When we originally split, I offered him time with Mason where he would just let me know a few weeks in advance of when he’d like to see Mason and I would make it happen. In exchange for this, I would have full custody and he wouldn't have to pay child support. Initially this worked, but then he decided that he wanted to pursue it in court instead. We went to court July 2016. I was awarded full physical custody and Joey was awarded 1 weekend a month visitation and was not allowed to take Mason out of the state of VA. He was also ordered to pay $422 a month in child support plus over $2500 in back child support. I don’t think it was quite what he hoped for but I was grateful it was behind us. However, it didn’t end there.
Joey has consistently missed his visits, more often than not. In 2018, he only exercised 7 of the 12 visits that he was allowed, often times missing it for things like going to a friend’s wedding or "so he could pay child support," that he never paid. The reality is he continually uses Mason as a pawn in order to try and hurt me. He genuinely has no interest in being a dedicated father. Needless to say the inconsistency of this creates a lot of internal stress and chaos for Mason. He hates being passed off to essentially a stranger. But, again, that can be subjective. What isn’t subjective are the facts:
Joey rarely pays child support. If and when he does pay child support, he only pays $50-$100 at a time and more often than not doesn’t pay anything most months. He currently owes Mason over $10,000 in back-child support and the State of Virginia keeps threatening jail time but when push comes to shove they don’t pursue it.
I know that financially I cannot depend on Joey for any help for Mason. Both Mickey and I work full time to make ends meet and provide for our family. I am also in school working on my Masters Degree in hopes of furthering my career opportunities. The few times I have asked Joey for help with a matter (not financial), he refuses and it lands us back in court.
For example:
In 2017, I was pregnant with Bellamy and Justin was offering to take us on a trip to Mexico or Canada before the baby was born. I asked Joey if he would sign off on the passport form because both parents needed to consent. He told me he would not sign because, "it is unfair that Mason can go on vacation, but cannot come to NC." It took me 1.5 years and court approval to obtain a passport for Mason. July 2018 I was registering Mason for preschool because he really wanted to go to school and have friends. His birth certificate was off with his passport and I asked Joey if he could run by the courthouse or DMV and pick up a copy. I told him I would pay for it and also pay for it to be mailed. He told me that he, "didn't have time and it wasn't his problem." These are just two of the countless examples where he refuses to work with me to put Mason first. Everything is a battle, and in turn, this is only hurting Mason.
Mickey and I have been wanting to move out of Roanoke for better work opportunities and to get closer to family. I am unable to do so without Joey’s consent or a court order. Joey was allowed to move back to NC in 2015 to be closer to his family, but now that I am requesting to move to be closer to family, I am being kept in Roanoke where there is little opportunity. In January I took him back to court to ask for this as well as to as the right to make other decisions without Joey’s permission because he won’t ever just simply work with me. I also wanted to discuss visitation because of the stress and anxiety it causes Mason. Much to everyone’s surprise, my attorney decided to play nice and not use the countless texts, emails and notes from Joey showing the patterns of behavior meant to hurt me and not help Mason. In a split second I felteverything shift. The judge who normally oversees our proceedings, and is privy to Joey’s lack of accountability and manipulative ways, did not hear our case. The new judge is an “old school” believer that it is always in the best interest of the child to see both parents. Because he was not presented with the information, he did not take into account the fact Joey only wants to show up for the fun and never puts in the work of paying to support his son. Joey is a known habitual liar, alcoholic, and drug user. He comes so infrequently and spends so little time with Mason that when he does, it creates an enormous amount of stress and anxiety for Mason. The list goes on, but needless to say, we were all shocked when instead of punishing Joey for not doing what the courts already ordered him to do, he instead rewarded him. Joey was granted out of state visitation, meaning he would now be allowed to take Mason for 4, one week visits out of state to be near Joey's family. The judge did order they aren’t allowed around Mason, but how is that policed when there is no over-site. Joey’s family is comprised of convicted drug addicts and criminals. I have fought tooth and nail to keep them out of Mason’s life from day one. Mason has never been away longer than 48 hours from home and has never been to NC. I believe with my whole heart this would be extremely detrimental to his mental and emotional well-being. I have appealed this decision and we have an upcoming court date in April to take this all to the circuit court. Needless to say, I have hired a more cutthroat attorney who specializes in family law and who will fight for the best interest of Mason. But, she is double the cost of my previous attorney and even working full time, it is a stretch. Mickey and I have both taken on a second job to try and cover our every day expenses,as well as attorney costs. I have leaned on family to help me cover the legal fees prior to this, but things are adding up quickly and I need help. All of a which brings me here.
Anything that you are able to give is a great help in retaining my attorney for the appeal hearing and it is greatly appreciated! I hate I even need to ask, but Mason can’t afford for me to lose this round.