When you think about saying goodbye to your baby, you think about sending them off to their first play date. Their first day of school. Their first day of work.

You don’t think that after 40 weeks of a healthy pregnancy and a healthy growing baby, you’d be sending your full term baby off to the funeral parlor after kissing her goodbye after only spending the shortest 12 hours with her.

Jemma Jaedelle Gargiulo was born on December 16, 2019 at 11:26pm weighing in at 8lbs 9.6oz and 21 inches long~~~ with a still, non beating heart.

In these moments, time stood still. What happened in those 4 hours? Between being in maternity hooked up to a stress test listening to the strongest heart beat, to going into labor and being told ‘we can’t find a heart beat?’

Nothing will ever make sense. All Mike and I know is that we created the most beautiful, sweet, perrrrrfect little angel- full of red hair that mama is OBSESSING over. You’re so, so loved Jemma J, and I pray you remember how much I needed you.

& to Mike- I hope you know how much I love you. And how much more I love you now seeing what an incredible new father you are and what a gorgeous creation we did make.

I’ll forever miss you, my first daughter. Mommy and daddy are so grateful for the time we did get to spend with you. Show heaven what you’re made of. ��