Lauren’s Adoption of Her Own Children

In Wisconsin same sex marriage is legal, but married couples of the same sex ironically do not reap the same benefits of marriage. When speaking about having a family, the parent that does not birth the child, has no legal rights over the child they helped create (this is true in many other states, as well). Anyone that knows Lauren knows that she was very involved in helping create the kids. Once Rumi arrived, it was apparent that she was equally a mother though she had not birthed her. She gives her children all of her love. They do not share her DNA, but in every sense of the word she is their mother.

Lauren currently cannot make any medical or financial decisions for her daughters. They cannot be added to her insurance policy. She cannot sign consent papers for the kids at the doctor’s office. When Rumi enrolls in school, she cannot sign any of the necessary documents. This affects nearly every facet of the logistics of just living a life as a “normal” family. If Moira were to (God forbid) pass away, Lauren would not automatically get guardianship of Rumi and Willa. She would need to go to court to obtain guardianship from Moira’s next of kin. For all the above reasons, she needs to formally adopt the girls. This is the last step to officially complete their family. Please consider giving to help Moira and Lauren understand that their community fully supports them and acknowledges this injustice.

The adoption agency has many steps and requirements including a home visit, letters of reference to ensure Lauren is a fit mother, and an extensive health, criminal, and financial background check. The cost of this is around $2,000. This is very invasive. Of note, heterosexual couples that use sperm donors do not need to adopt their children though they are not biologically theirs. The attorney fees will be an additional $1500 plus filing fees for court. They also need to pay to legally change Rumi’s birth certificate, since 3 years ago Lauren had to add herself as the “Father.” Another slap in the face to someone who has only wanted to be a mother since she was little. Thankfully, the birth certificate for Willa had the option for Parent/Parent versus Mother/Father.

Any help you can provide would be put directly towards the adoptions. Any additional funds received will go directly to another LGBTQ+ family who have tried for several years to conceive a child and have spent several thousands of dollars to do so. They are also in need of funds to adopt their child. If you cannot provide monetary support, we hope that you’ve learned a bit more about the challenges and barriers the LGBTQ+ community still face. And we hope that you can participate in any activity, large or small, for Pride Month this June. We truly appreciate your support and are thankful for our community of family and friends who have reached out to help us with this final legality to become an official family of four!