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In Martha's words:
Those of you who are parents - have you ever feared for your ability to be there for your children? Feared that someone would deny you the ability to make decisions for or care for your child? Chances are, if you identify as LGBT you have but otherwise most of you haven't.
Those of you who haven't - imagine having to give up all parental rights and have your child be a ward of the state in order to have those rights equally with your partner. For even a moment - it is too long. But this is what we have to do now, thanks to Trump.
A little less than a month before Rebekah was born in 2009 Martha and I traveled (with her huge belly) to New Haven to get married at the city hall because NY had just ruled that they would recognize same sex marriages from other states.
After she was born, even though NY state recognized me as her mother, most other states did not so Tommy and Martha both had to give up their rights as her legal parents and then Martha and I had to adopt her. A few thousand dollars, a home study, a court date and a heart-wrenching moment between the judge signing one paper and the next, when Rebekah was a ward of the state, and then Martha and I were both recognized as her mothers, a protection that would be hard for any state to deny.
By the time Cat came along, I was automatically put on her birth certificate and soon after, same sex marriages were recognized across the country so there wasn't a need for me to adopt her.
But now Trump and Pence have pledged to roll back the legal protections accorded to us and the majority of the legal community working in LGBT issues recommends that in order to protect my rights, we must now complete that process again.
So now my child, who I have dreamed of and loved since before her conception, whose heartbeat I felt within minutes of her birth, who I have raised with Martha for five years, who is now of an age that occasionally she tells me she hates me... now I must adopt her. Martha and I must pay another few thousand dollars, provide a complete history of our residences for the past 28 years, employment history for the last ten, detail any physical or mental health problems, undergo another home study to ensure that the home she has lived in her whole life is appropriate. And then, assuming all goes smoothly, we'll get a court date and have to breathe through that moment when Cat is not ours at all before she is again both of ours.
It angers me. It says to me that our family is not recognized. It says that I am less.
Friends, Families, and Allies...please support Martha, Martha and girls as they do what they need to do to protect their family from the potential threats of the Trump administration.
Those of you who are parents - have you ever feared for your ability to be there for your children? Feared that someone would deny you the ability to make decisions for or care for your child? Chances are, if you identify as LGBT you have but otherwise most of you haven't.
Those of you who haven't - imagine having to give up all parental rights and have your child be a ward of the state in order to have those rights equally with your partner. For even a moment - it is too long. But this is what we have to do now, thanks to Trump.
A little less than a month before Rebekah was born in 2009 Martha and I traveled (with her huge belly) to New Haven to get married at the city hall because NY had just ruled that they would recognize same sex marriages from other states.
After she was born, even though NY state recognized me as her mother, most other states did not so Tommy and Martha both had to give up their rights as her legal parents and then Martha and I had to adopt her. A few thousand dollars, a home study, a court date and a heart-wrenching moment between the judge signing one paper and the next, when Rebekah was a ward of the state, and then Martha and I were both recognized as her mothers, a protection that would be hard for any state to deny.
By the time Cat came along, I was automatically put on her birth certificate and soon after, same sex marriages were recognized across the country so there wasn't a need for me to adopt her.
But now Trump and Pence have pledged to roll back the legal protections accorded to us and the majority of the legal community working in LGBT issues recommends that in order to protect my rights, we must now complete that process again.
So now my child, who I have dreamed of and loved since before her conception, whose heartbeat I felt within minutes of her birth, who I have raised with Martha for five years, who is now of an age that occasionally she tells me she hates me... now I must adopt her. Martha and I must pay another few thousand dollars, provide a complete history of our residences for the past 28 years, employment history for the last ten, detail any physical or mental health problems, undergo another home study to ensure that the home she has lived in her whole life is appropriate. And then, assuming all goes smoothly, we'll get a court date and have to breathe through that moment when Cat is not ours at all before she is again both of ours.
It angers me. It says to me that our family is not recognized. It says that I am less.
Friends, Families, and Allies...please support Martha, Martha and girls as they do what they need to do to protect their family from the potential threats of the Trump administration.
Organizer and beneficiary
Martha Alexander
Beneficiary