Joe and I have always dreamed of having a larger family, but due to my health it's just not possible. I already struggle significantly with my health on a day to day basis, and if I were to get pregnant myself the doctors cannot guarantee either of us (myself or the baby) would survive. Joe and I did speak briefly about trying for a baby on our own, but we quickly decided against it as it's not fair to Joe and Madison to potentially lose their wife and mother, and not fair to myself to be even sicker than I already am (or even to fear for my life) all just so I can carry another baby myself. Joe and I would also like to adopt one day if my health allows for a third child, however we would like one more child that is biologically ours. And that's how we came to the decision to go through with surrogacy.
Although my health obviously plays a big part in our ability to have children naturally, and it without a doubt affect our everyday life, we have an excellent support network of family and friends in place and we are absolutely thrilled at the prospect of adding another member to our family. It will undoubtedly present its challenges, some of which will be unique to our situation however we are prepared to undertake them as they arise, and believe that adding another little one to our family is more than worth whatever it will bring! The benefits will far outweigh the challenges as far as we are concerned.
Unfortunately surrogacy does bring with it some costs that are not normally associated with having children. Thankfully, the Ontario health insurance (OHIP) covers most of the initial expenses, including consultations, testing and implantation. However there are some things that are not covered, such as our lawyer fees and subsequent implantations if the first and second attempts do not take. We have done some searching around, called several lawyers and firms that provide these sorts of services, and the cost for legal fees will be approximately $4500.
We are asking you to help our dreams come true.
We know that some of you may have questions, may not understand our decision making process, or may feel that if we cannot afford the legal fees at this time we perhaps shouldn’t be going ahead with this. We are open to private discussions with any of you (as long as the conversations remain respectful), and answering your questions should you have any. Ultimately, it boils down to the reality that we can't financially make surrogacy happen on our own at the moment due to the fact that I have taken a drastic cut in pay while being on disability.
On that note, we will gratefully and thankfully accept whatever help you are able to give. Whether it be financial donation, prayer support, positive thoughts, practical support or some other means of support, it is all welcome as we continue to move towards our dream of growing our family and making that reality! Lastly, regardless of whether or not you are able to help in any other way, if you can please share this page, we would appreciate it immensely!
Lastly, please know that this decision did not come easily. Surrogacy isn't something we probably would have chosen under different circumstances, but we are obviously extremely grateful to have it available to us. This inability to have additional children has been one of the most heartbreaking things we've had to deal with due to my health situation, but we're so thankful that we at least have a way to grow our family. We will be forever grateful if you can help make this happen for us. Thank-you.
Carm, Joe & Maddie