You'll find love when you least expect it. That's what happened to us ten years ago. And some how, we've kept it together all this time. We've had our ups and downs, but I think we are that couple that grows stronger every time the world tries to knock us down.  He's my rock. I am the calm to his storm.
Motherhood began for me at the tender age of 15. My 19 year old boyfriend didn't stick around to help. Luckily I have a small but solid supportive family. Once the fear of pregnancy wore off, I loved every second of it. I remember the moment I felt her first kick, and I cried because it was the most amazing thing in the world! I made great improvements in my life and vowed to be the best I could be for her. 16years later I'm still trying to live up to the promise, and I will continue the rest of my life. 
I didn't want to be a teen mom more than once, but I've always wanted lots of kids. When Scott and I got pregnant we were ecstatic! Couldn't wait to start planning for this new person that ties our family together. 
A month later, we lost the baby. We waited 3 months and tried again. BoOM! it worked immediately!! Wow I thought we were pretty lucky, but was a lil worried now... after a few weeks, I had some pain on my side and shoulder. The ultrasound showed an ectopic pregnancy. 
This process happened over and over and over...
We have lost 6 pregnancies. SIX!  
3 misscarriages, and 3 confirmed ectopic pregnancies, one was treated with Methotrexate-which is a form of chemo and really makes you feel like crap for days!!! The other 2 had to be surgically removed. I watched their hearts beat on the ultrasound screen, and after all I've been through, I could see they weren't where they should have been. 
I had to sign papers to "abort" those three babies... because technically that's what it is. I was given a choice: Bleed internally and die, or make that tiny heart I just watched beating die... 
I thought how ironic... at 15 years old, I got pregnant on birth control, the first time!! How was my body able to do that so easily and so readily.. Why was I able to get pregnant so quickly so many other times, but now that I was ready my body was broken. 
That last pregnancy.. took a year to achieve. A whole year of trying. 12 long months, 12 times of hoping this would be it. It happened. And just as quickly, it was gone.. and so were my chances of ever doing it again... The one thing a woman's body was made to do and mine wouldn't do it. Never again. 
I have been through so many phases of grieving and depression. I've dragged my family through all of this pain with me.. I've felt the guilt for hurting each one of them because my body has failed. 
So after all of this.. we can have IVF. If we can afford it. I have spent the last 6years trying to figure out how to do this.. It costs at least $10k.. then about $3k for meds. For ONE try. Then all the missed work and the pregnancy and maternity leave and all the stuff that comes after if it works... Not to mention supporting our family in the mean time. I cannot take away from a child I have to attempt to create a child that I may never have. We also have a 6year old foster son that we've been caring for over 5years. We can't just work more hours to earn more. We've cut our budget as much as we can. And every time we make any progress, something happens. Car breaks, or stuff in the house breaks. Always. Every year it's something else.
We have even entered contests, and gone to conferences to win a free IVF cycle. But we never get picked. And I end up crushed.. needing weeks just to get my brain right.
I think it's time we ask for help. We just want a chance. To tie our family together. To acquire a child made from my husband and I, and to share the intimacy of pregnancy with eachother. To share the joy of a new baby with our family. My little boy is even saving all his change to buy us a baby. 
We aren't expecting all of it. But anything will help. Every dollar will go a long way to help build our family!! This time, we can do it. We can make it happen. We have the whole world in front of us. 
Please support us and help fund our baby!!

Thank you. 
Xoxo
Scott & Jessi Kraemer & family

fruitlesspredicament.blogspot.com