It’s completely against my nature to ever ask for help. I’m sad to say that I have reached a point of desperation and impasse where I’m forced to choose between asking for help, and keeping my family apart for an unforeseeable number of months purely because of pride. We’re trying to raise what feels like an insurmountable £10,000 so that our family can be together again. As Inigo Montoya once said, “Let me explain. No there is too much. Let me sum up…”

In 2016, I moved to the USA to remarry. It was going to be temporary, while Rachel got established as a teacher, then we would move back to the UK and transfer over her teaching license. Then I discovered nursing and completed a three year degree. At some point we blinked, and suddenly eight years had gone by. We were SO long overdue to go back. My kids were still in England, and though Zoom calls are wonderful, and helped to keep me sane, you only need to spend five minutes with these kids to understand why being so far away for so long was tearing me apart inside.

So, I took travel nurse assignments and we saved up, and with that and Rachel’s inheritance, I moved back to the UK in April 2025, having spent many hours researching family visas, requirements, British nursing licenses etc. According to all the intell we had gathered, Rachel and Thomas should have joined me this past September. We expected challenges and red tape, but we were not emotionally or financially prepared for what has followed.

The visa website was extremely misleading, and the "helpline" is no help at all. I found a job which earned enough to satisfy their income requirements, but halfway through the application, it now wanted "several months" of payslips to prove it's real (they won't tell me how many). The type of visa we were told to apply for is also the wrong one. The correct one is four times as expensive and takes significantly longer to process. More delays.

The next step is to own or rent a home that’s big enough to house us. This has proven very difficult because after living in the US for eight years, my British credit score is dreadful, so I fail the credit check done by rental agencies. That limits me to word of mouth home rentals and, on top of everything else, have had four attempts to scam me.

Because we were expecting Rachel and Thomas to move over in September, Rachel’s teaching contract ended in the summer. My job is going well now, but we both ended up living off our savings for a lot longer than expected. The long and the short of it is that Rachel is now employed but struggling to pay the bills on her end, and I’m struggling to save more than few hundred a month over here. At this rate, it will be another two years nearly before we can afford to be together again.

The visas – yes, plural, because I have to apply for Rachel and Thomas separately – will cost around £8,000. And then there’s the flights over, and although we’ve pared it down to a bare minimum, we still have personal stuff that we’d like to ship over to make our future house into our home.

My kids need their Dad closer, and able to be a bigger part of their lives than was possible in recent years. Thomas needs his siblings, who he is growing to love and misses a lot. Rachel and I need to be together. We got married because we loved each other deeply, and I’m very happy to say that we still do!

We’ve been apart for seven months now, and it’s essentially just a lack of money that’s keeping us apart, because the original savings are now gone. I’m also desperately keen to get the applications submitted before Christmas when Thomas turns 18, because I would absolutely hate for them to grant Rachel a visa, but decide that Thomas is now an adult, so he can stay in the US. It’s just yet another stress on top of the huge pile.

I would rather stay up all night listening to your worries, than ever burden you with mine. I think there are a million better things you could do with your money than help us, but if you did feel inclined to help, I would be grateful to you forever and a day. It’s been an incredibly challenging seven months already, and it will be at least April before Rachel and Thomas could come due to visa processing times. But if they were actually able to come in April, with no further delays, that would be the most wonderful thing ever.

Thank you so much for even thinking about helping us. If you want to help but can’t donate, please feel free to pass this on to your kind rich friends!

Blessings, love and wonderful things upon you, always!