In 2024, I moved from my little house in the city to a small off-grid homestead with the man I had fallen deeply in love with to build our own home together and secure something real for ourselves in the world amidst societal upheaval and uncertainty.

Because fuck the system that keeps people lazy, complacent, in fear, and trapped. Let's break free from that, build our own thing our own way, and then teach other people how to do the same.

Falling in love with him was a mystical experience. I know that sounds corny AF, but it was. This was unlike anything I'd ever known or knew was possible. This partnership has unearthed aspects of myself that I didn't know existed and broken down walls that I didn't know I had. He shows me how to embody my most authentic self, free from all the defense mechanisms I've built along the way, and proves to me that I can actually trust another person, enter a real partnership, and let go of the false sense of hyper-independence that holds me back. It's a difficult transformation, but I'm making progress.

He had a successful business in the area which would be sufficient income for us while I made my transition. On moving day, I had a major health crisis which required multiple hospital visits and a long recovery. He cared for me throughout, and while he was on medical leave, his business partner stole from us and managed to steal and destroy the business.

We adapted, pivoted, started a new business together, and moved forward. Since the beginning of this homestead project, trial after trial has come at us financially, physically, and emotionally. The adjustment has been hard, but we have continued to struggle through each obstacle and persevere.

Our new business was thriving, and the future looked prosperous. In October, we had a major project that we had devoted a huge time slot and nearly all of our attention to. All parties were on the same page throughout months of discussion. It was a very exciting project. The day before we left for Ohio, all terms were agreed upon. The next day, the client inexplicably canceled the project.

Since then, work is just not coming in. We've both been taking anything and everything we can find since October, and it's just not there. I've been traveling back to the city more often trying to rustle up anything I can find, and it's not enough.

We've depleted all our savings trying to get by with the thought that enough work would come because it always has. But this time it hasn't.

We've run out of options and are at risk of losing everything we've worked toward.

He has tech skills that are potentially very profitable and has been working on some marketable projects on the computer he built. But in our current position, he wants to sell it, rendering him unable to remain relevant in that field and unlikely to ever afford this type of high-end system again given the recent drastic increase in the price of the components. I think the opportunity possible here should not be lost.

I have been looking to sell my guns or anything at all of value I may have, and resale prices won't even make a dent. I'm seriously considering doing the only thing I know in this situation to try to make money as quickly as we need it. And that's not legal, safe, or healthy for me.

Our immediate need is to cover past due and rapidly upcoming bills. The two of us can cover all of our commitments, car payment, insurance, phone, internet, housing, food, gas, etc., for just under $3,000 a month. We need to buy some time to give us the opportunity to pivot intelligently to something more sustainable given current market conditions while not in emergency crisis mode and losing everything in the process. $6,000 would buy us two months of financial security, buying us the time needed to get back on our feet and the lead time for new ventures to start seeing profit.

Our intermediary need is for the start-up costs to diversify our income stream so that we can remain solvent even through bad economic times with our primary work so that this never happens again.

We have a backhoe that needs some minor repairs. With that working, we can both offer our services with it and prep our land to grow and sell a product that is locally grown and not currently offered by anyone else: culinary and medicinal mushrooms. (No, not that kind.)

We have contacts throughout Colorado and in particular our local community who would carry our product. Locally grown produce is in high demand, nobody else near us is doing it, and start-up is cheap.

The backhoe repairs, if done by us, will cost $310 in parts.

The startup cost for the mushroom growing operation will cost $370.

We were in the process of purchasing a homestead work truck for the property from a friend that would be ideal for assisting in the growing operation for $3,000, but we can always back out of that and lug stuff around by hand with wheelbarrows.

We are at risk of having to sell a portion of the homestead plot. We owe $14,000 on the section we had reserved for building an income property to add an income stream and secure at least a partial retirement eventually. This was most exciting for me as the rest of our land belongs to his family trust, and as such, I've had difficulty connecting with it as truly my home. This annex portion would not only ensure we remain solvent but would give me a sense of security and ownership in this homestead project that I've been desperately lacking. If we can't at least come up with $5,000 toward this payment, we'll have to sell it immediately and repay the loan.

I think this is an important project not only for us but for others to see that it's possible and to learn and be inspired. Once we are able to begin building our actual home, which can start as soon as the backhoe is fixed, we will be filming the process along the way and posting to a YouTube channel so others can learn the mix of alternative and traditional building materials and methods that can be utilized to build a strong, lasting, and affordable home in a time when many have been priced out of home ownership.

I hate asking for help with anything, let alone at this level. I was raised to make it on my own and only rely on myself. I've always considered this a strength, but it turns out in some cases it's also a weakness. I feel embarrassed and vulnerable doing this, but it's my only shot at saving the life I've been building. So I'm standing in front of my community and saying, “I need help. Will you please help me?”