Kimberly and Scott - You are loved.

Hello! My name is Kelly Hildre and I'm creating this fundraiser on behalf of my very dear friend Kimberly Vanheuveln and her dad, Scott. They're both very private, proud and stubborn people but Kimberly has agreed to allow me to tell some of their story in order to find some support in her dad's final days. Their story is one of suffering but also one of deep resilience and I hope you'll find it in your heart to donate.

Due to complications from diabetes, Scott is a double amputee and although his health began to decline in 2014 - he remained quite active. In 2021, he was in a terrible car accident that had injured his kidneys. It was at that time that doctors discovered a renal mass and began dialysis, and he's remained on dialysis since that time. Unfortunately, pursuing care for the renal mass was not high on his priority list(he is stubborn by nature and has never liked doctors) and his health continued to decline. To complicate things, Scott fell victim to major financial fraud in December of 2022. Kimberly took over emergency conservatorship to prevent him from losing his home and finances entirely. In March of 2023, Kimberly was granted Guardianship of her dad to manage his care due to his complicated medical needs and a diagnosis of Dementia. In August of 2023, it was determined by medical professionals that he could no longer care for himself and required secure, 24 hour medical monitoring and care. Not only was it an impossible decision to move him out of his home, but it was followed by months of trying to find a facility willing and able to meet his complex medical and cognitive needs. In addition to the dialysis, Scott has struggled with delusions and extreme behavior due to the Dementia - all of which made securing a facility a near impossibility.

Thanks to Kimberly's relentless perseverance and the help of doctors and medical social workers - Scott was placed in a facility close enough to allow Kimberly to continue to manage his care in October of 2023. Since that time, Kimberly and her dad have attended dozens and dozens of medical appointments, 9 in-patient hospitalizations, and 3 ER visits since November of 2023 alone.

Last week, it was determined that the Renal Cell Carcinoma has metastasized and he will now transition to end of life care. His life expectancy at this time is less than 1 year, but Kimberly is determined to make his time left here on earth as blissful as humanly possible. Scott is only 66 years old. Their relationship has had it's challenges over the years, however despite his intensive guardianship needs - the last year has given them the opportunity to mend old wounds. Anyone who has cared for someone with Dementia knows that the disease can alter personalities, and although Kimberly has made every difficult decision with the support of doctors and nothing but compassion in her heart - it has rarely been met with gentleness or gratitude due to the brutal nature of Dementia.

All this to say, Kimberly's dad's needs have taken a great toll on her life and wellbeing. Kimberly has worked full time as a Clinical Social Worker with the Department of Veteran Affairs for many years and had taken on a second job working in Private Practice due to the financial toll of caring for her dad. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the work and the extreme physical and emotional strain Kimberly was under she was recently forced to close her private practice in the best interest of her clients. Her colleagues and supervisor at the VA have been astoundingly supportive, however she relies on FMLA to maintain her job and has been forced to miss an average of 1-3 days per week, unpaid, during her dad's recent medical decline. She ran out of paid leave months ago and despite generous leave donations, her dad's needs have not allowed her to bank any further PTO.

This is the time when I humbly ask, if not beg, for your support. Kimberly and her dad are strong, so incredibly strong, but we all need a village. Kimberly will continue to miss more and more work as her dad's vibrant life on this earth comes to an end, and I want to ensure that she has a life to return to when he's called Home. She is struggling to make ends meet and although raising her boys as a single mom has taught her how to stretch a penny - help is needed at this time.

Kimberly has done nothing but work and care for her dad since October 2023. Even if she had the time for desperately needed self care, the funds aren't there.

I know it's likely stated on every page on this website - but anything you can give truly does make a difference. Those that love Kimberly and her dad will make sure that her heart and soul is cared for through this next chapter and we need your help to make sure that her home and future are also protected. The last year has been one of absolute pain and suffering, please find it in your hearts to show Kimberly that although she has faced this on her own she will never, ever be alone in this world.

Donations will be used to support Kimberly and the family during Scott's final days, allowing her to be with him as well as to meet her basic needs during this difficult time. If you prefer Venmo, feel free to send it to @Kimberly-VanHeuveln

Update April 3, 2024:

We're at 18% of our goal! "Dad was able to spend time at his home over the Easter weekend, he was very happy with that and sadly made the choice to have his dog, Max return home with Terry- as it's too hard for Dad to care for him now. If this continues to go well, he can spend more time there as he's nearing end of life. He is starting physical therapy next week to gain some strength in his legs to help prevent falls. A palliative care consult is scheduled for next week and he has already made some major end of life decisions for himself recently. Thank you so much for all your love, support, kindness, and donations. We appreciate it all so much. Dad continued to struggle with and grasp all of the information and is saddened by this diagnoses. This has been a hard road for him. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.” -Kimberly

Kimberly did receive another large PTO donation of 30hrs and she is so ever grateful for this.