7 years ago, Matt and I decided to start trying to make our own little family, after being together for around 4 years. For 2 years we tried to get pregnant and just when we thought all hope was lost and were going to ask for help, we caught with Kye. We were ecstatic! I had the most normal, lovely pregnancy and we planned for the baby's arrival, although we did not yet know the sex.
It was 5 days before my due date when my waters broke and 4 days before he was due it was time to go to hospital. After around 13 hours, it was decided that my labour was not progressing enough and I was transferred to the consultant lead ward where they struggled to locate Kye's heartbeat and I had to have an emergency caesarean section immediately. They struggled to get him out as he was stuck and when he was eventually born he was in very bad condition, he was fitting each time they touched him and he had to be intubated. 4 days later we lost our little baby boy Kye at 4 days old, due to hospital negligence.
There were quite a few issues on reflection but the main thing was that Kye's heartbeat was not monitored correctly. The cord wasnt around his neck when he was born, but he had been starved of oxygen to the point that his brain didnt work. He didnt open his eyes, he didnt cry, he didnt move. The postmortem revealed that he would have been a normal healthy baby. It was ruled by the coroner that had the quality of care been better, Kye would likely have survived. Losing a baby is indescribable. We were broken people. Our hopes for a family of our own had been shattered and our hearts were ripped from our chests, but we still wanted our own little family.
Kye had passed away but we had to continue existing and eventually we picked each other up and carried on with our lives, although as you can imagine, the pain of Kye's loss never leaves us.
Over the past 5 years we have continued to try and start a family of our own, but without sucess. I'm getting older and so we decided last year that perhaps it was time to ask for some help. We went to the Dr's, got referred for fertility treatment and had some tests. The findings showed that we had unexplained infertility, however I was also suffering with diminished ovarian reserve, which means that I may not have many eggs left. So they said we could start treatment at the start of 2020, which was free on the NHS.
The first round didnt go as planned and my body released the eggs before they could get to them. The second round we got to the stage where they thought they could collect eggs but when they went in to get them, the same thing had happened.
So they 3rd time round they tried a different protocol and we finally got some eggs. Due to my condition, I dont produce many eggs and so there were just 4 to collect. Luckily all 4 eggs developed into good quality embryos, the 2 best ones were implanted and the other 2 continued to develop to see if they were suitable for freezing. The 2 week wait to find out if the embryos had stuck ensued and a few days into that we found out that our other 2 embryos werent good enough quality to freeze so if the embryos didnt stick, this was our one and only free chance. The embryos didnt stick.
Since starting this journey, I have discovered that more people than I realised have troubles starting a family of their own. But for those that dont know what its like, its hard to imagine the monthly sorrow that grips you deep inside each month when you find out that you still didnt make a baby. To understand the mental, emotional and physical toll that undergoing fertility treatment takes on a person, on a couple and even on their family and friends. And to have had our only child taken away from us so tragically and unnecesarily when we could have had our own little 5 year old boy bouncing around now, just makes it all the more difficult to swallow.
So now, at 38 years old time is running out for us and there is nothing more in this whole entire world that we want than to have a family of our own.
I'll be totally honest before you contribute; the chances of me getting pregnant, even with the help of IVF are slim. But they are even slimmer with the cost of IVF being so high.
For 2 cycles, not including medication, the cost is £6600. I've been advised that my medication cost is likely to be around £2000 per cycle as I was on the highest level for my previous cycles. So there's a minimum of £10,600 straight away. On top of that, should I need any extra blood tests or scans out of the ordinary cycle (which I have needed on 2 of the 3 cycles I had previously) they are around £2-300 each, plus the cost of extra medications. If we want/need endometreal scratch, embryo glue, embyroscope, or freezing, this is all extra. Then there's the cost of all the vitamins that I need to take to improve my egg quality, of which there are around 10 different kinds, the most expensive being £20 for a pack of 60, which I need to take 3 times a day. So you get the gist.
I am a very private person. I initially only wanted my family and close friends to know that we were going through this. I dont like attention, I dont like people to feel sorry for me and I dont like to make anyone feel uncomfortable when I speak about my experiences. And I absolutely hate asking others for money, so the decision to create this fundraiser has not been taken lightly. We really truly need help.
We understand that this year has not been easy for anyone and that Chistmas is coming so the timing is awful to be asking for help, but unfortunately time is something that I dont think I have a lot of and so I have no choice but to act now. They want the whole amount up front for the 2 cycles and once thats paid we can book in. Then the clinic will bill us up front for the medications as well, so we need a minimum of £8600 up front and we just dont have this kind of money lying around. ANYTHING. Anything at all that you can spare we will be so eternally grateful for.
Thank you for reading and even if you cant help, I would ask that you please share this for your friends, family and colleagues to read. There is no kindness like the kindness of strangers
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