Please consider helping our mom! Funds raised will be used for her rent, to prepare her house for sale, and to help with the short sale of her car. While our goal is $3,000, please know that any extra will be used to help with other expenses she has or put into savings. We have included so much here about what happened to her over the last 8 months and encourage you to read if you have time.

For as long as we can remember our mom has given what she could to anyone she knew. She worked for years in the Caesar Rodney School District first as a substitute and then as a teacher in the Charlton program, she worked as a preschool teacher both at St. John’s Early Learning Center and The Little School, before that she taught at Holy Cross. She was a teacher of the year for her school and still keeps tabs on her students and their success. Making a difference in the lives of others has always been important to her. She has also been a fighter. She worked hard to support the two of us through school and college, she beat Breast Cancer in the fall of 2009 and eventually bought her own house.


This is where you come in and we appreciate you reading this far. For Mom’s whole story please see below, but leave yourself 10 minutes to read. For the past four months, we have been able to sustain her stay with her monthly income, savings, by liquidating assets, holding 10 yard sales, and selling items on Facebook marketplace. we have sold as much as we can that is able to be, and have run out of funds. Both of us have done all we can and will continue to do what we can. Elise spent much of her summer sorting through Mom's house and is managing all of Mom's finances. Lesley continues to take mom to appointments and makes sure she has what she needs for her apartment. We both have full-time jobs and have sacrificed time and care of our own homes and families to help care for and raise money for Mom, but that is what family does. Many have asked what they can do to help, and this is it if you can. 

We are reaching out in hopes of raising enough money for a few more months in Assisted Living, to cover the short sale of her car,  to rent a dumpster to finish cleaning out her home and to cover a few smaller repairs before putting the house on the market. 

We realize that fundraisers and other charities may take priority, but we are hoping you may be able to help someone who has given her whole life without asking for much in return. She and we never saw this coming, but are thankful for the miracle that kept her here and becoming stronger every day. We will continue to do all we can and just ask if you have a little to spare to please consider helping our mom to finish her last few months in assisted living before she works to be independent again. ❤️

Mom's Story

In February of 2019 Mom fell and the journey she went on for the next four months was a roller coaster of emotions for her and us. It started with a phone call with Lesley later in the evening on February 22nd. She was not making sense, was slurring her words, and was having moments of not remembering things. Darrell, Lesley's husband, was out and stopped by to find a disoriented mom. The ambulance was called and she was admitted to the hospital that night and went through a weekend of friends and family visiting. We didn't leave her side. Elise and Jason spend the night and Monday was the first day when everyone returned to work. She was diagnosed with severe dehydration and malnutrition and was released on her own accord with the instructions to eat better. We would constantly talk to mom about her health, we saw or talked to her every day, and always expressed concern about her weight. However, she wanted to be home and continue her recovery there, so we worked to schedule a visiting nurse. Lesley returned to work on Tuesday and Elise stayed with mom and returned to work on Wednesday. 

On late Wednesday morning, the visiting nurse could not get mom to come to the door  Elise left work and got into the house where they found mom on the floor seemingly unconscious. The nurse thankfully was able to perform    CPR. We know she must have fallen in the evening as all the lights were on and her doggie was not in his bed. An ambulance was called and she was rushed to the hospital.  She had been up and moving around, pretty much herself, but tired when we said goodbye on Tuesday evening. The doctors asked about her will and DNR. She was not ready for this and neither were we.

Mom was admitted to the hospital again, and over the next two days opened her eyes, began to talk, and got some of her motor functions back but was very weak. She could not walk and it was even hard to feed herself. She had every test in the book done and was finally diagnosed in the early stages of Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, a form of dementia. Caught early enough, many of the symptoms could be reversed, but had it gone on further, we will not fill in the rest. While my mother is not a drinker, she was constantly questioned about this as it is one of the main causes of the syndrome. Being severely malnourished and having a lack of B1 or Thiamine is the actual cause of this syndrome in her case. Her brain was shutting down due to a lack of essential nutrients. They began a Thiamine regime and it helped her mental state immensely. Pallative care was called in, which scared us, but it was more so to begin setting goals. Mom wanted to go to Milford’s new Rehab facility because of its stellar reputation. She got her hair cut, worked with OT and PT and was cleared to be transferred to Milford. 

From the moment she arrived, we began talking to doctors and were involved in her recovery plan. Unfortunately, the doctor's orders concerning medicine to prevent the advancement of the syndrome were not followed and paired with an internal bleed from a tear in her back, she was transferred to the actual hospital after only a few days of rehab activities. Several of you came to see her in Milford and witnessed first hand the delusions and person who was not the woman we all knew. Her niece Lorna sat with her for dinner one evening and gave us a needed break, and was able to humor mom's delusions. 

We were again at a loss, which, just a warning, will be a repeated theme. Being 30 minutes away, running out of days off, and working full time made it impossible for us to be there every minute. Elise was even told by the hospital doctor that he could not talk to her every day. Why would facilities turn away families that are just trying to be informed and there for a loved one? Her doctor did not have hospital privileges in Milford so we began trying to find programs around the country for her syndrome and were hoping to transfer her to Philadelphia where she could be treated as the syndrome was advancing. At the least, we wanted to transfer her back to Dover at least so her doctor could see her again. In the midst of all this, the Neurologist from Kent who had treated my mom paid her a visit one afternoon. He had been seeing another patient and thought to just to check her progress.  He was furious that orders had not been followed, began a regiment of thiamine again, and mom became well enough to be transferred to Acute Rehab at Eden Hill, a few minutes from the hospital and us. This is the second time we almost lost her, and we will never send her or any family member to Milford again.


After arriving at Eden Hill on a Friday and getting her settled, we were dismayed when we found out the doctor in Milford had again changed orders, remember, we would never recommend Milford to our worst enemy. The doctor at Eden Hill saw what mom needed, but could not get the Thiamine in fast enough due to a national shortage, the priority to give it to hospitals, and the weekend. It did not take long before she relapsed into delusions and fits. Family and friends visited again and again saw someone they did not know. Her own sister and niece came across the country to see her and it was met not with joy, but seeming annoyance from mom. She was not herself. We could see her slipping back into the darkness of the syndrome. Late in the evening, Lesley was called in the middle of the night because mom was screaming and could not be calmed down. With some soothing words and Vivaldi, she fell asleep for a few hours only to wake up screaming profanities and awful things at Lesley and the staff. There was nothing to be done to subdue her. She was again rushed to the emergency room where they had to restrain her, as tiny as she was because she was a threat to herself and others.

At this point we were at a loss, we did not know where to turn, or how to help her. Elise stayed with mom several days to ensure we were one hundred percent aware of her needs, medicine, and more. We refused to have a repeat of Milford and the unwillingness to communicate about our mother's care. Thankfully, the doctors and staff were more transparent and communicative at Kent. They informed us, something of which we already knew deep inside, that the syndrome had advanced. She warned that the disease leads to death in approximately 20% of cases. While mom was not there, 75% of those diagnosed were left with permanent brain damage.  She warned us that long-term institutionalization may be needed in order to receive effective care. Our mom's level of care would be beyond what the hospital could offer. It was even unsafe for her to be home without round the clock care. How did she get here? She had just bought herself a new car, we had Thanksgiving and Christmas, things seemed fine and now she was going to be a shell of herself for the rest of her life? The doctor set up a medicine regime that helped keep mom calm with little delusions and issues. After two weeks in the hospital, she was transferred to rehab where she would work with a walker, dietician, PT, OT, and Speech in hopes she could be released. At this point, we were preparing for an assisted living facility of some point as she could not live on her own or drive a car. She could feed herself, but not walk, go to the bathroom, or dress herself without help. These would be some of the goals she worked on in rehab.



Mom was transferred to one of the highest-rated rehab facilities in the state, Broadmeadow Rehabilitation in Middletown, Delaware.  We breathed a sigh of relief because if anything happened, Mom would be taken to Christiana Hospital where there is a memory care center and a facility that may be able to treat her better. Being 30 minutes north and still having full-time jobs made it hard to be there every day as we were in Kent, but we still managed to get up there in shifts. We called every day to check with the floor nurse and staff. There, they worked with her to a degree, but within a week's time began complaining that she was "mean” or "uncooperative" and seemed frustrated by our constant phone calls to check on her. Guess what else they did? Changed her medicine. We were once again shocked that doctor's orders were not being followed. She went from working with a walker to sitting in a wheelchair all day.  Our mother was not a mean person, yet instead of listening to us and our pleas for an understanding of her syndrome, they declared her “uncooperative” and she was then forced to begin paying out of pocket for her expenses as a resident. Just in case you are wondering, this runs $11,000 a month, so the per-day fees drained her savings quickly. Mom was wheelchair-bound, slumped over, would sometimes eat, but was giving up.

Friends and family visited and were dismayed by her appearance and care which only were fixed with a formal inquiry by us. Her hair was a mess. Her clothes were unwashed. I know the nurses work very hard in these facilities and are paid little for it with a huge patient workload, they did what they could, but our issue was with the facility and their willingness to just write her off and let her sit in the wheelchair forever.  We started to research places for her but were denied by three hospitals and rehab facilities in Philadelphia because Medicare would not cover her due to the diagnosis from the rehab facility. We decided to try one last time to get her Roxboro in Philadelphia, you know, the one we had tried to send her to months ago when we had issues in Milford? With the help of the contracted psychiatrist, we say "contracted" because she was one of the only people who helped mom and was not a direct employee of the facility, we were able to get her into the best Geriatric Psychiatry Program in the country at Roxboro Memorial Hospital in Philadelphia. 

PICTURES OF HER TIME AT BROADMEADOW ARE INTENTIONALLY OMITTED. 

Roxboro saved our mom's life for the third time. They saw our mother’s true potential and strength and put her on a road to recovery. They worked with her to prescribe a medicine regime that would be stuck to and to make a plan for her recovery. She began walking with a walker, developed a relationship with food, and had an amazing glow about her that had been absent for months. We saw her on Mother's Day and she had made a card for Lesley. She had barely been able to pick up a spoon for the last month and she had created a whole card. They talked to us every time we called, they met with us, we knew the plan and jumped in the bus for her road to recovery. 

That road unfortunately by law and policy led her back to rehab, as it is customary to return to the rehab where she was, who then took credit for mom's recovery. She was walking with a walker, feeding herself, talking, and though her memory was foggy, she had newfound energy and desire to be well again. The rehab facility kept her for a week then deemed her safe to return home with round the clock supervision. We made sure that they were aware that they did not help and that her strength and recovery were not thanks to them. They were in disbelief that she had lived on her own prior to all of this, so they have released her rehabilitated to the point they deemed her to be able to live. She wanted to be on her own again and simply could not. Things happen for a reason, and it turned out to be better in the long run as she moved in with Lesley's family while we could search for a facility that would give her the level of care she needed. 

"Nena" lived with Lesley's family for just about a month. Mom ate well, had Home Instead here during the day, we highly recommend this service, and hung out with family at night. PT, OT, and Speech visited her and set up reasonable goals and plans for her recovery. Friends and family also came by often to see her. The grandkids loved having her around and would not leave her alone. It was cute, but exhausting for her as she was trying to rebuild her strength and life. Remember that patient and giving teacher? She has the patience of a saint and cherished the time with them. Honestly, we would have wanted peace and quiet, but being with family is so important to her. It was great medicine in addition the 18 pills a day she already had to take. The level of care needed for mom was hard to give with full time jobs and little kids around. We knew the goal was assisted living because they would be able to provide that and peace of mind to us that she was safe. 

Mom moved into State Street Assisted Living in July.  She is looked after, eats three meals a day, enjoys the activities and trips, and even was their resident of the month in October! Since coming to assisted living PT, OT, and Speech continued working with her. She has become more and more independent in taking her medicines, working to become more dependent on a walker, showering, dressing, and feeding herself, and is getting back to the mom we know.  Lesley continues to take her to doctors appointments and both of us get over to see her whenever we can. While her plan, and ours, is to get her in an Independent Living Apartment, she still has some goals to meet to ensure she is ready for that step.