Howdy neighbor! I'm a community organizer in Portland, OR. I am helping my community throw its second annual block party fundraiser for charity. The event costs a little money to put on, and this year our supporting organization received no grant money to be able to reimburse us. We have decided to hold the event anyway. The market works like this - Instead of paying neighbors for the goods they bring to the market, shoppers will donate the value of the goods they take to one of several excellent organizations we have chosen to highlight, such as the Portland Immigrant Rights Coalition, The Equality Corps of Oregon, the Innovation Law Lab, and the Clear Clinic. It's a great event, but we can't run it without some support.

I have this other problem, too. My beard has grown to a tremendously unexpected luxurious length!! As a result, I can no longer find my belly button at a glance!!!

I believe I have found a way to cover the cost of our charity market AND cure my glut of facial extravagance. If you're reading this now, you've already guessed the solution! Your generous donations are the key!

The first (estimated) $100 we raise will pay for the expense of holding the market. For every $50 raised beyond this, I will cut off an inch of my beard! If we raise enough to account for the entire length (approximately $250 at time of writing), I will clean-shave my face on the spot at the event for the entertainment of the neighborhood! Therefore my funding goal is $350. I will donate all money raised beyond the cost of holding the event, split between the various causes we are supporting, according to my discretion. To be perfectly clear, you will receive no prize, reward, or gift in exchange for your donation. You will simply be giving me the courage and determination I need to finally shave my face.

Thank you for your interest in seeing my naked face and raising money for these great causes! If you would like to come see me shave my face, and you already have my phone number, send me a text to get the event details!

Thanks for your help!