Urgent: Help Us Save Our Family from Collapse

Our Family is Drowning – An Urgent Plea for a Lifeline to Survive

We are the Walkers from Blackpool—Gary, Freyja, Izzy (15), Phoebe (16), and Ethan (21). I am laying bare our family's heart-wrenching reality because we are not just struggling; we are on the precipice, battling daily against a relentless confluence of severe medical crises, the devastating impact of systemic neglect by services meant to help, and a financial abyss that threatens to consume us entirely. This is not a request for luxuries; it is a desperate plea for survival, for a lifeline to keep our family from completely shattering.

A Life Lived in Perpetual Crisis

Our daughter, Izzy, is a cherished 15-year-old, but her life, and consequently ours, is overshadowed by severe autism, learning disabilities, hypermobility, and a terrifying mental health crisis. These are not abstract diagnoses; they manifest as daily, violent episodes – screaming that fills our small terraced house, aggression that leaves us physically and emotionally bruised, and self-harm that instils a constant, chilling fear. Her 16-year-old sister, Phoebe, endures unimaginable trauma. She is often too terrified to be in the same room as Izzy, frequently forced to seek refuge and sleep elsewhere simply to feel safe. Her childhood is being systematically eroded by fear and anxiety.

Phoebe also faces the prospect of surgery for the same debilitating knee condition that Izzy has, yet she carries her own pain in silence, afraid to add to our family’s already overwhelming burden. Our eldest son, Ethan (21), navigates his own significant challenges with autism and ADHD, his journey to independence made infinitely harder by the ceaseless turmoil within our home.

My wife, Freyja, is my rock, but her strength is continually tested by the agony of fibromyalgia and a Chiari malformation – a serious brain condition stemming from a previously botched medical procedure. Chronic, debilitating pain is her constant companion, often confining her to bed, wrestling with the profound guilt of not being able to shield her children from this storm. As for myself, Gary, I live with the daily consequences of nerve damage and crippling arthritis from multiple failed knee surgeries, a reality that has destroyed my career and severely limited my physical capacity. We have exhausted every personal resource, sold what little we had, and endured the profound humility of two bankruptcies. Still, we find ourselves sinking.

The Two Crushing Weights Threatening to Submerge Us: Family Debt & Making Our Home Safe

While the intensive, round-the-clock care for Izzy and the desperate need to protect Phoebe and support Ethan consume our every moment, two specific financial burdens are now threatening to break us completely:

1. Overwhelming Family Debt (£34,151): This is not debt accrued through reckless spending. This is money owed to our own beloved family – our son Ethan and my dear mother-in-law. In our moments of deepest despair, when statutory services failed us time and again, they were our only lifeline. They stepped in with their own savings, their own credit, their unwavering love, to keep a roof over our heads, to ensure there was food on our table, to cover emergency needs that no one else would help with. This debt, which could not be included in our personal bankruptcies, is a profound moral obligation. It haunts my every waking moment and steals my sleep each night. The thought of failing these family members, after their incredible selflessness, is an agony I cannot adequately describe.

2. The Urgent, Long-Overdue Need for a Safe Home (Disabled Facilities Grant Shortfall): After a protracted and soul-destroying battle with the council and Blackpool Coastal Housing – a battle marked by systemic delays, a refusal to reassess Izzy in 2023 despite her clearly deteriorating condition (as detailed in our formal complaint [1]), and advice that behavioural strategies first needed to be exhausted (despite the 2023 OT report [2] noting Izzy had not received recent behavioural interventions) – we are finally seeing a glimmer of progress towards a Disabled Facilities Grant (DFG). A new, privately commissioned Occupational Therapy report (dated May 2025) unequivocally states that Izzy requires her own ground-floor bedroom [5, Recommendation 2]. This isn't about preference or comfort; it is a fundamental issue of safety – a dedicated, accessible space for Izzy to de-escalate her violent episodes and, crucially, to give Phoebe her own room back, a sanctuary where she can finally feel secure and begin to heal. The DFG, however, is capped by law at £30,000. The essential extension and adaptations to our home will cost significantly more, realistically leaving us with a shortfall of £20,000 to £30,000. Without bridging this gap, making our home the safe and suitable environment our children desperately need remains an impossible dream.

Our Unwavering Commitment to Transparency: This is Why You Can Trust Us

Asking for financial help in such a public way is one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to do. It lays our family bare and invites scrutiny, and sometimes, painful criticism. But our integrity, our honesty, is absolute, and our past actions stand as testament to this.

In early May 2025, we launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise £1,770 for Izzy’s urgently needed powered wheelchair. The response from kind-hearted people was overwhelming. Then, a true blessing occurred: just as we were about to purchase the chair, another charity stepped in at the very last moment and provided it directly.

How did we handle the £1,770 you had so generously entrusted to us?

• We transparently accounted for every penny. We had already spent £271 on X (formerly Twitter) boosts to amplify the fundraiser and incurred £67.44 in GoFundMe transaction fees. This was clearly communicated to all our donors.

• For the remaining £1,431.56, we didn't quietly absorb it into our strained finances, nor did we repurpose it without consultation, despite our own desperate need for funds to cover debts.

• Instead, we immediately contacted every single donor and offered them a proportional refund of 80% of their original donation (this percentage fairly reflected the promotional funds already spent).

• After the refund window closed, the entire remaining balance, along with any unclaimed refunds, was split equally and donated. We proudly gave £715.78 each to Sam’s Place NW (a wonderful local charity where Izzy finds peer support and belonging) and the Everton Disabled Supporters Association (who enable Izzy, a passionate football fan, to safely enjoy matches). We have shared the receipts and public acknowledgements from these charities with our supporters (and can provide them again – please see image attachments on this campaign [3]).

This is not the behaviour of "grifters" or scammers, terms we have painfully seen levelled at us. This is who we are: a family in unimaginable crisis, but one that operates with complete honesty and profound gratitude for every single act of kindness, no matter how small.

Our £60,000 Lifeline: What Your Support Will Help Us Achieve

Our overall fundraising goal of £60,000 is not an arbitrary figure. It represents what we realistically need to give our family a fighting chance at some semblance of stability and safety. Specifically, your support will enable us to:

1. Urgently Alleviate Crushing Family Debt: Directly pay back the £34,151 owed to our son and mother-in-law. This will lift an immense emotional and financial weight, allowing us to focus on care, not constant financial dread.

2. Make Our Home Safe and Accessible: Cover the critical shortfall for the DFG-funded fourth bedroom and other essential adaptations as recommended by Izzy’s Occupational Therapist. This will provide Izzy with a safe, regulatory space and give Phoebe back her own secure bedroom – a fundamental need for her wellbeing.

3. Provide Essential Specialist Support for Izzy: Fund ongoing vital therapies, crucial assessments (like the DNA test to guide appropriate medication, which CAMHS has failed to facilitate for six years), or specialist equipment that inevitably falls outside the inadequate provision of statutory services.

4. Ensure Our Plea is Heard: A portion of funds raised will continue to be allocated to X (formerly Twitter) boosts and other promotional efforts to help our campaign reach a wider audience of compassionate individuals.

We Are Running Out of Time – This is Our Family's SOS Signal

Every single day feels like we are walking a tightrope over a chasm. The fear of Izzy seriously harming herself or another member of our family, of Phoebe’s resilient spirit finally breaking under the relentless trauma, of Freyja’s fragile health collapsing completely, or my own body giving way under the strain, is a constant, visceral presence in our lives. The stress is not just emotional; it is a physical entity suffocating our home. Without immediate and significant help, we genuinely risk losing everything – most importantly, the chance for our children to experience any form of stable, safe, and nurturing life.

Please, If You Are Able, Don’t Look Away

If our family’s story has touched your heart, if you have ever faced seemingly insurmountable despair, if you believe in the profound power of collective compassion to enact real change in people's lives, please consider helping us. A donation, whatever its size, will make a tangible, life-altering difference. Sharing our story with your friends, family, and networks could be the act that brings our plea to someone who can offer that critical lifeline.

We are not asking for a miracle, though sometimes it feels like only a miracle will do. We are asking for a chance to breathe, a chance to make our home the safe sanctuary our children so desperately need and deserve, a chance to honour the crippling debts to the family members who believed in us when no one else did, and a chance to offer Izzy, Phoebe, and Ethan a glimmer of hope for a more secure and peaceful future.

Thank you, from the very depths of our hearts, for taking the time to read our family’s plea. Your empathy, your understanding, and any support you can offer will never be forgotten.

With enduring and heartfelt gratitude,

Gary & Freyja Walker