His name is Zakary. He's 7 years old. He calls me Dad.

For his entire life, I have been his primary caregiver. I was there for his first steps, his first words, his first day of school. I packed his lunches, helped with homework, dried his tears, and tucked him in every single night. On February 13th, that ended without warning.

What happened?

Following our separation, I was in my first two-week parenting rotation my scheduled, agreed-upon time with my son. During that time, an emergency court order was issued. I was never properly notified of the appearance. I was never given a chance to be heard. Based on allegations that I had "taken" Zak during what was my parenting time, his mother was granted primary custody.

What the court did not hear is that for the three years leading up to this, I was the primary caregiver for both Zak and his mother in our home every single day.

What I need you to know

Zak's mother sustained a traumatic brain injury three years ago. Since then, I have provided full-time support for her and for Zak. She is unable to walk for more than 10 minutes without needing help. and has appox 4-6 hours a day of up time. She cannot manage full-time caregiving on her own. None of this was disclosed to the judge before the emergency order was made.

Since I've been gone, Zak has gone from an active, structured daily life to playing video games almost exclusively. He went from sleeping in his own room every night to sleeping in his mother's bed. I have documented my concerns about this in writing.

Because she cannot manage both herself and Zak, she is now putting him on a plane alone and sending him to another province to stay with his half-sister and her dad in BC Zak does not know Nicoles father. He is 7 years old. This was not discussed with me, and I did not consent to it. In an active custody matter, taking a child out of province without the other parent's knowledge or agreement is not something that should be happening and it speaks directly to whether the current arrangement is actually in Zak's best interest.

The moments we've lost

I have not had meaningful time with my son since March 13th. Since this began, we have missed:

❌ My birthday

❌ Christmas

❌ A father-son trip across Canada we had planned together

❌ Easter

❌ Three days now without a single phone call,

When calls do happen, they are monitored and controlled and limited to 15 minutes. He cannot just talk to his dad.

Time with your child is not something you can pause and come back to later.

We no longer even have an intermediary

Update: New Intermediary

To manage communication, we had an agreed-upon intermediary a neutral third party so that contact with Zak didn't have to go through her directly. She has now removed ours and attempted to insert a new one (4 times now). We currently do not have one.

I have no way to reach Zak without calling the RCMP for a welfare check and that is not an exaggeration. His mother's physical condition means that if she falls, she may not be able to get up. I have already had to make that call not out of conflict, but out of genuine fear for my son's safety.

That is where we are. A father who just wants to hear his child's voice, having to phone the police to make sure they're both okay.

Something I don't talk about easily

I am a male victim of domestic abuse. I am not on the other side of it — I am still in it.

I am not sharing this for sympathy. I am sharing it because male victims are not taken seriously enough, and that silence is part of what made this possible. When this began, I was forced out of our home into a new rental new expenses, overnight. She has been rejecting my mail, claiming I no longer live at the address. She has created duplicate accounts and financial confusion at every turn. She has also cut off my access to equipment and resources I need for my work making it nearly impossible to earn at the level I need to while simultaneously fighting this in court. The hardship is deliberate and it is ongoing.

The assumption that children belong with their mother by default is outdated. Children belong with the parent they are most bonded to, the parent they feel safe with, and the parent who has shown up every single day. That parent is me.

I want Zak to have a full relationship with his mother. I have said this in writing. and continue to believe this even after everything she's done to the contrary, I want her to have unrestricted time with him whenever she wants it because I have lived what it means to grow up without a father present, and I refuse to let Zak experience that.

What this is doing to me

I want to be honest. I wake up every morning escalated, scared, and afraid. The stress of not knowing if my son is okay, of having no way to reach him, of watching time pass that we will never get back — it is not something I can fully describe.

I am in counseling. I am doing grounding work. I am doing everything I can to stay present and functional — because Zak needs me to. That is the only reason I get up.

I am not a perfect person. No one is. But I do not have an addiction. I do not have a criminal record. I am not an absent father. I am a man who showed up every single day for the people he loved — and I am still showing up, even now, even like this.

I am not okay right now. But I will not stop.

My father passed away on November 9th, 2025.

This began on December 24th.

I watched my mother put my father through something very similar. He is gone now, and I understand what he went through in a way I never could before. I will not let Zak grow up wondering why his dad stopped fighting.

I will not stop.

What your support goes toward

Family court moves slowly. Real life does not. Every week without proper legal representation is a week I cannot get back — and neither can Zak.

In order to fight for Zak, I have to be able to stay standing. Some funds will go toward basic living stability keeping a roof over my head and the lights on — so that I can show up in court, show up for every call, and be the father he needs. Beyond that, your support goes toward:

Lawyer retainer and ongoing representation

Emergency motion filings

Court documentation and process serving

Custody evaluation costs

Everything raised here serves one purpose: getting back to my son.

If you can donate — thank you from the bottom of my heart.

If you can only share — that matters just as much.

If you've been through something like this — I'm listening.

With gratitude, humility, and resolve,

— David "AJ" Frey but my fav thing to be called is Dad

Medicine Hat, AB

gofundme.com/f/i-was-there-every-day-now-i-fight-for-my-son