I want to meet my Mum & family

 
 
Hello and thank you for looking into my story. 

I have started this account to ask for help to get to South Africa to meet my mother and South African family for the first time since I was 3. I am now 34, I lost my father 14 years ago and have no family on his side that I am close to. I had tried many years to locate my mother, having had not contact for years. 

Then one day in 2018 she found me, completely by surprise, on the internet. I guess she finally found facebook! We built a mother/daughter relationship over the phone for years and it was our intention that I would go out this year, in 2020 to meet her and my SA family.  Unfortunately, due to Covid-19 this was not possible, plus I had to use all the funds I'd saved up in order to live, due to being out of work for 6 months of this year. It's been heartbreaking getting so close to meeting her, then being pushed back to square one. Working in hospitality, this pandemic has really affected my financial situation and I have no savings left at all. Yet because of what is going on in the world, I am even more desperate to meet what family I have left.

So, I am asking for the help to fly out there and back as well as to cover my rent and bills and living whilst I'm away. Here is part of my story...... I have done my best to be careful in terms of my portrayal of people, whilst still speaking my truth. 

My name is Anoushka, I was born in South Africa in the 1980's when Apartheid existed and it was illegal for people of non-European and European descent to marry. My Dad was white and English, my mother black, Xhosa and very young. 

When she met my father she was 20 and he a lot older. When they had me she often had to pretend to be my nanny, because  I was so much lighter-skinned than her and it would have caused a lot of controversy if people knew I was her daughter.51650554_1606350419237375_r.jpeg

Anyway, at the age of 3, my mother left. Not because she didn't want to be in my life but because my parents' relationship fell apart, she was still so young and unsure of what she was going to do and had no financial backing to raise a young child. Therefore, she signed a document, which I still have, handing over all parental responsibility to my father, that he would be my sole parent and she wouldn't challenge that. I don't think at the time she realised what she was signing away. 51650554_1606350453402332_r.jpeg
In full. I have deleted my father's name ad my mother's image because I feel it the right thing to do. 

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After this I stayed with my Dad full time and never saw my mother again, we lived in South Africa at times but mainly in England. I was never told much about her, I was told she didn't want me and didn't care for me and that was why she'd left. I don't want to go into much in terms of my father or step-mum but I was told, she just didn't care about me by both my step-mother and Dad.  

I went through a lot of deep depression in my teens, it was a difficult and lonely time and I wished for my mother all the time. Yet not knowing whether she ever cared about me was hard in itself to know.  A few weeks before my 17th birthday I left home, I put my things in bin liners and with the help of a few good friends and a caseworker, never went back for very valid reasons. 

Then, at 20, my Dad died. We were not talking at the time but it still broke my heart. It was then that my step-mother took it upon herself to reveal to me that my mother had been sending letters all along, but they would hide them. She didn't know where they were after my Dad's death but confirmed that she had even replied to some of them, whilst all the while telling me that it was such a shame my mother didn't want me. It was a lot to handle at just 20 years old and feeling very alone in the world. I managed to get hold of some photo albums and documents relating to me after my Dad died. This is where these images come from. 

Since then I have searched for her in so many ways and it never came to anything. Until in 2018, she must of finally joined Facebook and I woke up to a message from nonother than my Mom! It was the most insane and incredible feeling in the world. Truly life-changing. She has told me that she always thought of me and wrote to me. That she would receive letters back warning her to say away and accusing her of trying to steal my father back when all she wanted was to know how I was. So, we have built a relationship and discussed a lot over these years. It took me time to let her in and trust again but it has been worth it.

Now, in these unstable times, I really want to meet the family that is waiting for me out there, I have a brother, sister, uncle and grandmother to meet too. Covid-19 has cost me a job, used up my savings and put me in a position where it may be another year and a half at least until I can get back on my feet and save enough to go out there. I don't want to put it off that long. So, kindly, I'm asking for help. Life is too short and I don't want another year to pass without meeting my family. 

Thank you

Anoushka x

Donations

  • Val Adamd 
    • £40 
    • 2 d
  • Nathan Moynihan 
    • £15 
    • 2 d
  • Van Eyke 
    • £10 
    • 1 mo
  • Tom Monty-Swan 
    • £50 
    • 1 mo

Organizer

Anoushka Kellett 
Organizer
Paignton, South West England, United Kingdom
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