We hate having to ask for help, but we don't really have much of a choice right now.

Seny (she/they) and I first started talking on in January 2020-- just a day after my birthday! I was doing a lot of writing online at the time, Seny sent me a $3 on Ko-Fi (representing a cup of coffee) for my birthday, and offered to draw a little comic from one of my stories. We started talking on Twitter, where I found out that they're a comic artist from Hungary. And we kept talking, and talking, and talking... We bonded over our favorite shows, video games, our stories, and figuring out later in life that we were gay (and, in Seny's case, nonbinary). We started making plans to meet... but then Covid derailed our plans!

For the next year and a half, we dated online. Daily phone calls, thousands of texts, and very pixelated video calls, not to mention our nightly Animal Crossing dates, where I enlisted Seny's help to grow blue roses on my little island. Not going to lie, the long distance was hard! Though she was living just over the border in Canada, Covid made it impossible for either of us to cross the border to meet. Every time there was news about the border, we jumped onto the new sites, hopeful... but these hopes were always dashed by extended border closures. It's hard when you can't actually hug your partner, or kiss them, and your first "I love yous" have to be over blurry video chats. But the extended time apart only made us talk more, and we got to know each other so well over that first year and a half. We'd both been married to men before, and we knew, without a doubt, how much beautifully different this was. It was such a relief when the border finally opened, and Seny came over immediately in June 2021.

It wasn't supposed to be a long stay- Seny had to return to Hungary in 3 months. They had a job waiting, and her family was so excited to see her for the first time in several years. Though we hated the idea of being apart again, we didn't have much of a choice due to their visitor visa. However, covid being covid, one of their flights got canceled, and we frantically looked into what we could do that wouldn't leave Seny stranded in a foreign country. We did some research, and found that there was a way to keep Seny here! We'd been planning to get married eventually, anyway-- we'd already started looking into how to immigrate, including speaking to a lawyer-- but due to financial constraints, we were going to put it off. With the flight canceled, though, we decided to go for it anyway! We had a small wedding in February 2022, and we put together every cent we had to pay the lawyer fees, knowing all the while that there would only be more fees on the horizon. We knew we wouldn't be able to afford wedding rings (we had some cheap, placeholder engagement rings) or a honeymoon, but we figured we could always have a proper wedding later; all we wanted was to stay together.

Which brings us to now! Though I currently work full-time as a CNA (in addition to babysitting on the side as much as I can), it's difficult to support two people on one barely-above-entry-level salary, especially with how expensive everything is these days. We've cut back on everything we can- we don't go out much, and we've cut back on hobbies and personal things. We haven't traveled anywhere in months. Even our birthdays and anniversary have been extremely low-key out of necessity. Every time we get even a little bit of money to put toward immigration, however, something comes up-- a surprise root canal, impacted wisdom teeth, medical bills (Seny has a chronic illness), and health insurance denying claims that we'd been assured would be covered. That, in addition to the increasing price of groceries and the painful price of heating oil... things are hard, and will continue to be hard.

Unfortunately, due to a frustrating financial hold from a previous university, I'm unable to advance any further in my career to earn a better salary, and my raise this year just wasn't enough to help. Though I've been looking into travel contracts, I'm at a dead end career-wise until I can afford to pay back my old university, which will be the next goal once we have Seny's immigration squared away. Seny helps as much as she can-- their first book advance (from their comic Saigami) helped us pay the first half of the lawyer fees, and selling their art helps immensely with our daily expenses. But Seny's publisher has given her no indication of when to expect the next book advance or even royalties, which we've been counting on to help with this. All of this puts us in a bind.

The more time passes, the more anxious we get. We don't want Seny to be forced to return to Hungary. It's not even just a matter of not wanting to be apart; it's literally not safe for Seny to live there as a nonbinary lesbian. Hungary is extremely homophobic, and even in Seny's hometown, it would be dangerous for us to even hold hands if anyone knew we were gay. There are horror stories of queer people being attacked, and the government does nothing (in fact, the Hungarian prime minister recently passed a law lumping LGBT+ causes with pedophilia, requiring any media with LGBT+ relationships to be wrapped up and labeled "dangerous"- for reference, even the cartoon Peppa Pig falls under this category due to a character having lesbian moms!). Even a man in Seny's immediate circle made a comment saying "Someone needs to show you what a real man is like." It's a horrifying reality, and one we don't want Seny to return to long-term. I love my wife so much, and I don't want us to have to be apart again, but more importantly, I want to make sure she's safe.

So if you stuck through and read this whole thing, thank you! We're embarrassed to even have to ask, but financially, things aren't getting better for us, and probably won't unless something changes drastically. We're not asking for anything more than we'd need for the immigration process- Seny very much wants to be able to get a legal full-time job in order to help, but unfortunately, they're unable to at this time. But as soon as they're allowed to, they will. The amount we're asking for will cover the other half of the lawyer fees and immediate immigration/visa fees, and will go a long way toward keeping Seny safely in this country. Every little penny helps, even if this doesn't end up completely covering the fees. Even if you can't help financially, even just sharing this page means a lot!

Thank you, and maybe when we get through this, I'll make everyone a celebratory cake!