Helping my mom with housing, medical & legal fees

Before I get into my mom's story, I'd like to preface this Gofundme by saying please do not feel pressured to donate if you are facing hardship yourself. We understand that many people face financial struggles and we expect no special treatment. Just the emotional support alone has meant the world to us! Thank you.

At the urging of friends, I've decided to create a Gofundme as an opportunity for those who'd like to help my mom get through this difficult time. In late August, my mom was admitted to our local hospital via the ER. While by her side, we received my mom's diagnosis of end-stage renal failure. My mom has always been active, healthy, and self-regulatory so this diagnosis came as a shock. She was rushed into emergency surgery to have a catheter inserted into her chest and connected to her heart so she could begin life-saving dialysis treatment immediately.

Since then, my mom and I have had to adapt to a new normal. My mom now receives regular dialysis treatments -- three-hour sessions, three times a week -- in order to simply stay alive. She's also been forced to go on disability leave from her job as we navigate the next steps of this diagnosis.

To make matters more complicated, my mom's new medical battle has occurred against a backdrop of ongoing legal proceedings that have brought her much stress. In 2021, my biological father surprised my mom with divorce papers under the guise of delivering a gift for me. He demanded that she not seek legal representation, threatening that they would lose everything if lawyers were to get involved. Ironically, it was my father who acquired legal representation first which became knowledge to my mom once she received a packet hundreds of pages thick from a law firm on my father's behalf.

My parents had been married 20+ years, throughout which my dad held executive-level positions at production companies. My mom on the other hand sacrificed her own career in production to stay at home with me and uphold their household. My mom immigrated to this country as a small child and was raised with her three siblings by a single mother on a waitress's salary. She has no higher education and did not finish high school. Once I completed high school, she began working full-time again as a retail employee. My dad most recently held a high-paying job at a tech company in San Francisco, raking in about 10x what my mom was making a year for the last four years, unbeknownst to us.

At the present moment, we face the likely prospect of being unfairly unhoused while my mom is disabled and actively undergoing surgeries. To remain housed or fight for funds entitled to her to secure new housing, my mom urgently needs new legal representation. My mom just lost her lawyer in this case due to his being commissioned as a judge. The opposing party has poached on this opportunity and filed for emergency hearings while my mom is unrepresented. This makes it very difficult to submit responsive declarations on such short notice. We've already racked up tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees over the past year. In order to acquire a new attorney, my mom will need to pay a new retainer, hence the $6,000 goal, which is money my mom does not have.

My mom is currently receiving short-term disability benefits from the state, which is her only income. My father is not paying her any spousal support and she has little to no savings. My mom will also be undergoing mandatory surgical procedures at the top of 2023, only adding to her ever-growing list of financial needs.

As I wrote at the top of this post, please do not feel pressured to donate if you are not in a secure financial situation. For those who are able to and interested in donating, please know I can not express my gratitude enough. It is an uncomfortable place to even ask for help so I'd prefer to reframe this as an opportunity for those who'd like to give. Even just sharing our story with others is a helpful act!

For those who prefer to donate directly instead of through GoFundMe, please reach out.

Frida Kahlo has a quote I encountered amongst some of her artwork earlier this month: "At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can." I'd like to leave you all with this quote, as we all will face hardship at some point in our time here on earth. I've had moments in my life where I truly felt at the end of my rope. Yet, here I remain. My mom has taught me to be a fighter by being the best example of one this year. I am so proud of her and so thankful for those who have rallied around us. Without our little community, things would be that much tougher. To all of you who have lent an encouraging word, a shoulder to cry on, or a generous donation, thank you. Every little shred of support is felt and has helped us keep the flame that is hope lit.