Help Teach Kids to Watch TV So They Never Have to Read Again

The Briefing is organising this fundraiser.

Donation protected

At The Briefing, we’re on a mission to liberate America’s youth from the crushing burden of the written word. With your support, we’ll teach kids how to consume stories the way nature intended — passively, in HD, with snacks. That’s why we’re raising funds to give children what they truly need: the skills to absorb media without much reflection.

Your donation will go toward:

Lobbying school districts to replace required reading with required viewing
Spoiling major plot points in beloved books (Charlotte dies. So does Dumbledore. You're welcome.)
Funding on-demand streaming literacy programs in underserved school districts

We’re proud to partner with:

Huloo, who are supporting this initiative out of the kindness of their hearts — and stand to earn only an additional $2 billion in ad revenue as a result
The GOP, who support our mission to keep future voters blissfully ignorant and therefore pleasantly compliant

Because when kids stop reading, they stop asking questions.

And that’s good for business.

Donate now. Help us build a brighter, louder, ad-revenue-generating tomorrow.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical fundraiser. Proceeds may be used to fund sketch comedy, website hosting, or paying interns. The sweatshirts can only hold them over for so long.