Useless, loser, worthless, pathetic, these are the words my depressed brain uses about me. I have had depressive episodes in the past and came through. But this time it’s different. This time, there is the added burden of financial disaster. My depressed brain has no interest in doing anything productive, even knowing that financial ruin is looming. I know that sounds ridiculous. I get it. It sounds ridiculous to me, and yet, I have not been able to do much in terms of productivity. I am close to losing my house, my car was repoed last week. I have zero income at the moment.

I am embarrassed and ashamed of my life right now. I feel guilty, hopeless, devastated. I can’t believe I’ve turned to crowdfunding, but I’m doing it for two reasons: I obviously need money, and the second reason is to let others who may be feeling the same know that they are not the only ones. Mental health issues are real. Depression is not just “feeling sad” or “blue”. It is overwhelming, crushing, all-encompassing. It is not logical, but it is very real. I cannot adequately describe how it is right now.

I (and my cats) appreciate any donation, and if I receive more than I need be sure that I will pay it forward.