To my community and kin;

Today I share a hardship my partner and I have been living through, with you.

In mid 2023, my partner & I made the difficult decision to relocate back to our hometown. This was a decision that was fueled by the grief and sadness of my dad battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer. We were physically incapable of maintaining stable income and believed that this pause would help us recalibrate and get back on our feet.

We moved in with my partners family, and it was not ideal, but it was the only housing option we had, so we did our best to accommodate. At this time, there was more conversation, and from what seemed dialogue to repair what had been broken/harmed, between my partner & their family. However, that quickly changed, when they realized that my partner and I had arrived with boundaries & regulations of safety.

During this chaotic transition, my dad dies and I am left depleted. I fell into severe distress, and financially couldn't seem to find the lighthouse at the end of this dark tunnel. In this darkness, we struggled to pay our bills, and we both simply couldn't live. I was navigating the loss of my dad, and my partner was experiencing extreme CPTSD from living at home again.

I now with great permission share my partners story:

My partner was sexually abused by their father in this home, and their mother forced them to be silent. Only a few relatives in this home knew what had happened, but none of them did anything to keep them safe, nor did they ever ask him to leave. There was no urgency in their mother's response and if anything she questioned Kayla's experience & believed him.

BUT when we moved back he was no longer here and their mom had stated that she had gone no contact with him. That was a boundary my partner had enforced in order to live here and she stated to comply.

Unfortunately that didn't last long because we began to see his appearance again. With attempts to prevent it from escalating even more - I spoke to their mom & pleaded for her to keep him away. She ignored every request, and began to annihilate/ignore us. With persistence, I told her if you aren't going to ask him to leave... at least WARN ME so I can tell Kayla. She did this only 5 times and he's been back for about a year.

At first he was only in the front yard, but now he's inside the house (the co-shared space), and in the backyard - which is our safe space, as we live in the backroom. He's here almost everyday, and has attempted to intimidate me for advocating for my partner. Since his arrival, we have kept our distance.

We are no contact as much as we can with them, but because we chose to speak up & advocate for my partners boundaries/autonomy - we have been harassed and bullied by almost every member in this family.

Apart from my partners experience, my grief has been mocked. Two weeks after my dad's death, my partners mother- told me, "omg its been 2 weeks we don't have to be nice to you anymore." I have heard several comments like these since his death. There is countless of things that have happened to me here, but one that has been very scary/uncomfortable for me personally was her grandfathers harassment. He was looking at me very inappropriately and my partner immediately took action. This is their mom's dad, and when we expressed these concerns to her, she believed her dad & he said that we were lying.

Since living here I have heard colorist remarks, anti- indigenous slander/racism, and "homophobic jokes & ableist comments made to my partner.

We have done our best to make this a livable space and I am grateful for our room & the backyard because it's been our safe haven through this nightmare. However, her dad's presence is plaguing this whole house now, and my partner feels unsafe to leave the room. They have been experiencing more flashbacks, their body is in constant stress/fear, and they are autistic so they've been having more meltdowns & shutdowns. Their health in all aspects is undergoing a difficult time, and they have expressed about "not wanting to live anymore."

My partners health/story is what created this urgency to reach out to community, for they should not have to live in a space that has them looking over their shoulder. We are financially in a different space, and I am grateful to be self-employed & have my partner work with me. We are currently paying off a lot of debt that started when my dad died and that has been a blessing to do, yet it has also delayed our ability to move out. We have been in the process of transitioning out of this home, for we have been doing the spiritual and mundane work to get our own apartment. However, due to the drastic changes in this home and the ways it has impacted my partner - it has accelerated the journey & the move to happen sooner.

Many folks asked me to do a wishlist for my birthday and all I could think about was this. My wish this year is to have our own home again, and I would love if you fueled this dream with me.

As a diviner and a practitioner, one of the ways our spirits/ancestors/creator nurture our petitions is through others. I believe that community is a bridge that can foster this dream into reality.

I have seen miracles, for my practice is one. It began in the midst of my dad's death, and since his transition it has lifted me in light. For every month I am supported, and every month I get to support others doing what I LOVE. This home, will not just be for us - but also for my community. For my clients to come and receive, it will be a sanctuary of healing, love and growth - in light and darkness.

For every donation, I will pray in gratitude for you and send the same blessing you gave to me- back to you.

Thank you for hearing our story and being a prayer to us in this harsh time.