Help give us the gift of Life post Cancer

We would like to give our heartfelt thank you for coming here to read  our story about the difficult path we have had to walk down recently.

My name is Amanda, a 36 year old proud children’s nurse and my Fiancé is called Ryno who  is 38 and works for Bang and Olufsen. We have been together for 14 years and I love him with every single fibre in my body.

We are reaching out because last year on 2nd March after experiencing three devastating miscarriages over the years with unexplained infertilitly our hearts were broken and our entire life turned upside down.
I remember it very vividly, from the ultrasound scan and being told the lining of my womb was thick, to the biopsy I had to have under GA. The painful cramps to follow, the hope we still held that my doctor could help us have a baby! But instead… instead *sighs* I received a call 10 days after my biopsy surgery asking me to attend a hospital appointment the following day.. it was when the anonymous voice at the end of the phone said “please bring someone with you” I realised something was very wrong, and that night I cried every single tear I had.. yet nothing could prepare us what came next.

The following day, at exactly 16:00 we were sitting nervously in the large waiting room at the hospital where I worked, it was surreal being the patient. I kept telling myself that this was just a case of something that can
be fixed, to be honest I did not really understand what to expect but I know that we both felt incredibly scared. A voice called my name and and we entered the room, my doctor and a nurse already in the room.
We sat down and I desperately tried to read her facial expression, I could honestly feel my heart pounding. She asked how I felt, I talking to her about my pain and bleeding and my concerns for my fertility.
She edged closer to us and said “Amanda I am so sorry sweetheart but you have Cancer in your womb”

I was in an incredible state of shock, I looked at Ryno and I remember seeing him holding his face, I looked back at the doctor and my whole body felt as though it was going to tremble out of its skin, our hearts had shattered into a million little pieces. Ryno held on to me so tightly and I screamed into his arms. How was I going to tell my mum who is suffering from ill health that I have Cancer.
I don’t know how I drove home from the hospital that day, I have no idea how I even survived the rest of the day and didn’t die from a broken heart, or from fear.  Ryno brought the mattress upstairs infant of our TV and we camped up there for a few nights. I cried most of the day and night, and the following weeks to follow feel like a blur. I remember asking my doctor for something to take away the stress. I took sleeping tablets day and night because I couldn’t stand the emotional torture anymore, I wanted to not wake up.

Three weeks later I had my complete hysterectomy, bilateral oophorectomy, and removal of pelvic lymph-nodes. I cried walking to theatre because I knew that the next time I was awake I would have had all of my lady parts removed, be rendered sterile and be thrown into surgical menopause. 7 hours later I was brought into HDU to recover due to complications with my breathing. I woke up that evening and felt like a different person. I felt sore, useless and empty inside. It felt so final. 

I went through radiotherapy every day for 5 weeks, brachytherapy for 2 weeks and was sent home to recover. I was given dilators and was quite simply told to “use it or lose it” in other words I should prepare to endure scarring. Over the following weeks I desperately tried to feel normal again. Surgical menopause is hell.. absolutely hell. My tummy is scarred so badly, I was told that I have pelvic radiation disease, bladder fibrosis and vaginal stenosis. I suffered from embarrassing accidents, debilitating pain and endless emotional trauma. 

Despite all of this I put my uniform back on and returned to work as a children’s nurse and put every ounce of love and energy into looking after vulnerable children and their families. I remember one shift in particular where a parent placed her baby in my arms whilst she did something with her shoe. I don’t know what happened inside of me but I felt my already broken heart shatter all over again, threatening to break for good.
I held the baby closely and felt a beautiful connection with him for that brief moment. I knew that although my womb and ovaries were stolen from me my heart still yearned for a baby. And my fiancé felt exactly the same.

This brings me to now, weeks later where I am reaching out to friends, family and strangers who might be willing to help us with the gift of life. My beautiful sister has offered to grow a baby for us using my fiancés sperm, I was floored with her offer and for the first time since I was diagnosed with cancer I was able to smile and have hope that this could actually happen!.
After being referred by my oncologist to Guys St Thomas assisted conception unit we learned that this is not something that can be funded through the NHS and that we should expect to pay around £12000 for IVF through my sister. We do not have this kind of money… but it is our last hope. We are hoping to raise as much as we can to give us this chance to be called mum and dad.. we met with Dr White at the clinic last week and we are hoping so much that this will work.

Please help us have our baby, it would mean the entire world and more to us if you could spare absolutely anything at all we can put towards the cost. Cancer has taken so much from us, we don’t want this opportunity to be taken too.

Thank you so much from all of our hearts for reading our story, you are all beautiful.

Love Amanda & Ryno


*Special thank you to my Mum - Lyn and a friend -Paul for suggesting we reach out this way and to my sister Nicola for actually being willing to do this for us, we are forever touched*