Hello everyone, we have been approved to adopt a child, and there is nothing in the world we want more!!
We struggled with whether or not to put together this fundraising account. There are a lot of emotions about doing this, it is very difficult for us to ask for help like this, especially because it is not for a sickness or a critical situation. But Tracy’s Aunt said it best “sometimes you have to do what you have to do.” This is a dream come true for both us, and we are not getting any younger!
We also debated if we should do this ourselves or have someone else do it for us? We have many friends and family members that have suggested this and several even offering to do it for us. Ultimately, we decided it is our journey and you should get the story straight from us.
For those of you that know Tracy she has always been “like a mom” in her role as: aunt, godmother, big cousin, and counselor and there is nothing in the world she loves more than her nieces and nephews, cousins, god-babies, and students she has helped in any way! (Not to mention her fur babies!) She thought the chance for becoming a mother was lost, until she and John found each other. Although Tracy was older, she definitely did not think it was too late to biologically become a mom. That’s where she was wrong.
After a few years of trying unsuccessfully, we both underwent extensive testing. We were crushed to learn the numbers were not in Tracy’s favor. She was told she had less than a 1% chance to become pregnant. This news was especially devastating to Tracy. She not only felt like less of a woman, but that she had failed her husband, who has never been anything but loving and supportive. She spent many nights crying, being angry, thinking John deserved better, and that she was hurting him. In John, Tracy not only sees an amazing and loving husband, but an incredible uncle, big cousin, and dog dad too. She feels he deserves a child or hopefully children and a family of his own. She now believed that because of her, he might not have it. All of this was more devastating because we had just lost Tracy’s mother a few months before. She had been living with us and the emptiness left by her only seemed larger as we feared our home would be childless as well. There have been many tearful nights and several grief-filled days as we have been processing all of this. Although the grieving never truly ends, we have been made stronger and feel ready to take the next step.
This is where our adoption journey begins. Adoption was something we always considered regardless of whether we could have our own biological children. It is something we had discussed in the beginning of our relationship because of the age difference. Tracy knew there was a chance she would struggle to get pregnant, although never thought her chances would be that slim. John had always expressed he wants to be a father and that DNA was not the most important thing. He always said that our love for a child is all we needed, regardless of whether it was ours biologically or through adoption. We reached out to friends who had adopted and were referred to our agency. We had an initial meeting with them to go over all our options and decided to wait until after were married. A few months after we were married, we officially began the approval process (which is extensive to say the least). It took about 7 months to finally become approved, and here we are, beyond happy!
This brings us to where we are now . . . See, not only is the approval process long, and difficult but it costs a great deal of money to get there. We have spent close to $10,000 already, and now the real wait begins.
Currently we are waiting for a birth-mom to choose us. This process is done by an online profile, which is several pictures of our lives as well as short descriptions, written by us. Birth-moms can browse our agency’s website, or the agency can select us to show certain birth-moms or families. The birth-mom may select more than one adoptive/waiting family and ask to meet with them first before they choose. There are several different steps that may occur before we are chosen. This may take weeks months or even over a year. We have seen it happen very quickly and we have heard stories where it takes longer. Once we are chosen, we may have weeks, months, or hours before we can pick up our precious baby and that means we must be prepared!
Our biggest concern now are the costs, which have brought us to this place of asking for your help to partner with us, invest in us and invest in the life of a child that could be positively impacted by becoming part of our family! These are the general costs that are guaranteed and add up to approximately $38,000 not including possible travel and lodging if our baby comes from another state. Then there are agency fees, legal fees, post placement assessment fees, adoption finalization fees and any other expenses that may be incurred. To be a little more specific, the $38,000 must be available immediately when you pick up your child, that does not include post placement, travel, etc. This journey is not for the faint of heart.
So, you may ask, why would you embark on such a journey without having the funds to see it through? Well, we believe that if this is truly meant to be, and we believe it is, we will reach our goal with the love and support of as many of those who care about us as we can. We will find a way; we will pray and hope and continue to save as much as we can while continuously exploring all available options. We believe this is the journey we are meant to be on, and this is exactly where we are supposed to be right now.
In conclusion, we would be honored to have any support you are willing to share with us, including your prayers, positive thoughts, and well-wishes. We are humbled that you have even read this far. And although we struggled to find the strength to ask this, we feel it was the right thing to do, to help us bring our baby to a home where it will be loved and cared for by parents, family, and friends, who have waited and prayed lifetimes for this precious little blessing.
If you are uncomfortable at all with donating through GoFundMe, please reach out to us through our e-mail at: [email redacted].
Again, thank you for taking the time to read this!
Tracy and John
We struggled with whether or not to put together this fundraising account. There are a lot of emotions about doing this, it is very difficult for us to ask for help like this, especially because it is not for a sickness or a critical situation. But Tracy’s Aunt said it best “sometimes you have to do what you have to do.” This is a dream come true for both us, and we are not getting any younger!
We also debated if we should do this ourselves or have someone else do it for us? We have many friends and family members that have suggested this and several even offering to do it for us. Ultimately, we decided it is our journey and you should get the story straight from us.
For those of you that know Tracy she has always been “like a mom” in her role as: aunt, godmother, big cousin, and counselor and there is nothing in the world she loves more than her nieces and nephews, cousins, god-babies, and students she has helped in any way! (Not to mention her fur babies!) She thought the chance for becoming a mother was lost, until she and John found each other. Although Tracy was older, she definitely did not think it was too late to biologically become a mom. That’s where she was wrong.
After a few years of trying unsuccessfully, we both underwent extensive testing. We were crushed to learn the numbers were not in Tracy’s favor. She was told she had less than a 1% chance to become pregnant. This news was especially devastating to Tracy. She not only felt like less of a woman, but that she had failed her husband, who has never been anything but loving and supportive. She spent many nights crying, being angry, thinking John deserved better, and that she was hurting him. In John, Tracy not only sees an amazing and loving husband, but an incredible uncle, big cousin, and dog dad too. She feels he deserves a child or hopefully children and a family of his own. She now believed that because of her, he might not have it. All of this was more devastating because we had just lost Tracy’s mother a few months before. She had been living with us and the emptiness left by her only seemed larger as we feared our home would be childless as well. There have been many tearful nights and several grief-filled days as we have been processing all of this. Although the grieving never truly ends, we have been made stronger and feel ready to take the next step.
This is where our adoption journey begins. Adoption was something we always considered regardless of whether we could have our own biological children. It is something we had discussed in the beginning of our relationship because of the age difference. Tracy knew there was a chance she would struggle to get pregnant, although never thought her chances would be that slim. John had always expressed he wants to be a father and that DNA was not the most important thing. He always said that our love for a child is all we needed, regardless of whether it was ours biologically or through adoption. We reached out to friends who had adopted and were referred to our agency. We had an initial meeting with them to go over all our options and decided to wait until after were married. A few months after we were married, we officially began the approval process (which is extensive to say the least). It took about 7 months to finally become approved, and here we are, beyond happy!
This brings us to where we are now . . . See, not only is the approval process long, and difficult but it costs a great deal of money to get there. We have spent close to $10,000 already, and now the real wait begins.
Currently we are waiting for a birth-mom to choose us. This process is done by an online profile, which is several pictures of our lives as well as short descriptions, written by us. Birth-moms can browse our agency’s website, or the agency can select us to show certain birth-moms or families. The birth-mom may select more than one adoptive/waiting family and ask to meet with them first before they choose. There are several different steps that may occur before we are chosen. This may take weeks months or even over a year. We have seen it happen very quickly and we have heard stories where it takes longer. Once we are chosen, we may have weeks, months, or hours before we can pick up our precious baby and that means we must be prepared!
Our biggest concern now are the costs, which have brought us to this place of asking for your help to partner with us, invest in us and invest in the life of a child that could be positively impacted by becoming part of our family! These are the general costs that are guaranteed and add up to approximately $38,000 not including possible travel and lodging if our baby comes from another state. Then there are agency fees, legal fees, post placement assessment fees, adoption finalization fees and any other expenses that may be incurred. To be a little more specific, the $38,000 must be available immediately when you pick up your child, that does not include post placement, travel, etc. This journey is not for the faint of heart.
So, you may ask, why would you embark on such a journey without having the funds to see it through? Well, we believe that if this is truly meant to be, and we believe it is, we will reach our goal with the love and support of as many of those who care about us as we can. We will find a way; we will pray and hope and continue to save as much as we can while continuously exploring all available options. We believe this is the journey we are meant to be on, and this is exactly where we are supposed to be right now.
In conclusion, we would be honored to have any support you are willing to share with us, including your prayers, positive thoughts, and well-wishes. We are humbled that you have even read this far. And although we struggled to find the strength to ask this, we feel it was the right thing to do, to help us bring our baby to a home where it will be loved and cared for by parents, family, and friends, who have waited and prayed lifetimes for this precious little blessing.
If you are uncomfortable at all with donating through GoFundMe, please reach out to us through our e-mail at: [email redacted].
Again, thank you for taking the time to read this!
Tracy and John
Organizer
Tracy Migliore
Organizer
Webster, NY