Help Stephanie Secure Her Daughter's Safety
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Hello,
My name is Stephanie, and I am a single mother to a beautiful 10-year-old daughter. Before March of 2020, my (now ex) husband and I were high school teachers in Maryland. In February 2020, my then-husband, Matthew Poling, was put on administrative leave, during which he made up lies and convinced me of false reasons for the suspension.
During the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic, Matthew moved out of our home, and just a few weeks after we had our separation agreement notarized, I found proof he was having an affair. As per the signed agreement, our daughter stayed with me, and on the rare occasion she did go to his new apartment, she cried all night and begged to come home.
In July 2020, I found out through the police that Matthew faced charges for engaging in a sexual relationship with one of his 16-year-old students. Since he was picking her up and transporting her to his new apartment in Pennslyvania, he was committing sexual crimes in two states.
Matthew went into hiding from the PA state police, and a fugitive warrant was issued. Once he was finally found in PA, he missed his MD court hearing, putting an MVA flag on the vehicle I owned that his name was also on. That action forced me to trade in my car to get one in my name only. Since he was still under an active warrant in MD, the cops informed me of the danger of driving my daughter around in a vehicle that showed his name if the cops ran my tags.
As a result of his arrest, my daughter and I moved into an apartment so I could prepare our home to sell. I had to pay for a new roof before I could sell the only home my daughter knew(a repair Matthew knew the entire time we lived there needed to be done, but he refused to help pay for the repairs).
During this time (and still to this day), I was my daughter's sole income and provider. Since students were forced to go virtual for schooling, I was fortunate enough to secure her a spot at a private school that allowed the students to attend in person. This educational arrangement enabled me to keep my job as a teacher, but with the cost of her school, after-school care, the apartment, joint bills becoming my sole responsibility, and of course the down payment I had to put down on my vehicle (Matthew shot my credit and all but wiped me out before he left), I was financially broke.
My divorce was finalized in 2022. and it was an uncontested divorce in which I was granted full sole legal and physical custody of my daughter. She has been with me as we battled the trenches- working through her emotional trauma and separation anxieties, which began when Matthew started his 22-month stint in PA and MD jail.
Today, I am asking for help to fund my legal expenses to keep Matthew from getting weekend overnight visitation. I am no longer a full-time teacher since I cannot work hours when my daughter is out of school. I make ends meet squeaking by on freelance work.
You see, Matthew is on the Sex Offender registry as a Tier III lifetime offender, as his charges were Felony Sexual Abuse of a Minor (MD) and Felony Institutional Sexual Abuse (PA). He is still on probation in both states.
He is taking me to court to modify the terms of an agreement he signed. Originally, Matthew offered to give me full legal and physical custody of our daughter in exchange for me not asking for alimony or child support. An agreement that he has made with another ex-wife as well.
Matthew is trying to get 48-hour weekend custody in his ONE-bedroom apartment. This a scary request considering the number of times I have walked into his supervised visits (after stepping away to use the restroom) and came back with my daughter's head resting directly in his lap with no pillow or other barriers. He also lives within a mile of fifty other sex offenders.
Matthew walked around our former home naked in front of our child, and took screenshots of other underage girls he stole from their social media accounts (which he admitted to using to pleasure himself, something he did at random times of the day when my daughter could walk in at any moment. His computer also contained images he took of students he taught, pictures they did not know he took on his phone while they walked down the hallways.
I discovered later that not only did he talk to this 16-year-old about my daughter, but he also took my daughter on "dates" with them.
In addition to being a diagnosed sexual addict and deviant, Matthew was diagnosed as a Narcissist. Four years later, I am still dealing with the emotional trauma and anxieties he caused me.
My biggest fear is that the court will fail my daughter and allow him to get her alone. His interests seem to have peaked now that she is approaching puberty, and this scares me to death.
I cannot afford to pay for a lawyer for myself and have also been informed it would be in my daughter's best interest that she have a lawyer too. My lawyer's retainer is $3,500 +$270 per billable hour. I imagine the cost of her lawyer will be similar. Any extra money raised beyond that will go into an educational fund for my daughter.
I have gone out of my way to ensure that he gets plenty of supervised time with Sophia, but he is adamant that he get her alone in his place. In fact, his goal is to financially and emotionally drain me so I give him his way.
NOTE: "A major way a narcissist affects custody is by pursuing parental rights as a form of enhancing or creating a power disparity between themselves and the other parent. It is believed that many narcissists primarily want child custody not for the welfare of the kid, but for their own gratification. Children need a stable and caring environment where their needs can be met to give them the best chance. If a parent places their own concerns and wants over the needs of their child, they would likely not be a good caretaker and primary custodial guardian." (https://www.divorcelawyers1.com/)
https://local21news.com/news/local/former-teacher-accused-of-having-sex-with-student-in-franklin-county
Please help me keep her safe! There is so much more to the story of how he treated us, but the main concern now is that I keep her safe with me.
Organizer
Stephanie Linn
Organizer
Frostburg, MD