Help unite our family after 42 years

So I'm not sure how to start this, so I suppose I'll just dive right in... When i was 14 years old, my dad told me that three years before I was born, when he was 17 years old, he fathered a child, a little girl put up for adoption.

As I sat there listening to dad tell me this story, my mind started to venture off as any teenager would wonder what she was like, where she lived, what her name was, where she was all those years I needed someone to buy me a beer lol.

As my dad told me the story, he'd become very emotional, and tears fell from his eyes as if he was reliving that day.

As a teenager myself at this time, I didn't have much feeling about it all other than "ok, cool, I have a sibling somewhere," but now, as a father myself, I couldn't imagine having to let something go as unique as your own child. To not be able to see her, to hold her, to feel her reach for daddy's hand. That's my feeling as I am a father to a daughter.

When dad was telling me all this, he had informed me that when all of this happened back in the early 80s, he accepted that he had fathered a child and completely disagreed with the idea of adoption.

(I will not give the name where the adoption took place but feel free to contact me via Facebook messenger and we can have a conversation privately. I am asking for the support of friends, family and complete strangers here, so full disclosure is what you'll have from us. We just don't feel proper putting names out there on blast.)

Okay, back to the adoption, my dad was against it, and he even refused to sign over his rights.

Dad was still living at home as most 17 years old are, and besides being in a home with a mother and father, he also had siblings himself, and those siblings had children of their own. So dad had loads of help to raise this little girl on his own, and she could have been raised around loving grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and eventually a stepmother and siblings as well, and as life continues, she becomes an aunt herself.

So as dad is telling me this story, he comes to a point where he pauses, clearly frustrated at this part and proceeds to tell me that although he disagreed with the mother's decision to place the baby up for adoption and refuses to sign over his rights, he was told that with or without his consent this child was going up for adoption per the mother's decision.

So not only had my dad kept this from me until I was 14 years old and had that weigh on him all those years waiting until he felt it was the right time for me to know about all this, but he'd also been spending that 17 years of his life at this point wondering where "she" ended up.

Was she ok?

Was she happy?

Was she healthy?

What does she look like?

Does she know?

So many questions have been rushing through our minds for so many years already, and this story was told 25 years ago.

I know my father has thought about her countless times throughout the last 42 years of her life. As for me, not a week has gone by in the last 25 years of my life, now 39 years old, where I hadn't thought about what happened to my sister and where could she be?

There was one time I felt it was time to see what I could find out for myself, and I was given a phone number that led me nowhere. I wish I would've kept searching, but unfortunately, I did not. But like I said before, not a week went by where she wasn't on my mind.

Twenty-five years is a long time to know about something like this, and I'm only the brother, I'm not the daughter looking to find her biological father, I'm not the father wondering about his child... I'm just a brother.

My dads has gone 42 years wondering about his child.

On May 10th, 2022 I had just gotten home after running some errands, and my dad called.

When I answered the call, at first, it sounded broken and cutting out, but it wasn't. It was dad himself choking over his words; I couldn't even understand him. Dad doesn't cry often, and I've never heard him choked up that way before. My first thought was that someone close to us had died. I was preparing for what I was about to hear. He had been able to relax and talk to me. Unfortunately, what he said next wasn't what I was preparing to hear.

He paused for a minute, then said, "do you remember when you were 14, we were camping, and I told you about the baby put up for adoption?"

Already preparing for bad news, just from the sound of his voice and the words he was fighting through tears to say to me, I paused and said, "yeah..."

Then he told me the most fantastic thing I've ever heard!

"She found me."

I was totally and entirely at a loss for words; I just sat there speechless and dumbfounded. Holy crap! I have a sister. I knew that already but it's different you know? She always existed, but now she exists even more to me now.

For several moments neither dad nor myself had much to say. We just sat there saying, "wow"

So many questions come racing from the mind to your lips, but all you can ask is "how?" You're amazed, confused and thrilled all at the same time. You have so many questions, lol

So he tells me that my sister's friends had tracked him down using Google. What exactly were their search questions, no idea. But anyway, these ladies did a Google search and found where my dad works, and they called looking for him.

Dad said the gals were very professional, and as they started asking questions, he knew right away and was overwhelmed by emotion.

As they asked him questions, he told these ladies, "I think I am who you are looking for."

My sister, who had tracked down dad, was there with her friends as they made that phone call. Listening to the man who just confirmed he was her biological father after 42 years became emotional herself to where she was unable to speak.

Dad continued to talk with the friends and they made arrangements to call one another that same evening.

When my sister made that phone call that evening the call was answered by dad and when my sister said fighting back tears "is this jerry?" a choked up dad after 42 years said "yes"

When dad had called me earlier in the day to tell me about her friends contacting him he told me that she was going to call him that night and he would let me know how it went after they were done talking.

Waiting impatiently I wondered if she was horrible at returning calls like me and thinking "damn. she is my sister" lol

Finally around 8:30 that night he called me. Never in my life have I heard so much excitement in my dads voice. He kept saying to me "Allen she's so cool, shes just like us!"

He told me that the two of them talked on the phone for almost three hours only hanging up because her phone was dying. My dad has a daughter, my dad has more grandchildren. I have a sister, she has a brother. I have nephews, she now has niece and nephews.

It didn't matter at the moment what dad had to say because my mind was already going a million miles per hour as if this persons life collided with mine after so many years bringing out so much emotion over all the lost time together but more important, where do we go from here?

Dad sent me her picture that she sent him and she asked that he give me her phone number and asked that I text her.

It took me about an hour before I was able to send a text to her. There is a time difference between us and I really didn't know what to say, what does someone say in that situation?

I thought i'd try and be funny to break the ice but then again we don't know one another, she might not get my sense of humor? Then again dad said she was just like us so maybe she will...

I finally just broke down with an apology. I told her the same thing I told everyone reading this. I told her that not one week has gone by since I was 14 that I hadn't thought about her and told her I was sorry for not trying harder to find her years ago.

But when she had text me back it didn't matter to her. The 42 years we didn't have together was ok because we have from here on out.

We have spent the days sending countless texts getting to know one another and have spoken on the phone ourselves.

Shes real... she has a voice... so much emotion bursting past the surface as we learn about one another.

Since this contact began its been one of those situations where of course we have to meet. We are a family! Her adoptive family, friends and coworks are all very happy and supportive of her decision to learn more about where she came from.

My dad, stepmom, myself and my children are all very excited to meet her, her children and all her family.

My kids knew they have an auntie out there somewhere, I've told them the same story my dad told me when I was a teenager. They share the same excitement as I do. Then again they are kids so they are probably thinking "woohoo an auntie, presents for missed bdays!" lol i'm kidding :)

Anyway dad and I have been talking with one another as well as with my sister, stepmom and my kids all wanting to met one another. This isn't your typical surprise you can almost prepare for. This isn't something you really plan for, I mean its all happening at once, here and now.

My family aren't people to ask for help this way but after working out plans, directions, lodging and everything else, we ran into a wall. Thats when dad asked me about gofundme. Dads not well versed with the internet and technology so he asked me about gofundme and asked me if i thought it could help us to be reunited with her.

As life goes on there will of course be that dedicated fund for our new found family in Arkansas and their newly found family here in Washington. As you can see we are living a long way apart from eachother.

We are putting our faith in family, friends and complete strangers. Calling to those who have been in this situation before or knowing others who have been in this situation.

The father or mother who may have been in the same situation as a teenager wondering the same as our dad wondered.

You know that you have a sibling out there somewhere you may never find.

Knowing that your flesh and blood is out there and they may not even know themselves that they were adopted.

There are so many different feelings of emotion going through our family and hers. To ask "put yourself in our shoes" holds many meanings right now.

Are you the father in our dads shoes?

Are you the brother in my shoes wondering about his sister?

Are you the sister wondering about where you came from?

Are you the sister wondering about siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, mom and dad, stepmom and stepdads?

My family and I here in Washington and in Arkansas understand the troubling times we are facing at this moment in time so please if you feel compelled to donate and help our family, please do so.

If you need to think about it, pray about it, please do so and even if you are not in the position right now to donate we understand, we appreciate you taking time to hear our story and we ask that you share this with your family and friends. Share to social media or any other way you see fit to share our story.

Even one share gets us closer to reuniting our family.

Personally I was fearful with the amount we are trying to reach but to break it down as simply as possible we would be driving and there would be two cars taking us there and home. This figure was calculated to reunite us and bring us together as a family for the first time all together.

To get our dad and our stepmom along with myself and my three children to Arkansas to meet out daughter, sister and our auntie.

Every "share" gets us one step closer to meeting even if you're unable to make a donation.

I have donated numerous times to family, friends, friends or friends and strangers before and I have noticed that many people like to donate and remain annonomous.

If that is how you choose to donate we understand, however if you're willing to allow us to know who you are I would love to have you message me on Facebook messenger to thank you as well as keep you informed to how it went when we met and share our happiness with you and what your contribution helped make happen.

To anyone who donates, same thing. we'd love to know you as well so we know who you are and to thank you for selfless act of helping bring our families together and allow us to share with you the happiness you helped us all to have.

From the bottom of our hearts we thank you so very much

Dahl Family