- H
Brenda was kidnapped in September 2019 - and remains held in hostage in another country - we need your help to reunite her with her American family
The purpose of this funding is to help reunite poor little Brenda with her father and her family in America even in some partial manner. #BrendaNeedsHerDad
Full Story - Introduction
Dear Friends, Family, and kind-hearted people everywhere,
Thank you for your prayers, kind wishes, good vibes, and warmth and positive feelings you can put out into the Universe to help this cause. That's the number one most important thing and I thank you for that if you are reading this. If on top of that you wish to donate financially to this cause also, of course that helps with all the practical matters - and I greatly appreciate that, too! God bless you.
Background
My name is Michael and I am the father of a beautiful and smart 3 year old girl who I have not seen in person for over one year. I am from the US and I was working and living in Hong Kong and I met someone I thought was a wonderful woman, we married, and were blessed with a daughter. My wife requested that I start a green card process after she got pregnant as she had always been pushing me to live in the US.
I was an extremely involved father and was her primary caregiver. I cooked all her meals, cleaned up all her messes, washed her clothes, gave her baths, fed her bottles, got up with her in the morning and got her ready for her day and fed her breakfast, came home from work at lunch to feed her then, home by 6pm to feed her dinner and play with her until she slept at night, and up with her all night when she woke up. When I couldn't be there, I paid for a nanny to help my wife who had no idea how to care for a child and was too afraid to do it on her own. But there was nothing I loved more than spending time with my daughter.
In June 2019 my company transferred me back to my home country of the US.
For some reason, my wife suddenly seemed to have a change of heart and expressed concerns about the move but in the end she agreed, packed up all her things, got on a plane with our daughter and I, moved to California where we picked out an apartment and we signed a 1 year lease together for our new home where our daughter Brenda was so happy to finally have her own space to get her toys out that we could never have in small little 400 square foot Hong Kong apartments.
After 2 months of living in the US, my wife received notice that her US Permanent Resident Visa (green card) was approved and she needed to return to Hong Kong for a final medical check and interview at the US embassy there. My wife told my family and I that she would fly to HK, get her green card, and come back to the US right after. She was supposed to be gone only 3-4 weeks and asked if she could bring our 2 year old daughter to visit grandma and grandpa in Hong Kong while she did that. Of course I agreed.
The Kidnapping
After being in Hong Kong for 4 weeks, my wife received her US Permanent Resident Visa and could fly home, but when I asked her what date I should book the plane tickets, she suddenly refused to come home. I had been paying her retired parents monthly support for the last 3 years we had been married and when I logged into our bank account, my wife had completely emptied it as I had given her my ATM card and password for emergencies - stealing that money, and I knew something was very wrong. I let her know that she was keeping our child in Hong Kong against my wishes and without my consent and I begged her to come home - she ignored me.
I continued trying to plead with her and send messages of love and support and understanding, as I truly loved - and still love - my wife, and hoped to salvage the marriage. There is nothing I would want more than for my daughter to have her mommy and daddy in her life every day, and I never wanted to be anything other than a good husband and father. Unfortunately my wife continued to ignore me the next 2 months - so I purchased plane tickets home for my wife and daughter, flew to Hong Kong, and begged her and family to at least meet and talk to me about saving our family.
They refused to meet and talk to me. They refused to allow me to see my daughter - I kept pushing and pushing and finally was able to meet her but only under a supervised visit at a social worker center as if I was some violent criminal, and not the victim of this crime.
I let my wife know that if she refused to come home, reunite our family, or at least not allow me to spend time with our daughter, I would need to seek legal assistance. My wife refused again. I sought help from lawyers.
The Hague Kidnapping Trials
I quickly got an education in what is International Kidnapping - what my wife had done is the textbook definition of International Abduction and the exact reason that the Hague Treaty was created. My lawyers assured me that our case was open and shut and clearly a case of kidnapping and 99% chance we would win if we moved forward as we had overwhelming evidence of what happened.
Unfortunately the way the Hague Treaty is set up is that the trials must be conducted in the country of the kidnapper. And of course the court and judges in Hong Kong are highly prejudiced in favor of mothers over fathers, and for Hong Kong citizens over foreigners. The judge in the first trial in January 2020 herself said she had no time and would not review any of the evidence and simply ruled that a child belongs with her mother and we lost the trial. That trial began my legal debt - and cost $205,000 USD. But what wouldn't you spend trying to get your child back?
I begged my wife to reconsider her position, I offered to pay her $3000 USD salary every month if she would spend at least part of her time in the US. She refused to even spend 1 day, and refused to let me have any access to my daughter.
So we went to an appeal trial. I got more expert lawyers involved in Hong Kong who assured me that what the first judge did was absolutely illegal refusing to review or analyze evidence and we were at least 80% certain to win on an appeal. Unfortunately the appellate judges stated it was not their job to review evidence so they also refused to even look at the evidence presented and simply stated that they trust their colleague judge and would not overturn the case. We lost again. That trial in April 2020 cost $148,000 USD.
I hired the global leading expert in Hague Abduction Trials in the UK to review and see if there was any chance to go to a final appeal, or have our case reviewed in the US or some objective country like the UK or Geneva. He said it was hopeless and nothing more could be done. That cost $30,000 USD.
Total cost for the justice system failing me: $383,000 USD.
Divorce Proceedings to get mandated access
With my wife having kidnapped our child, and stolen the money out of my bank account, and then the courts not be willing to do anything to help to remedy that kidnapping - and my wife refusing to let me have any access to our daughter, the only way I could ever hope to see my daughter again was unfortunately to divorce my wife and get court mandated access to our daughter.
I pleaded with my wife for a year to come to any agreement. I offered and paid 3 times for plane tickets home, sent dozens of legal, signed, notarized agreements of support if she would simply agree to allow our daughter to spend 1 month in the Summer with her American family and 2 weeks at Christmas, and allow me videocalls when I was not in Hong Kong. My wife refused every offer and refused all communication to discuss it.
I had no choice but to again hire lawyers and begin a process to try to serve my wife for a court managed divorce trial. Since then I have had to hire private investigators to stake out her apartment to try to serve her and she has refused to come out of the apartment or let our daughter come out of the apartment and see any sunlight in the last 6 weeks as she refuses to let any proceedings go forward. This alone has already run up a legal bill of $78,000 USD and the divorce trial has not even begun - and in the meantime I have no access to my daughter.
Current Status as of January 2021
It has been 1 year since I have seen my daughter. My wife is holding her hostage in a small dirty apartment with lead paint peeling off the walls and ceiling and will not allow her to go outside as she tries to avoid service. She even refused to allow delivery of Christmas presents I sent to our daughter. The legal bills so far are totaling $461,000 USD and estimated costs for a full trial are at least $150,000 USD and likely more. I have already spent my entire life savings, and wracking up debt faster than I will ever be able to pay this back. What my wife has done is a crime and she will never have to pay for it. In fact the legal system will eventually have me paying for her spousal support for years to reward her for the crime. And forget me as her victim, the saddest is our daughter who has had her loving and devoted father stolen from her life - losing her chance to grow up bilingual with the love from both her Hong Kong and American families. I can't ever explain why my wife did this - I will never understand it. I can't imagine hurting anyone like this, but I guess you can't explain crazy, and she clearly has some severe mental issues I was not aware of when I married her.
A Plea for Help to the World
All I want now is to put this legal mess behind me, and to find a way to get back to my daughter. Because of COVID-19 Hong Kong has refused entry to all foreigners without a legal residence in Hong Kong (which I do not have and cannot get now) since Feb 2020. So I cannot even travel there now, but hopefully after vaccines will help that maybe by the end of 2021 Hong Kong will open its borders and allow visits. By that time I hope some progress is made in the divorce case and I will have some mandated access and I can make sure to be a present father in her life again. In order to do that, I need to pay my lawyers who have been working with what I could pay them as I go along but I need to pay off this debt. I know it is not your responsibility, it is mine - and I will always work to pay this off. But for the first time in my adult life I am asking for help - as this is something I never could have expected. I could never have expected this kind of betrayal from someone who promised to be my life partner - this kind of crime against a sweet little girl which will emotionally scar her for life, this travesty of injustice from the Hong Kong courts, and the insane amount of cost from the legal fees.
I beg you, if you have read this far, please consider a donation of whatever you feel you can provide - I know I will end up spending likely $750K USD or more on this and I just don't have it - I have never had that kind of money. I don't expect donations to cover all of it, but my goal was to try to raise $500K from donations so that I would need to only pay $250K, which is about 10 years of savings for me already. So, I beg you to donate what you can and say your prayers for Brenda to be reunited with her father and her American family some day. She deserves it!
Please share this link with your friends and family!
Thank you to please share with anyone you know - I hope that crowdfunding with even small donations but from enough people will make the difference. Every little bit helps! I just want this sweet little girl to be able to fall asleep on her daddy's lap again like she did every day the first 2 years of her life. Thank you!
The purpose of this funding is to help reunite poor little Brenda with her father and her family in America even in some partial manner. #BrendaNeedsHerDad
Full Story - Introduction
Dear Friends, Family, and kind-hearted people everywhere,
Thank you for your prayers, kind wishes, good vibes, and warmth and positive feelings you can put out into the Universe to help this cause. That's the number one most important thing and I thank you for that if you are reading this. If on top of that you wish to donate financially to this cause also, of course that helps with all the practical matters - and I greatly appreciate that, too! God bless you.
Background
My name is Michael and I am the father of a beautiful and smart 3 year old girl who I have not seen in person for over one year. I am from the US and I was working and living in Hong Kong and I met someone I thought was a wonderful woman, we married, and were blessed with a daughter. My wife requested that I start a green card process after she got pregnant as she had always been pushing me to live in the US.
I was an extremely involved father and was her primary caregiver. I cooked all her meals, cleaned up all her messes, washed her clothes, gave her baths, fed her bottles, got up with her in the morning and got her ready for her day and fed her breakfast, came home from work at lunch to feed her then, home by 6pm to feed her dinner and play with her until she slept at night, and up with her all night when she woke up. When I couldn't be there, I paid for a nanny to help my wife who had no idea how to care for a child and was too afraid to do it on her own. But there was nothing I loved more than spending time with my daughter.In June 2019 my company transferred me back to my home country of the US.
For some reason, my wife suddenly seemed to have a change of heart and expressed concerns about the move but in the end she agreed, packed up all her things, got on a plane with our daughter and I, moved to California where we picked out an apartment and we signed a 1 year lease together for our new home where our daughter Brenda was so happy to finally have her own space to get her toys out that we could never have in small little 400 square foot Hong Kong apartments.
After 2 months of living in the US, my wife received notice that her US Permanent Resident Visa (green card) was approved and she needed to return to Hong Kong for a final medical check and interview at the US embassy there. My wife told my family and I that she would fly to HK, get her green card, and come back to the US right after. She was supposed to be gone only 3-4 weeks and asked if she could bring our 2 year old daughter to visit grandma and grandpa in Hong Kong while she did that. Of course I agreed.
The Kidnapping
After being in Hong Kong for 4 weeks, my wife received her US Permanent Resident Visa and could fly home, but when I asked her what date I should book the plane tickets, she suddenly refused to come home. I had been paying her retired parents monthly support for the last 3 years we had been married and when I logged into our bank account, my wife had completely emptied it as I had given her my ATM card and password for emergencies - stealing that money, and I knew something was very wrong. I let her know that she was keeping our child in Hong Kong against my wishes and without my consent and I begged her to come home - she ignored me.
I continued trying to plead with her and send messages of love and support and understanding, as I truly loved - and still love - my wife, and hoped to salvage the marriage. There is nothing I would want more than for my daughter to have her mommy and daddy in her life every day, and I never wanted to be anything other than a good husband and father. Unfortunately my wife continued to ignore me the next 2 months - so I purchased plane tickets home for my wife and daughter, flew to Hong Kong, and begged her and family to at least meet and talk to me about saving our family.
They refused to meet and talk to me. They refused to allow me to see my daughter - I kept pushing and pushing and finally was able to meet her but only under a supervised visit at a social worker center as if I was some violent criminal, and not the victim of this crime.
I let my wife know that if she refused to come home, reunite our family, or at least not allow me to spend time with our daughter, I would need to seek legal assistance. My wife refused again. I sought help from lawyers.
The Hague Kidnapping Trials
I quickly got an education in what is International Kidnapping - what my wife had done is the textbook definition of International Abduction and the exact reason that the Hague Treaty was created. My lawyers assured me that our case was open and shut and clearly a case of kidnapping and 99% chance we would win if we moved forward as we had overwhelming evidence of what happened.
Unfortunately the way the Hague Treaty is set up is that the trials must be conducted in the country of the kidnapper. And of course the court and judges in Hong Kong are highly prejudiced in favor of mothers over fathers, and for Hong Kong citizens over foreigners. The judge in the first trial in January 2020 herself said she had no time and would not review any of the evidence and simply ruled that a child belongs with her mother and we lost the trial. That trial began my legal debt - and cost $205,000 USD. But what wouldn't you spend trying to get your child back?
I begged my wife to reconsider her position, I offered to pay her $3000 USD salary every month if she would spend at least part of her time in the US. She refused to even spend 1 day, and refused to let me have any access to my daughter.
So we went to an appeal trial. I got more expert lawyers involved in Hong Kong who assured me that what the first judge did was absolutely illegal refusing to review or analyze evidence and we were at least 80% certain to win on an appeal. Unfortunately the appellate judges stated it was not their job to review evidence so they also refused to even look at the evidence presented and simply stated that they trust their colleague judge and would not overturn the case. We lost again. That trial in April 2020 cost $148,000 USD.
I hired the global leading expert in Hague Abduction Trials in the UK to review and see if there was any chance to go to a final appeal, or have our case reviewed in the US or some objective country like the UK or Geneva. He said it was hopeless and nothing more could be done. That cost $30,000 USD.
Total cost for the justice system failing me: $383,000 USD.
Divorce Proceedings to get mandated access
With my wife having kidnapped our child, and stolen the money out of my bank account, and then the courts not be willing to do anything to help to remedy that kidnapping - and my wife refusing to let me have any access to our daughter, the only way I could ever hope to see my daughter again was unfortunately to divorce my wife and get court mandated access to our daughter.
I pleaded with my wife for a year to come to any agreement. I offered and paid 3 times for plane tickets home, sent dozens of legal, signed, notarized agreements of support if she would simply agree to allow our daughter to spend 1 month in the Summer with her American family and 2 weeks at Christmas, and allow me videocalls when I was not in Hong Kong. My wife refused every offer and refused all communication to discuss it.
I had no choice but to again hire lawyers and begin a process to try to serve my wife for a court managed divorce trial. Since then I have had to hire private investigators to stake out her apartment to try to serve her and she has refused to come out of the apartment or let our daughter come out of the apartment and see any sunlight in the last 6 weeks as she refuses to let any proceedings go forward. This alone has already run up a legal bill of $78,000 USD and the divorce trial has not even begun - and in the meantime I have no access to my daughter.
Current Status as of January 2021
It has been 1 year since I have seen my daughter. My wife is holding her hostage in a small dirty apartment with lead paint peeling off the walls and ceiling and will not allow her to go outside as she tries to avoid service. She even refused to allow delivery of Christmas presents I sent to our daughter. The legal bills so far are totaling $461,000 USD and estimated costs for a full trial are at least $150,000 USD and likely more. I have already spent my entire life savings, and wracking up debt faster than I will ever be able to pay this back. What my wife has done is a crime and she will never have to pay for it. In fact the legal system will eventually have me paying for her spousal support for years to reward her for the crime. And forget me as her victim, the saddest is our daughter who has had her loving and devoted father stolen from her life - losing her chance to grow up bilingual with the love from both her Hong Kong and American families. I can't ever explain why my wife did this - I will never understand it. I can't imagine hurting anyone like this, but I guess you can't explain crazy, and she clearly has some severe mental issues I was not aware of when I married her.
A Plea for Help to the World
All I want now is to put this legal mess behind me, and to find a way to get back to my daughter. Because of COVID-19 Hong Kong has refused entry to all foreigners without a legal residence in Hong Kong (which I do not have and cannot get now) since Feb 2020. So I cannot even travel there now, but hopefully after vaccines will help that maybe by the end of 2021 Hong Kong will open its borders and allow visits. By that time I hope some progress is made in the divorce case and I will have some mandated access and I can make sure to be a present father in her life again. In order to do that, I need to pay my lawyers who have been working with what I could pay them as I go along but I need to pay off this debt. I know it is not your responsibility, it is mine - and I will always work to pay this off. But for the first time in my adult life I am asking for help - as this is something I never could have expected. I could never have expected this kind of betrayal from someone who promised to be my life partner - this kind of crime against a sweet little girl which will emotionally scar her for life, this travesty of injustice from the Hong Kong courts, and the insane amount of cost from the legal fees.
I beg you, if you have read this far, please consider a donation of whatever you feel you can provide - I know I will end up spending likely $750K USD or more on this and I just don't have it - I have never had that kind of money. I don't expect donations to cover all of it, but my goal was to try to raise $500K from donations so that I would need to only pay $250K, which is about 10 years of savings for me already. So, I beg you to donate what you can and say your prayers for Brenda to be reunited with her father and her American family some day. She deserves it!
Please share this link with your friends and family!
Thank you to please share with anyone you know - I hope that crowdfunding with even small donations but from enough people will make the difference. Every little bit helps! I just want this sweet little girl to be able to fall asleep on her daddy's lap again like she did every day the first 2 years of her life. Thank you!