I am requesting assistance with a retention fee for legal representation. The biological father of my son, T.J., is seeking full custody, and it is critical that I secure proper counsel to protect my child. This message focuses solely on what the father has done to T.J., beginning from the time I became pregnant.
When I found out I was pregnant with T.J., the father tried to force me into having an abortion. He sent me $5,000 and even scheduled an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. He told me that if I went through with the pregnancy, he would resent me for the rest of my life and be a terrible father. I chose to keep my child, but things only became worse from there.
I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum during the pregnancy and was confined to a house with no air conditioning in the middle of summer. During that time, I was physically abused — thrown into walls, locked in bathrooms, pushed around — and constantly hospitalized as a result of both my condition and the violence I endured from him.
When my son was born, his father stayed only the first night in the hospital and then left. T.J. was unable to regulate his glucose and was admitted to the NICU. Despite the seriousness of the situation, his father did not visit again and said it wasn’t worth his time.
When we returned home, months went by where I was the sole caregiver for T.J., even though his father was living in the same house. I was so physically and emotionally exhausted that I once couldn’t be woken up while holding my baby — a terrifying situation that resulted directly from carrying the entire burden of parenting alone.
The first physical incident involving T.J. happened when he was just 2 months old. I was breastfeeding him, and his father became enraged over something unrelated. He demanded I stop feeding T.J. and put him down. When I refused, he began pushing me around the house — while I was still holding my child. That was not the only time this happened.
I returned to work as soon as I could because I have always been the primary provider for my child. I regularly worked 16-hour shifts, from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m., to support us.
I’ve already described what happened during and immediately after my pregnancy. What follows is a continuation of his behavior since then.
I would often have to leave work multiple times during the day just to check on T.J. because his father would leave him in his crib, place a laptop nearby, and play video games—completely neglecting his needs. T.J. would be left crying, and each time I had to return to work, he would scream, not wanting me to leave.
There were countless times where his father would lose his temper, screaming at me so violently that I had to remove T.J. from the room to protect him. I lived in constant fear of what might eventually happen to my son. Because of this, I made the decision to move back to Texas.
But even after we moved, the neglect didn’t stop.
His father began missing scheduled pickups, showing up late for drop-offs, and refusing to care for T.J. when he was sick. At times, he would flat-out ignore T.J.’s illness and return him to me, saying, “I didn’t notice.” Every time T.J. is returned to me, he is overheated, hungry, and thirsty. When his father would come to pick him up, T.J. would scream and run away—he clearly did not want to go with him.
My son began displaying violent behavior toward himself and others, which was not normal. He was emotionally distressed.
When I went into labor with my second son, I arranged ahead of time for T.J. to be picked up by his father. I called over 20 times—he never answered. Despite all my planning, I ended up having to worry about my toddler while in active labor. After giving birth, I had T.J. back with me in less than a day. He is very attached to me, and instead of being able to rest and heal, I was chasing around a toddler, picking him up, and ultimately re-injuring myself. I bled for over four months postpartum because his father refused to help. He had already made other plans and saw no point in taking T.J.
I asked him multiple times to get health insurance for T.J. through his employer, and he refused. He also refuses to take T.J. on days he has to work because it’s “too tiring.” He consistently chooses convenience over responsibility.
Now, after failing to care for our son for years, he wants full custody. He’s using his grandparents’ money to hire a lawyer and trying to intimidate me through legal pressure.
Meanwhile, I have stepped up for my child in every way I know how. I have been his emotional, physical, and financial support system. I continue to grow every day as a mother, and everything I do is with T.J.’s well-being in mind. I am not fighting to win — I am fighting to protect my son from a life of instability, neglect, and emotional trauma. Thank you.