tldr; my brother had 2 strokes in 2019, is completely dependant, his entire body has atrophied due to hospital negligence and lack of access to therapies; my mother (71y/o) is his sole caregiver and has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer and early stage heart failure and can no longer support my brother on her own; we are pleading for funds to assist my mother in caring for my brother, as well as funds to help my brother access consistent, quality therapies for his mobility disorder and mutism.

Thank you for considering donating to my family's GFM. As many people know, my older brother Patrick suffered 2 concurrent strokes in 2019 at the young age of 27. For those of you who don't know, he was found unresponsive on July 2nd 2019, and first responders assumed he OD'd. In the ER of St Michaels, one doctor suggested to my mother that she "not get her hopes up". His kidneys and heart were failing, but were stabilized. However he did not wake up after the sedation wore off. He had a brain scan and it showed that his brain had swollen to a deadly degree. He was immediately rushed into surgery to remove a piece of his skull to allow room for the swelling, and then my mother was told by the same doctor that "he will be a vegetable, IF he wakes up".

After 10 unbearable days, he opened his eyes and exited his coma. The doctors said this didn't mean much - people can be brain dead and still open their eyes and look at you, so they said we had to watch for conscious movement. After 3 weeks, of which my mother was present every night and day, i remember asking him if he remembered watching Always Sunny in Philly (our favourite show to watch together), and he gave a thumbs up. I asked him to do it again and he did. I asked him to do it twice and he did. Not only did he show conscious movement but he also showed that he could still understand us and recall memories. He was NOT brain dead!

But his entire body was affected. He had necrosis on his feet and legs and buttcheeks, he had lost all fine motor skills and suffered severe spasms. His time at St Michaels, and then following at Toronto Rehab, ended up setting him up for complete failure in his recovery. St Mikes had written him off as a lost cause and took NO measures to prevent his muscle contraction & shortening or his muscular atrophy, they provided no resources for us to look into it ourselves, they didnt even equip him with a bed boot for his feet, which would have saved the muscles in his feet from getting the contraction in his foot. The same contraction that led to his movement disorder, the same movement disorder that robs him of every ounce of independence and autonomy over his body. This journey has been nothing but a tornado of sadness and confusion and loss and disappointment and stress and heartbreak and grief for my family. But Patrick is still with us, and he is optimistic, and for that our gratitude is totally unending.

We cant do this alone anymore. My mother is Patricks ONLY caregiver. She is 71, and was just diagnosed with cancer for the third time (thyroid) AND early stage heart failure. She also suffers from atrial fibrillation, diabetes, low blood pressure, asthma, and vascular disease. She is in no shape to be caring for another human, especially a fully dependant & fully grown man with exceptionally high needs. She lives in a 1 bedroom Toronto Community Housing townhouse and sleeps on a small couch. She is responsible for transferring him from chair to bed, for changing his diapers, carrying him up and down 2 flights of stairs, doing their laundry in the building across the street in every season, feeding him, keeping the house clean, running errands, booking his appointments, and dealing with the cockroaches and bedbugs and mice in her Toronto Community Housing complex, just to name a few things - on top of trying to care for herself, which she is desperately falling behind on.

Patrick needs proper therapies, and my mother needs proper support. Me and my other 2 siblings are no where near in the position to help to the degree she needs. My mother was a beloved elementary school teacher at St Denis Catholic School, so she survives off of a pretty meagre pension, and Pat is on ODSP. ODSP has been of no help in covering any of Pats special needs. Patrick is suffering extreme weightloss and muscle atrophy and they only JUST approved him for a special diet allowance so that he can afford high calorie Boost drinks. We havent even been able to find a doctor or hospital with a scale that can accommodate a wheel chair, so we dont even have a way to measure and track his weight at the moment.

Patrick suffers selective mutism due to the pain and discomfort and stress of his body and situation. He hasnt been able to speak for over 3 years without using his talking machine. He could speak okay-ish for the first 2 years, but without speech therapy and consistent support, as well as building stress from his situation, he lost his ability to speak. With the help of a speech pathologist and a psychologist, this IS something he can recover from, but those services and not covered whatsoever. He was discharged from Toronto Rehab with no family doctor, no neurologist, no resources for further care. Nothing. He also suffers from impacted stools which has landed him in the hospital ER where doctors have to manually remove the stools. This could be avoided if he had access to a consistent physiotherapist to help move his legs and stimulate his bowels.

We recently paid $4000 for dynasplints for Pat, which are meant to help correct the muscle contraction in his foot that was caused by the negligence of St Mikes. However, the benefits are not fully realized without intervention from a physiotherapist and occupational therapist on a consistent, longterm basis.

He's had deep brain stimulation surgery to try and address his incredibly painful body spasms, as well as botox treatments, which only helped a little bit. With access to proper therapies, the spasms can be treated much better. He also suffers from oral dysphasia, which means his ability to chew and swallow is greatly impacted, which leads to choking hazards. He must be hand fed very carefully - this can also be addressed with therapy.

Basically, a LOT of the issues Patrick suffers from, both physical and psychological, CAN be alleviated, he just needs a LOT of consistent, quality, specialized care, and our family is desperate to take some of the caregiving stress off of my mother so that she too can have a quality of life and time to tend to her own illnesses and disabilities. So after almost 6 years of trying to manage this on our own; we are finally asking for support from our community.

These funds will go towards:

* 1 year of the following therapies on a regular basis: Occupational therapy, Physical therapy, Speech Pathology, Psychology, and Psychotherapy.

* Respite coverage for my mothers cancer surgery and recovery - She will be unable to care for Pat for 3 weeks in August, and this will be the first thing funds will go towards.

* Private PSW's - the government PSW's are only present for meal time and do not help with any other chores or activities - on top of the fact that they have brought bedbugs in from other homes that have then infested Patricks bed - his mattress has had to be replaced twice. The govt PSWs will no longer shower him without my mother helping to support him, which is still awful on her body. Having access to a private PSW would also mean that, with their help, we could all go out as a family and be able to give Pat some quality of life with his family.

* Emergency respite care for Patrick in the event my mother is hospitalized (this has happened several times and its an absolutely terrifying nightmare)

* Pest control - TCH does nothing to prevent pests (bedbugs, roaches, mice) from entering and inhabiting the townhouses my mother lives in, so she has to routinely have the house treated. During these times she has to take Patrick out of the house for an entire day, which is incredibly difficult for both of them.

* Laundry service - my mother has to go across the street to her buildings laundry room to do laundry nearly every day due to Patricks incontinence, which is terrible for her heart. Laundry service would alleviate a monumental physical stress off of her shoulders.

* Transportation costs - wheeltrans is trash. absolutely trash. My mother has to pay out of pocket for wheelchair taxis, and if Pat is going to therapies on a consistent basis, they will be travelling much more and will need that extra support.

* Housekeeping - its becoming impossible for my mother to keep up with keeping the house clean and safe and sanitary, on top of caring for Pat 24/7. Having a weekly housekeeper would be life-changing for her.

* Access to Variety Village - VV is a safe haven for many physically disabled people. It offers programs with personal trainers who are equipped to deal with high needs individuals like Patrick. It would also allow him to socialize, which is something he rarely gets access to outside of his neighbours and family.

* Registered Disability Savings Plan - to be able to put a small chunk of money into this account would ensure some security for Patrick once he turns 49 - the government will also match the money that is put in, which would be a huge benefit to him and incredible peace of mind for my mother.

We will be keeping this fundraiser updated consistently and transparently with news of our next steps, what we've been able to tackle, & what still needs to be addressed. We are so lucky to still have Pat around, and we are so grateful to be surrounded by such loving support systems. We are asking to lean on you now more than ever, and your care and generosity will go directly towards bettering the lives of 2 individuals who desperately need and deserve it (and in turn, their family too).

Please reach out to me (Colleen Kunkel) via facebook with any questions - or if you would like to donate directly to my mother, i can provide her e transfer address

We love you all dearly - thank you for supporting and sharing. Thank you thank you thank you!