As I sit here trying to find the right words to write this I realize there is no right words. I’m sitting next to my husband hospital bed listening to the beeps and alarms go off through out the day and night, no longer wishing they would stop but praying to God to keep hearing them. On Sunday October 12th I took my husband to our local hospital for excessive vomiting, which we’ve done before in the past. This time it was different, and for the first time through my husbands almost 2 year cancer battle I was told of a “date or time” something no one is prepared for but surely not us, not now, not all of the sudden. Hearing the words spoken that my husband has weeks to live and maybe not even that has consumed my entire thoughts. We were accepted and transferred Thursday October 16th to Atlanta to the cancer center to where he has had all his cancer treatments and where the doctors know him. As I waited for the doctors to make their rounds I’ve had this anxious feeling like I’m waiting on something but nothing is coming. Here they did offered him IV nutrients which I’m praising God for, but again we were told the same thing, a couple of weeks and maybe not even that. We have a big beautiful family at home, together we have 6 kids, 5 whom live at home, I have a stepson Chance that’s 7 that lives in Atlanta. At home we have our baby Maverick whom will turn 2 this Sunday October 19th which is in two short days and we will not be home, Maverick was only three months old when we found out Mike had stage 4 liver cancer. We have Jase whom is 11, Phoebe who is 13 and her birthday is three short days after Mavericks October 22 she will turn 14 and again we will not be home. Ja’Mari is 15 and Chloe is 18 she graduated last year. I ask for peace and comfort at this time and a true miracle from God. We are not ones who ever ask for anything but right now I feel so lost and so uncertain of even what tomorrow brings. I know one thing for certain is I refuse to leave my husband side, if you can please say a prayer for my husband the hardest I’m trying to understand is he’s not ready to let go. Everything has hit us so fast and so hard we are taking it moment by moment. We do not have any life insurance set up for him and I’m not at all prepared especially for letting go. I pray as you read this you see in your heart to help us, we may be complete strangers but as a 36yr old wife help my 37 yr old husband to lay that worry down so he knows we will be taken care of and we don’t have to worry about any arrangements or finical worries at such a hard time, as I will be leaning on the Lord for all my healing and peace I’m not sure how long it will take for me to be okay. Again thank you for taking the time to read this, it may not be the best or the right words but it’s coming from the bottom of my heart and soul. For as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

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