Honoring our Mother, Julia R. Carter

On Wednesday, October 14, our beloved mother, Julia R. Carter, was murdered during a domestic violence incident. Despite ongoing search efforts led by local law enforcement, with assistance from federal agencies and many others, her remains have not yet been located. The investigation remains ongoing, and our family continues to face the heartbreaking uncertainty of not knowing when we will be able to bring our mother home and lay her to rest.

We never imagined we would find ourselves in this position. We are trying to stay strong for one another while facing a loss and uncertainty that no family should ever have to experience.

We are raising funds to help our family navigate the overwhelming emotional, financial, and practical challenges we are facing during this devastating time. From traveling to be together and assisting with search-related efforts to preparing for final arrangements when the time comes, there are many unexpected expenses and difficult decisions ahead of us.

As her children, we are struggling to process this unimaginable loss while facing the painful reality that we have not yet been able to bring our mother home. Without that opportunity, finding even a small measure of closure or being able to say our final goodbyes remain out of reach.

Our mother was so much more than just a mother. She was a daughter, a sister, a Nana, and a cherished member of a large community of family, coworkers, and friends. Her life touched many people, and the loss of her presence has left an immeasurable void in the lives of those who love her.

Julia leaves behind three children: Connor, Shelby, and Simon Ingram.

I am James, also known as Connor, a disabled veteran, father, and brother. My sister Shelby is currently navigating this tragedy while carrying what would have been our mother’s sixth grandchild. Our youngest sibling, Simon, is also facing the heartbreak of losing our mother under such devastating circumstances while trying to secure a new home for his family. Each of us are trying to process this tragedy while supporting one another, caring for our own families, and managing the responsibilities of everyday life.

We are all doing our best to remain strong for our families, both emotionally and financially. However, the unexpected circumstances surrounding our mother’s death have placed an enormous burden on us during a time when we should be able to focus on grieving, supporting one another, and honoring her life.

As a disabled veteran currently living out of state, I will be traveling home to be with my family, support my siblings, and help us navigate the difficult road ahead. Throughout my military service, I learned the importance of standing beside those who need you most. Right now, my family needs me, and being there for them is my priority, despite the personal and financial challenges that come with making this journey.

We are three children who have suddenly found ourselves facing one of the hardest moments of our lives. We are grieving the loss of our mother, trying to hold one another together, and making important decisions while waiting for the opportunity to bring her home. The uncertainty surrounding her remains have made an already devastating situation even more difficult, leaving us unable to begin the process of laying her to rest and honoring her wishes as we would hope to.

Our goal is to give our mother the dignity and respect she deserves, take care of the responsibilities that lie ahead, and come together as a family to honor her life. When the time comes, we hope to make the necessary arrangements to lay her to rest in a meaningful way and give our family the opportunity to grieve together.

We welcome any and all forms of support during this incredibly difficult time, whether through prayers, spiritual support, emotional encouragement, or financial contributions. Right now, the financial burden has become one of our greatest challenges. Any assistance will help ease that burden and allow us to focus on what matters most: supporting one another, bringing our mother home, and honoring her memory.

If you are unable to contribute financially, sharing our fundraiser with others would mean more to us than words can express. Every act of kindness, every prayer, every encouraging message, and every contribution reminds us that we are not alone in this painful journey.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to everyone who has reached out, offered support, kept our family in your thoughts and prayers, and stood beside us during this unimaginable tragedy. We are deeply grateful for every one of you.

With love and gratitude,

Connor, Shelby, and Simon

Julia R. Carter’s children