Help My Uncle Rebuild His Life and Fight Against Abuse

I’m reaching out today on behalf of someone who has always been the light in our family—my uncle. A kind, intelligent, selfless, and loving man who once thrived as a successful software engineer and doting father is now struggling to meet his most basic needs. He is battling not only to survive, but to be heard.

Currently, he is unable to work and cannot afford food for himself and other basic needs- even rent for a home to live in. Over the past few years, my uncle has been a victim of narcissistic abuse by his wife. He faced wrongful and false accusations of physical abuse, which he has never done. This caused massive destruction over his life and his stability, which he constantly poured out dedicated work for. These accusations were not even investigated- not a simple inspection was done by the police, making him a victim to the injustice of the law and system. He tried to speak up, tried to vouch for himself as he was innocent, but he was silenced and detained. He spent days in jail, an environment that he should not have been in. The justice system has preconceived ideas that a man can never be a victim of abuse, but this is very wrong. Many men have been victims of abuse, and this was recently seen through a case like Johnny Depp's. My uncle would love to win this case like Mr. Depp, but he has lost everything and is unable to financially fight for his innocence. His wife has taken advantage of this system's flaw and took premeditated steps to greatly destroy my uncle's life. Now, he has lost everything that he has worked hard for- things like his car and house that is now taken by his wife. As an immigrant, he put his dreams on pause and worked 2 jobs so that his wife could chase her own goals and dreams. My uncle has spoken about being a member of a group of men who have become victims to narcissistic abuse. These men are not only silenced, but most of them have ended up homeless or have committed suicide due to the massive emotional and financial damage narcissistic abuse can cause. As his family, we are constantly praying and working so that this does not become his story. My uncle is constantly being judged wrongly, already being titled guilty for a crime he never committed. Because the system makes it so that a person is guilty until proven innocent, my uncle now struggles to reclaim his clear name because of a lack of open mindedness and true desire for understanding from the system. This was very unexpected to us- his family- because growing up, he was never once viewed as aggressive or mischievous. Not even a single traffic violation to his name. He was an uncle who loved to compliment his nieces and nephews on their talents and work, and generously gifted and splurged on his family. Not only family but friends, coworkers, and ex-relationships have vouched for his character. He was very reliable and safe to be with. Every conversation with him was comfortable and filled with laughter. He was never expected to be in this situation. It was unimaginable. For years, he kept his pain hidden. The false reports were constant and so were his arrests. It is because of this that he was terminated from his high-paying job as a software engineer. His unjustified criminal records have made it difficult for him to get work which he has been constantly trying to get. He has attended many job fairs and took advantage of every opportunity available, but it has been very hard. His job as a software engineer meant a lot to him as he came from a family of engineers, and this was something he worked hard for. He had earned a very prestigious title in his company, one that was only achieved because of his dedication, talent and commitment. For 2 years, his savings were able to sustain his basic needs even without work, but resources were slowly depleted. It was just recently when he decided to reach out to his family, which he was even conflicted on because he thought of us first even in such situation. Every week, we pay for my uncle's food and rent but our family can only do so much, given our respective needs. His instability and unjust treatment is not the only thing he is battling. He is deeply hurting emotionally because he cannot visit his sons who he loves endlessly. He is being stripped away from them as his children are being alienated from him by his wife. Father's day was very vulnerable for him and now he is at his lowest facing depression. Everyday, he communicates about how he desires to reconnect with them again. His love and worries for them is very evident in the way he talks about his children. He simply yearns for human connection and support. We are hoping to raise enough for his basic needs so that he may find stability in life again. So that he may rebuild his life and find hope once more. That is our priority. We are also hoping to raise more money to support him with his legal situation so that he may be free from the false allegations and so his voice will be heard. He deserves to regain the life he built for himself and deserves to finally gain justice from the justice system.

No one should be punished for something they didn’t do. No one should lose their children, their career, and their dignity without the chance to defend themselves.

If you can give—even a small amount—you’re helping bring justice to someone who desperately needs it. If you can’t donate right now, please consider sharing this story. Every voice counts. We have chosen to keep his name anonymous because of personal and legal reasons. On the cover photo is an artwork that my uncle has crafted. He is a passionate artist.

From the bottom of our hearts—thank you.