Mommy’s Finances and Memorial

It doesn’t feel real typing this, and reality hasn’t set in. I’m in pure shock. Sunday night Casper and I went to bed per usual, he fell sleep around 12:30 AM, I went to bed at 3 AM. I woke up around 7 AM, noticed the sun was shining and thought it was odd he hadn’t woken me up yet. I went to check on him and noticed his sweet little body wasn’t moving. He was cold, he was purple, he wasn’t breathing. I called 911 and immediately began CPR. I was performing the CPR, while simultaneously breathing air into my cold lifeless baby’s mouth. He was rushed away in an ambulance, and taken to the hospital, where we later were informed it was too late. The cause of death is still undetermined. I don’t know what or how to say it. Our baby boy it just gone. It was the day of his two month birthday. I feel nothing, but l also feel everything. We’re utterly destroyed. I will be attaching a go fund me for anyone who is willing to help with expenses for his memorial, as well as help for me to move into a new place because I can no longer step foot into that apartment. He was my everything. He saved me, and now we are completely lost. Being a mother was something I never planned to do, but I did it, and I never knew I was capable of loving someone so much, and now I have been robbed of this experience, with no answers as to why. I’ve never been through something like this, so I don’t know how to handle it. He is always in my heart, I just wish he was still in my arms. It’s hard to speak on, but I didn’t know a better way to inform the public besides speak out myself. The memorial will be private with only close family because I can’t handle much right now. I don’t know how to close this post, but I just want to thank everyone for loving him so much during his short time on this earth.