Help Molly and Kids Rebuild and Start Over

Story

Hello, as embarrassing as it is to write this and have to ask for help restarting our lives, here we are. I’m Molly and I have 3 little children ages 5, 3, and 1. Us 4 are in need of help to rebuild a new life from the old life I worked so hard to hold together. I hate to ask for help about anything, but I’m out of options and in over my head at this point in life, so I’ll be as transparent as possible even though it is embarrassing. I never thought this could or would be my life, and it’s not what I want in mine or my children’s lives any longer. As some of you might know already, my husband was and continues to be an alcoholic and addict who sabotages his life, and this in turn has sabotaged ours. For years, we’ve cleaned up messes and worked out of debt and all the predicaments he’s put us in, in hopes of him changing and helping to better our lives. He’s made promises and done some of the work, but somehow he always chooses those things over us again and again. A few months ago should have been the last straw after he got drunk before coming home. When I asked for a divorce, he assaulted me in front of our kids and then behind a door he locked while the kids screamed outside. I got a protection order and started the process of separating. During this time, bills started to stack up and I was struggling to pay for everything on my own between paying for childcare so I could work and then working enough hours to be able to pay for childcare and regular bills. I eventually fell behind on a few things. After a few weeks, he worked his way back in claiming to be saved by Jesus and that he was going to AA and therapy. The kids missed him so much and didn’t understand what was happening, so I eventually dropped the protection order so they could see him. He manipulated and lied his way back into our family and home with the promises he’s always made, and I accepted them in hopes that he was finally changing for the kids. But I couldn’t get past what he did to me, so a few days ago I said I couldn’t do it anymore and wanted to move forward as parents but not partners. That we could raise our kids peacefully and friendly and there didn’t have to be bickering or drama; it was just time to move on. This did not go over well with him and he could not do that and started acting scary and sporadic and saying ominous things. I finally had to ask him to go sleep on the couch, but instead he left. I was so scared thinking he’d come back that night and do something awful, but he didn’t, and the next day I was sent a picture of him being arrested for drunk driving again and totaling our family van with our car seats in it and causing injury to two other people. Now it’s just us trying to figure out how to restart, with all the debt that came from his last mistake and now with this one. I want to try to keep my kids in the home they love and not cause too much change in their life, and can potentially do that if I can get caught up on the bills that have stacked up in the last few months. The other worry is that if we stay in the same place, will we be safe? At this point, I’m not sure what he’s capable of. Or my other option is we will need to move to another cheaper and safer place that I can afford on my own and make a new, more stable life for them. Either way, I’m not sure how to do it on my own financially. At least right now. If anyone reads all of this and even just shares, Id appreciate it so much. If you are able to help at all by donating, all I can say is I’m so thankful and will promise that it’s going to be going towards a beautiful, healthy, and stable life for these awesome, amazing kids who never deserved to have to deal with anything like this. Thank you so much. Hopefully, good and progressive updates will come.