Help Visnja Recover From Narc Abuse & Reunite with Daughter

Help Me Rebuild My Life and Reunite with My Daughter After Narcissistic Abuse

Hello, my name is Visnja, and I am reaching out to you for help in my fight to reunite with my daughter and rebuild our lives.

This is my story:

My Struggle

In 2013, I left Serbia to escape my narcissistic mother and abusive father. I moved to South America where when I was 27, I met the father of my daughter. At first we were very much in love, he was encouraging and gave promises of always taking care of me, I believed we were soul mates and that I had finally found a man I can build a healthy and loving family I never had growing up. Our daughter was born in Miami in 2015, where he forced me to go to give birth. I began to see signs of his narcissistic behavior. He belittled and criticized me about everything, refused to help me gain legal status in USA like he had promised, accused me of being a bad mother, ignored and gaslit me. It was a toxic environment worse than the one I had left in Serbia.

The Nightmare Begins

We lived with his mother, who meddled in our relationship, played both fields and pretended to be my friend while plotting against me. I was ridiculed for trying to bond with my daughter, or about my Spanish accent. I remember singing to her, playing games, and speaking to her in my native Serbian, only to be mocked and criticized. When our daughter was 15 months old, I moved out with her and told him he is free to join me. We needed our own space to be a family, but he refused. Instead, the next 8 years he made my life a living nightmare using our daughter to manipulate and hurt me, preventing me from seeing her, intimidating me, threatening me, and gradually turning our daughter against me.

The Fight for Survival

For nine years, I struggled alone in a foreign country without legal documents, unable to work or drive. I took on various odd jobs to make ends meet, such as working as a makeup artist, painting houses, finding gigs on Craigslist like working in a ticket booth at a fair, working in restaurants, or cleaning department stores and doing demos in supermarkets. Despite everything, I offered my daughter things of a happy childhood filled with love and fun activities as much as I could, like trips to the beach, pool, daily park visits, church and the movies weekly. I organized playdates, DIY arts and crafts, we played together, read together, she had little friendships I encouraged, she had a birthday party and Christmas celebrations every year, we even adopted a cat and a dog to make her childhood as joyful as possible.

In April 2020, I applied for residency under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) and was granted a green card in September 2023. But the damage was already done. He was in her head and in her ear constantly, manipulating her through play and jokes to tell him what she does when she is with me, to them tell her that all I do and say is lies, that I am actually trying to hurt her, that she can't trust me and shouldn't enjoy being with me. She would be rewarded when she disobeys me, and punished when she gets along with me. My daughter began to mirror her father's abusive behavior towards me, and I was losing her.

The Breaking Point

One morning in October 2023, after a difficult night that included a 45-minute argument about her needing to shower before school, my frustration overwhelmed me, and in a moment of regretful anger, I made the mistake of slapping my daughter. She was refusing to shower that night so I gave in and we had agreed she would instead shower in the morning. But, in the morning instead of showering and putting on uniform while I was packing her lunch, she took her phone and played video games. We were now late for school, and I knew her father will use this against me and keep threatening me he will use it in court to take away my custody. In a moment of frustration, fear and rush, I slapped her. In school she reported the slap as mom abusing her, child protective services and police were at my job the next day, I got fired, and her father requested I was issued a restraining order, barring me from seeing or contacting my daughter until February 2028. Since October 2023, I have been completely cut off from any contact with my daughter, with her father and his family not responding to my emails, messages and calls.

Seeking Help

I left Florida because I think my daughter's father was trying to have me arrested on the basis of that restraining order. I fled to Serbia in March 2024, hoping to find some rest, but instead found myself back in the environment of my toxic family who are saying I deserved it all, that it is my fault, and that I am a failure for not coming home with stacks of American dollars and gifts for everyone. I am hiding in my grandmother’s old house in the country, isolated, with no means, and struggling with my mental health. I am running out of food and have nobody I can ask for some money. I won't be able to stay here any longer after the summer when the weather cools down. I want to fight for justice, for my daughter and myself, but I need your help to get back on my feet.

How You Can Help

I am mentally and physically in a bad shape and I can't work until I am more recovered. I need support to cover basic living expenses and psychotherapy, travel back to the USA and legal fees. Here is a breakdown of what I need:

- Plane ticket: $1000

- Apartment (first, last, and deposit): $4500

- Food (6 months x $250): $1500

- Therapy (6 months x 4 sessions x $40): $960

- Defense lawyer: $5000

I don't have family or friends I could stay with when I first arrive to the USA, so I need to be able to rent out an apartment where I can stay. I am not having any income right now and I have no money for food and other supplies like toilet paper, tooth paste, etc. until I am back on my feet and ready to get back to work in the USA. I've experienced a lot of trauma I don't know how to heal from by myself, I need the help of a therapist to navigate through recovery. The defense lawyer to help me remove the restraining order will probably cost more than $5000, but it is a start.

My Goal

I need to return to the USA before February 2025 in order to keep my residency status there, and in order to find a lawyer to fight the restraining order, and reconnect with my daughter. I am determined to heal, rebuild my life, and be the loving mother my daughter deserves. With your support, I believe I can achieve this and provide a brighter future for both of us.

Thank You

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for any support you can provide. Your help means the world to me and my daughter.

With heartfelt gratitude,

Visnja

TikTok channel where I share my story and the updates about my recovery