Help me heal from years of abuse and stay with my wife in UK

Hi all, Dee here (she/they), I am fundraising to cover the cost of my visa application to remain in the UK. Unfortunately my partner was diagnosed with cancer and could not continue to work so we ate through our savings during this period and now can't afford to pay for it. The final stage of the application is £2500 and I’m also hoping to raise enough funds to keep our vehicle on the road to attend appointments etc - the mot this year is another £1000 which we cant afford having already run up a sizeable credit card debt just trying to get through this awful period of time and not be homeless!

I absolutely cannot go back to the US, not only would i be estranged from my wife but i would also be back in the hands of my incredibly abusive family who I fled from 8 years ago to the UK and thankfully found a life here away from them - they still managed to find me here using private detectives and turned up on our doorstep! Forcing us to move house about 5 years ago!

The UK is my home, and I am totally paralysed by fear and just crying my way through my days right now with no way to either pay for my only transport to make money or to pay for the visa, so I can stay with my loved ones and away from harm in the States.

I have developed CPTSD as a result of the level of abuse i was subjected to and struggle to do anything atm - my healing journey was going really well and i was starting to get back into the world again and now ive been hit by this and I am experiencing relapses, anxiety attacks and incredibly difficult flashbacks as well as a flare in my OCD which is paralysing enough as it is! I just need it to stop, I need the fear of having to return to America and be within striking distance of my family again, I am so close to putting it behind me for good and becoming a UK citizen and maybe starting my life again with some kind of viable peace, this is all I need to achieve that and there's a path for me again.

My extended Story:

8 years ago, I became estranged from my American Right-Wing Extremist bio family and narcisstic mother. I suffered humiliation trauma I went through has made it difficult to trust others, and as a result, I never really feel safe. I came out as queer, non-binary, non-monogamous, accepted my diagnosed ADHD, OCD, and C-PTSD, dyed my hair blue, and married a woman--somethings I never thought I’d do! Today, I experience extreme daily anxiety, bouts of depression, extreme mood swings, migraines, syncope, and frequent flashbacks. Over the course of the last 6 years, I have had 7 therapists and have not been able to afford one for a long time which is making things even worse.

Family Trauma:

At home, I fulfilled the roles of Golden Child and caregiver and only emotional support for my mentally ill mother and grandmother (who lived with us) and parent for my younger sibling as a child. My parents' politics (Doomsday Preppers with guns, ammo, and a small bunker) made growing up a bit scary.

As a young person, I was subjected to an invasive medical surgery I was forced by my family to consent to under duress (in which I woke up during which caused me a scar I have to see on my face every day now), sexual assault as a child and by partners ages 15-22--plus, social isolation, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse from parents.

I have experienced stalking, harassment, and a lifetime of suspicion at home, private investigators, and fear of my family members being killed or kidnapped (including me) by adults who knew my parents. I struggled with addiction to prescription Ritalin that my mom made me take - in an effort to ensure I went to a good school - during an extremely stressful, demanding, university life.I have also dozens of wilderness-related near-death experiences that cause flashbacks and nightmares today from ridiculous family trips to incredibly unsafe places.

My mom was a hoarder to an extreme--keeping rooms full of potential future thrifted wedding and baby clothes (7 wedding dresses before I even graduated high school with notably no partner to even marry) and would not stop running my whole life for me. I wasn't allowed private space whatsoever. I was expected to shower with her, groom her physically and be subjected to any grooming she decided I needed, and never have any door locked ever, even as an adult. They controlled me with money and prevented me from getting a car and when I did choose an apartment to live in, my mom falsely got me a second job without my consent in the building as a caretaker, manipulated the building manager to let her into my place while I was in a different city for work, and threw out a lot of my things because she didn’t ‘like it’ anymore. As a minor and as an adult, my mother regularly used my name, signature, and voice on the phone for university applications, apparently banking details, and more. I rarely got to choose what I wore, where I went, how long I stayed out, etc. She had all of my clothes for the rest of my life lined up in storage including wedding dresses and childrens clothes for all the children she was insisting i have

I'm now fully estranged from them, and thanks to lots of therapists telling me to write a book (once I am done with this, maybe I will!) and most importantly, my wifes kindness and support as a partner and friend, I am finally getting back on my feet psychologically after years of abuse and isolation from right-wing extremists. While I will still live with my C-PTSD probably forever, I hope to be able to empower others to leave their abusers and seek therapy if it is safe for them and seek out communities that can provide alternative family love they so deserve.

Thanks so much for your time in reading this, and I appreciate any support you can offer to help me stay safe and loved so I can find some peace and restart my healing process.